Giving in to cravings
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 15
Hi timetochange, I don't really have advice (day 3 for me) but just wanted to say that I can totally relate. I can be having a great day and when that thought enters my head, that's it, it's hopeless, there's no negotiating. That's one of the reasons I never thought AA could help, I don't want to talk about it when I just decide to drink, I would never make a call to anybody. 
The next morning, realizing how quickly I decided to drink, no thinking it out at all, scares the heck out of me, I feel doomed. I guess this is what they mean by willpower doesn't work for addicts.
The next morning, realizing how quickly I decided to drink, no thinking it out at all, scares the heck out of me, I feel doomed. I guess this is what they mean by willpower doesn't work for addicts. 
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by keithj 
Consider this, timetochange. IF you 'decide' you're going to drink, then can't you just 'decide' that you're not going to drink?
I was able to decide to not drink pretty much at will, it was no problem, and it stuck too............................riiiiiiiight up until the time where I'd chance my mind and decide drinking was ok.
The next day (and Time....I never felt all that physically affected either....I could down a liter in the evening and feel relatively ok the next AM. No puking....just a little out of sorts for a while - I was convinced it was a gift I'd received....like I was somehow uniquely built for drinking - lmao) I'd sit there trying to figure out "how the hell did it happen again?" No mind you, I NEVER made a resolution to quit "for good and for all." All I'd do is say to myself, "Not drinking tonight...maybe this whole week, yep, the whole week.....just ONE week not drinking then I'll go back to it." I never made it a week before I'd be drinking again.
All that time.......I was SOOOOOOOOO sure i was DECIDING to not drink, then CHANGING MY MIND and DECIDING to drink again. I had absolutely noooooo clue that I rarely really "decided" to drink again....... I was driven to it.....I had no choice BUT to drink. Such is the life of a chronic alcoholic - the delusional belief that they can choose to not drink.....and that they choose TO drink.....when really it's alcoholism making those choices for them.
I did have the choice to get into recovery and I did have the choice to get recovered or not......hah.......that choice I left on the table for a long time though. Thankfully, it's a choice that's still available up until we take our last breath. There's allllllllllllllllways hope.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Newport Beach. CA
Posts: 6
I really, really want to be done with drinking, like I have never wanted it before. I see how good things can be and I want it. I need to fight for it like I've never fought for anything else in my life.
Last edited by tthornyone; 01-03-2012 at 05:22 AM. Reason: too much copy
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