5 Days and Counting
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
5 Days and Counting
Okay so first of all *waves* Hi, I'm new here. (obviously) 
I'll start off by saying, today is the 5th day that I have gone without having a drink.
I've been having problems with booze ever since I was about 16 or 17, to make a long story short some rather messed up family situations and a few sour relationships led me to it, and eventually my current job added to the queue of stress. I have tried to quit before, but I always manage to convince myself that I can be a moderate drinker again. And for a while I am, but then it progresses more and more until one day, such as last Wednesday, I just drink and drink and drink until I make myself entirely sick (literally) and break down completely.
I felt so horrible this last time that I have decided I really do have a problem and I need to stop for good. I am ashamed of this and I won't tell my friends or family, as far as they are concerned I am quitting just because I want to, but secretly I know I need help.
A friend of mine at work offered to help me stop if I really wanted to. I guess that would make him my sponsor? With his help and the support of my boyfriend (yes, despite the name and avatar, I am a woman, lol) I have managed to get rid of every drop of alcohol left in my apartment and have not touched a drop for 5 days so far. It is very difficult sometimes when I get really stressed and want nothing more then to go buy a bottle of jack and just drink away my problems.
I also suffer from major anxiety so the idea of going to AA meetings in person literally makes me cringe and want to throw up. I am very shy, but I'm also very smart, and I know that what I am doing is the best thing for me and that I have to keep pushing one day at a time no matter what. At this point I don't feel I need medical help, but I'm working on a more psychological level. I have to keep negative thoughts away and keep my will power going to stay sober.
Just wanted to share my story, and I hope to meet some new friends here as well. The more support I have the better I will feel.
I'll start off by saying, today is the 5th day that I have gone without having a drink.
I've been having problems with booze ever since I was about 16 or 17, to make a long story short some rather messed up family situations and a few sour relationships led me to it, and eventually my current job added to the queue of stress. I have tried to quit before, but I always manage to convince myself that I can be a moderate drinker again. And for a while I am, but then it progresses more and more until one day, such as last Wednesday, I just drink and drink and drink until I make myself entirely sick (literally) and break down completely.
I felt so horrible this last time that I have decided I really do have a problem and I need to stop for good. I am ashamed of this and I won't tell my friends or family, as far as they are concerned I am quitting just because I want to, but secretly I know I need help.
A friend of mine at work offered to help me stop if I really wanted to. I guess that would make him my sponsor? With his help and the support of my boyfriend (yes, despite the name and avatar, I am a woman, lol) I have managed to get rid of every drop of alcohol left in my apartment and have not touched a drop for 5 days so far. It is very difficult sometimes when I get really stressed and want nothing more then to go buy a bottle of jack and just drink away my problems.
I also suffer from major anxiety so the idea of going to AA meetings in person literally makes me cringe and want to throw up. I am very shy, but I'm also very smart, and I know that what I am doing is the best thing for me and that I have to keep pushing one day at a time no matter what. At this point I don't feel I need medical help, but I'm working on a more psychological level. I have to keep negative thoughts away and keep my will power going to stay sober.
Just wanted to share my story, and I hope to meet some new friends here as well. The more support I have the better I will feel.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Philly PA
Posts: 814
Welcome Flyer! I'm from the Philly area so I love the name (and the Flyers, Phillies but not Eagles).
Anyway welcome. I only told 3 people and I'm 61 days in. Don't see me telling many more but this site has been a God send. Support, advice and compassion when warranted along with a dose of tough love at times.
Getting sober is hard but I'm feeling the benefits, slowly but surly
Take care and don't drink
Anyway welcome. I only told 3 people and I'm 61 days in. Don't see me telling many more but this site has been a God send. Support, advice and compassion when warranted along with a dose of tough love at times.
Getting sober is hard but I'm feeling the benefits, slowly but surly
Take care and don't drink
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Welcome flyer fan!
You came to the right place here. I used SR as a major part of my recovery. And the support here is remarkable. I used AA meetings as even though I was terrified and hated the first AA meeting I went to, I found a different group that was awesome for me. I stopped using AA after three months and pretty much use here now. But the face to face support was crucial to me. We have AA meetings here online and 12 step threads and even secular AA threads.
