I'm sad and scared and I feel totally helpless.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dancin' with my Decie in the living room <3
Posts: 7
I'm sad and scared and I feel totally helpless.
Dear SoberRecovery members,
My name is Ash, and I'm fifteen years old with the sweetest boyfriend a girl could ask for. I'm not a substance abuser. But I've felt the pain and heartache of loving someone who sadly is. I come from a home in southern West Virginia that is what my brother and I refer to as "Drug Central" so I'm no stranger to the skinny, pale shells of what used to be people I loved. It's just that I never imagined the boy I love to fall victim to its crippling grip. He used to never tell me about the stuff he does, he thought I would be angry or disappointed. But I'm neither. I'm sad and scared and I feel totally helpless. He wants to quit for himself and for me, he's said so. Last night, we were on the phone and he sounded funny. I asked him whats wrong and he said that he was "F*cked up on something bad". He then said that he didn't want to tell me because he was afraid I'd get angry. I finally got him to tell me. It hurt, and it still hurts when I think of his next words - "I'm nothin' but an addict and that's all I'll ever be." I felt my heart rise up to my throat and my eyes tear up. My mind was racing and my thoughts were cloudy. The only thing that I could think of was finding him help because he's so much more than that. And then I found this site, and it seems like a nonjudgemental place where I don't have to worry about people telling me that he's not worth it or I should just give up. I've learned that people like that just don't understand that I can't give up. So please, anyone, help?
My name is Ash, and I'm fifteen years old with the sweetest boyfriend a girl could ask for. I'm not a substance abuser. But I've felt the pain and heartache of loving someone who sadly is. I come from a home in southern West Virginia that is what my brother and I refer to as "Drug Central" so I'm no stranger to the skinny, pale shells of what used to be people I loved. It's just that I never imagined the boy I love to fall victim to its crippling grip. He used to never tell me about the stuff he does, he thought I would be angry or disappointed. But I'm neither. I'm sad and scared and I feel totally helpless. He wants to quit for himself and for me, he's said so. Last night, we were on the phone and he sounded funny. I asked him whats wrong and he said that he was "F*cked up on something bad". He then said that he didn't want to tell me because he was afraid I'd get angry. I finally got him to tell me. It hurt, and it still hurts when I think of his next words - "I'm nothin' but an addict and that's all I'll ever be." I felt my heart rise up to my throat and my eyes tear up. My mind was racing and my thoughts were cloudy. The only thing that I could think of was finding him help because he's so much more than that. And then I found this site, and it seems like a nonjudgemental place where I don't have to worry about people telling me that he's not worth it or I should just give up. I've learned that people like that just don't understand that I can't give up. So please, anyone, help?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Hi Shae
I'm really sorry you have to deal with this so young - but you'll find a lot of support here, a lot of advice and a lot of encouragement
I know what it's like to want to save someone - you'd give a limb to take the pain and sadness away.
It just doesn't work like that tho.
As an alcoholic and addict myself I can tell you - I had to want to find the help myself - I have to be prepared to walk the journey to recovery myself - noone else can walk it for me.
The best thing anyone I loved could do for me was to look after themselves, while I was sorting my own stuff out.
Make sure your boundaries are good Shae - it's a rough road for all concerned - make sure you're looking after yourself in all this
I also recommend looking at our Family and Friends forums - you'll find a lot of people down there who understand too
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family
D
I'm really sorry you have to deal with this so young - but you'll find a lot of support here, a lot of advice and a lot of encouragement
I know what it's like to want to save someone - you'd give a limb to take the pain and sadness away.
It just doesn't work like that tho.
As an alcoholic and addict myself I can tell you - I had to want to find the help myself - I have to be prepared to walk the journey to recovery myself - noone else can walk it for me.
The best thing anyone I loved could do for me was to look after themselves, while I was sorting my own stuff out.
Make sure your boundaries are good Shae - it's a rough road for all concerned - make sure you're looking after yourself in all this
I also recommend looking at our Family and Friends forums - you'll find a lot of people down there who understand too
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family
D
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