Carabosse

My boyfriend will be back from the pub, where I should have been spending the night with him and our friends.

Instead I am home alone drinking weak tea to try and get over the after effects of last night's binge.

Which followed on from the Christmas Day binge.

Which followed on from the huge binge of a few weeks ago when I promised not to binge any more, and well, you may get the idea.

I usually only drink once a week or on special occasions, but every time I can't stop at one or two. Or three or four. Or after we get home from the pub. I have blackouts and can't remember getting home or going to bed. Or I remember only random flashes, which is somehow worse...

Anyway, after said boyfriend was kept up till around four in the morning last night by my "antics," it's become clear that I can't carry on like this, and neither can he. And there won't be a we. And I can't have another morning when I wake up, following a blackout, with a storming hangover, and think, "Just exactly how mad is he going to be with me this time?" Or reliving that moment I realised that, of all my friends, I am the drunk annoying one. Every time...

So, it's time to give up. Next time, of course, I won't have an excuse not to go to the pub and will have to face social situations sober for the first time in years. If anyone has any tips on this, I'd be really grateful.

Impurrfect

(((Carabosse))) - Welcome to SR!! You're definitely not alone. My thing wasn't drinking (crack was) but I'm sure there will be many others here to give you some support and advice. When I first got here, I read a ton of other posts and found "my story" repeated, with some variations. It's like a club no one wants to belong to, but it's great to know we're not walking this road alone.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Carabosse

Hi Amy

Thank you. It's true, there are so many similar stories, I have read quite a few today and thought - that could be me. It is definitely helping already to know that there are other people out there who understand this, and can support.

Dee74

Welcome Carabosse

In my early recovery I actually stayed away from places or events where alcohol was the central theme.

I really wanted to change my life, and I found to do that I had to make changes above and beyond just not drinking, y'know?

Can you and your bf maybe find other things to do or places to go besides the pub?

D

Fubarcdn

Good luck Amy.
I am just starting over today but I went close to a year before without.
When I wasn't drinking going to the pub was very depressing for me.
If you find that it affects you that way too I suggest you find other things to do or places to go that are more suited to a sober life.
You can do this. Be strong.

Vigo

Staying at home drinking tea sounds like a better plan for staying sober than hanging out at a pub with people who are drinking. Good choice, IMO.

Carabosse

Hi there, I have been thinking about just trying to avoid situations with alcohol to begin with but wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not? I am also trying to give up smoking at the same time, and that's got very strong associations with the booze for me.

It tends to be a case of just meeting up with our friends down the pub on a weekend, people do like to go so it's not really avoidable in terms of seeing people.

I am going to suggest that me and my boyfriend do some different things and spend more proper time together - even if it's just going for a walk or something else to get out of the house! (Basically anything that won't lead to staying in binge drinking.)

gaffo

Quitting smoking and drinking will make you feel and look much better and the money you save can be used for other things.

dawnrunner

I agree with others about avoiding the pub for the time being, and your plan about other activities is great.

When it does come time to face a drinking situation, have a plan in place. You will order ? (a ginger ale, a hot chocolate, club soda, whatever). You will stay for only so long as you feel relaxed and comfortable. You will have a reason to leave all prepared and use it in advance of getting anywhere near wanting to drink or smoke. Then, you will have an alternate activity planned - even if it's just 'go home and take a bath' - because having survived a tempting social situation has in my case resulted in a perverse desire to 'reward' myself at the liquor store on the way home.

Congratulations on waking up and setting forth on the journey to health, joy, and sanity! It is going to be an amazing New Year.

kipper2

Hi - I start sobriety tomorrow. I confessed my addiction to my MD two days ago. It was my first public confession. I felt a ton lifted off my shoulders. He has prescribed Valium, 5mg, 2 x's daily for 3 days, then once daily for a total of two weeks when I go back to see him. Has anyone else had success with this prescription. I am afraid of the daily tremors and brain fogginess without medicinal intervention.

Dee74

Welcome Kipper

I've never taken valium in this context, but I'm sure you'll hear the experiences of ppl here who have

D

Vigo

That is a GREAT idea. In my 11+ months clean and sober, I have gone to bars/clubs with friends many times, and I was NEVER better off for it. At this point, I try to avoid going to bars as much as I possibly can.

jocata

Welcome carabosse! As the others have said, going to a place where people are there to drink is not a good idea in early sobriety. You really do have to make a lot of changes in your life. For me just not drinking is not enough. That just makes me a miserable sober person. Find positive things to take the place of alcohol. It's not easy at first, but after you do it for awhile you will start to enjoy it. Best wishes.
God bless.