Our AA forums are here:
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Our secular AA forum is here:
Secular 12 Step Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
And our secular connections for alternatives is here:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Look around and post often. That is how you get support here, just ask.
You came to the right place here. I used SR as a major part of my recovery. And the support here is remarkable. I used AA meetings as even though I was terrified and hated the first AA meeting I went to, I found a different group that was awesome for me. I stopped using AA after three months and pretty much use here now. But the face to face support was crucial to me. We have AA meetings here online and 12 step threads and even secular AA threads.
Our AA forums are here:
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Our secular AA forum is here:
Secular 12 Step Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
And our secular connections for alternatives is here:
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Look around and post often. That is how you get support here, just ask.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
Hi and welcome
I didn't really like AA meetings at first because like yourself, I was nervous and had a lot of anxiety about showing my face at a meeting. People told me to go until I wanted to go and so I did what they said and now I look forward to socializing with my new circle of sober friends. I pretty much came to the realization that if I wanted to be sober, I was going to have to make some new sober friends and build a support group. Trust me, I fought this concept for years. No way was I going to make sober friends and get a sponsor. The last time I relapsed, I finally realized that I needed to start doing what people suggested. I guess you could say it clicked for me. Everyone does things differently though so do what works for you. If it literally makes you ill to think about going to a meeting then give it some time, but maybe try one or two eventually and see what you think.
I didn't really like AA meetings at first because like yourself, I was nervous and had a lot of anxiety about showing my face at a meeting. People told me to go until I wanted to go and so I did what they said and now I look forward to socializing with my new circle of sober friends. I pretty much came to the realization that if I wanted to be sober, I was going to have to make some new sober friends and build a support group. Trust me, I fought this concept for years. No way was I going to make sober friends and get a sponsor. The last time I relapsed, I finally realized that I needed to start doing what people suggested. I guess you could say it clicked for me. Everyone does things differently though so do what works for you. If it literally makes you ill to think about going to a meeting then give it some time, but maybe try one or two eventually and see what you think.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Thanks everyone, it feels really great to have support. Tomorrow will be 1 week. I have been having horrible nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night though, I don't like that much. Any idea how long that usually lasts?
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
FlyerFan, during those first weeks, I saw changes in how I was feeling every day. My discomfort reached a peak at day 3 or 4, and then slowly improved every dang day after that.
AA might not be for you, so make sure that you learn about things that others have done that helped them find their own path to sobriety. I learned a lot from the Sober Connections forum that Itchy suggested.
I hope you will be able to take your turn in writing a post like this one very soon. Hang in!
AA might not be for you, so make sure that you learn about things that others have done that helped them find their own path to sobriety. I learned a lot from the Sober Connections forum that Itchy suggested.
I hope you will be able to take your turn in writing a post like this one very soon. Hang in!
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by freshstart57 
FlyerFan, during those first weeks, I saw changes in how I was feeling every day. My discomfort reached a peak at day 3 or 4, and then slowly improved every dang day after that.
AA might not be for you, so make sure that you learn about things that others have done that helped them find their own path to sobriety. I learned a lot from the Sober Connections forum that Itchy suggested.
I hope you will be able to take your turn in writing a post like this one very soon. Hang in!
AA might not be for you, so make sure that you learn about things that others have done that helped them find their own path to sobriety. I learned a lot from the Sober Connections forum that Itchy suggested.
I hope you will be able to take your turn in writing a post like this one very soon. Hang in!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Fl
Posts: 11
Your just one day behind me. I really love being sober and know that it's easier if I stay hold up in my house. Scared about going out this weekend. It's a step I have to take. Stay strong and know that you are not alone. I'm on the same journey as many on this site have been. It can be done, they are proof. And like you, I want my life back so badly.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by Balerie
Your just one day behind me. I really love being sober and know that it's easier if I stay hold up in my house. Scared about going out this weekend. It's a step I have to take. Stay strong and know that you are not alone. I'm on the same journey as many on this site have been. It can be done, they are proof. And like you, I want my life back so badly.
Originally Posted by SoCalDude
Hey Flyer, welcome. My Wings won last night!
Keep it up! I'm back to day 6 with you, feel great! Hope to see you at a week tomorrow, buddy!
My Wings won last night!Keep it up! I'm back to day 6 with you, feel great! Hope to see you at a week tomorrow, buddy!
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