quitforme79

So today I filled in some family and friends what has been going on with me and drinking. Only 1/5 judged me in a way that hurt and that's ok; she'll be there for me but doesn't understand how I could let myself get into this situation. Another friend refused to believe I have a problem and stated that "this happens to all of us now and then". Maybe she was trying to make me feel less ashamed or less upset (I was crying on the phone). But she also has issues drinking at times and maybe doesn't want to shed light on her own problems. I can't say that a light has shone down on me now that I have truly admitted my problem to others. There were no fireworks, ephiphany's or major realizations. I didn't tell others for accountability or to be consoled. I did it to start the process of reaching out for help and admitting that I sometimes need more than just myself to get thru things. I tend to be stubborn and walk thru life and my problems alone which most likely hindered my recovery the last few go arounds. In the past few days, I have made a fool of myself while drinking. I didn't hurt anyone except myself. At best, I feel like an idiot who voiced her feelings to an ex who doesn't give a flying f*c$. Oh well, it is what it is and I can't let that keep me drinking. Even though I was severely hungover yesterday & pleading for help on this forum, I drank today and had my last one 7 hours ago. I feel it is my time to stop. I feel that I am ready to be free from this poison. It's going to be a long night and a hell of a day at work tomorrow but that's ok. One step at a time and next week I know I will feel like a totally different person. (physically anyway). Thanks to all of you who have walked me thru so many tough times. I don't want to let myself down anymore and will be seeing you in the threads.

BlueEyedBoy

I think it was really brave to let friends know. I told some of my closest friends recently, and their reaction was mixed. Some, as you described, did not think I needed any help, but I felt that they have their own issues with booze. You have made a great leap- good luck!

Inca

Kudos for reaching out for help and doing what's right for you. In the long run, I think you will be glad you have told others...it's the start of your support system that you will need to continue to build.

As for me, I told some of my closest friends. Some were supportive, and some were anything but. It helped me learn up front who I could hang around safely and who I needed to step back from. Remember, this is your life you're fighting for so do whatever you think is right for you and the rest will fall into place.

quitforme79

You are so right Inca when you say I will learn who I can be around now that I have decided to get sober. It sounds silly but I was thinking today that there's a wedding coming up and however will I get thru that? I will get thru it sober and drive my butt home rather than crash at my friends haha It's a whole new life for me but I am tired of being so tired, u know? Thanks for your post

Itchy

I think that was a key step you took. I did that too and got the you don't have a problem you just need to moderate from my own wife and grown kids! Sheesh! Isn't it nice to see what a non issue it really is for others? I checked into detox in hospital as soon as I had everything set for my absence.

I can't believe how many people think they have people fooled or that the rest simply don't care. However you can't ask for help or expect any of it is a deep dark secret.

I also used here on SR, AA, Counseling, my Docs, and it took every bit of that help for me to get sober and stay that way. I look forward to reading your posts as you go. Post often, and ask any questions you have here. They sure helped me.

quitforme79

Thank you itchy and yes, it really is amazing. I think some people are so caught up in their own stuff they never really see what's going on behind closed doors even if I admit it wholeheartedly. I have been to the dr so that's good and debating on AA. Not sure if it's a step I'm ready to take but I am building up support systems nonetheless. I didn't take this step of opening up to as many people in my life before and i think that's just one of the reasons I failed. Your posts are always inspirational to me and I look forward to seeing you here on SR

Itchy

Try some different AA meetings for a week, they don't bite! If they don't suit you and have nothing you can take and leave the rest then quit then. I only used AA for the first three months of my sobriety and then dropped all but here for the rest and my docs and family of course.

You can always quit something once you achieve your goals. But it would be a shame if you missed the one you needed. I did not do everything that AA normally does.

I joined AA and just being able to talk without covering up exactly what I was and had done with others that accepted me for what I will be, not what I had been was simply amazing.

quitforme79

You make some very good points itchy. I considered dropping in on one on my way home tonight but ended up at the supermarket instead hehe I will definitely think about what you said and let you know if I end up going. Thanks

Anna

I'm glad that you're ready to stop drinking and know that there is lots of support here.

Itchy

Hey if you have it under control no need. I was just not going to miss any bets. It didn't hurt. I just didn't need them long term and others do.

Sapling

Just curious what you mean by that?...The reason I ask is because I had tried everthing...And I couldn't do it alone...I had a fairly lengthy drinking career..I was ready to take any step that I could...And I took all twelve of them.

quitforme79

Hi Sapling,
I am really more of a private person. I feel that relating to others with my drinking issues is integral to my success but I can get that here on SR, and I prefer writing over talking in all aspects of my life haha. One on one therapy has always worked for me and then when I start doing bad, I STOP going. Which is obviously the worst thing to do. Therefore, I don't feel AA is such a neccessity for me as I have other venues and support systems. Just thinking about walking into a room full of people I don't know makes me anxious. I know many people it is a god send for and I am glad it is there. I may explore the steps, have done some research online.

Sapling

Do whatever works for you...That's the important thing....Whatever road you take...Take that honesty with you. It's a major part of recovery.