soberbrah

I obsess about it daily

3 weeks sober right now, and i'm constantly making reservations about scenarios in the future when I could drink

I feel like I'm going to miss out on soooooo much awesomeness by avoiding alcohol

i'm going to London and Dublin with my GF for a couple nights each in about 6 weeks and I'm thinking to myself wtf am I going to do sober?

seems like its sort of the main attraction to vacations etc...

i hope i have some more clarity by the time I go

gaffo

You're going to have a great time and remember it. Nine weeks feels better than three weeks. I'm at nine weeks and I just survived a long weekend on the couch watching football with beer drinking in laws. You'll have to be prepared to say "no" to Guiness.

Sapling

How about enjoying and remembering two wonderful places?...That might be kind of fun....Congrats on your 3 weeks, and have a great 2012 sober, hopefully.... for your sake....And your GFs.

Mark75

Why? Why is alcohol the center of all that is good? Perhaps untreated alcoholism?

I felt like that too, so I hope you take my response in the spirit it was intended...

Oh, there was a guy with many years of sobriety at my meeting tonight. We are his U.S. home group... he lives in Dublin. I love to hear him talk, both his accent and his excellent insight he has in the 12 steps.

He loves Dublin and finds plenty of stuff to do.

Be well, once the obsession is lifted, you will see past all this.

soberbrah

fun is directly linked to boozin in my mind

GirlFromCO

Better unlink it fast, then

LaFemme

Hi! I can remember what it was to think that fun=booze. That illusion has evaporated like the smoke it is. I'm sorry I don't know your situation but what are you doing to get over the belief that you have that fun=booze?

It does take some work since it is a thought that has become deeply ingrained but I promise you it isn't the truth.

Terminally Unique

I don't know you, but if I were a gambling man, I would wager that it is because you drank enough of it and for long enough to make it the central purpose in your life. As a result, your mind and body adapted accordingly, until one day you came to feel that you needed it. Rest assured that you can indeed re-adapt to life without it, though.

soberbrah

I'm 22, when people say having fun they are 7always referring to drinking, blazing, sexing

Imo without this stuff I am boring

I'm also turned on to alcohol because I have sexual issues from medications amd can't get any release that way so drinking is my one form of relief

KarrieJay

Soberbrah if drinking has been so much fun for you, why are you considering giving it up? In my experience, people only consider stopping when the drinking is causing them problems, not when it's giving them a good time.

I'm guessing that you're trapped in that horrible place where you know that you would have less problems in life if you didn't drink, but you can't envisage a happy life without the alcohol. But it's a paradox because a life full of problems would not be a happy life.

Ask yourself two questions:

(1) When was the last time a social event was improved by you drinking?
(2) When was the last time a social event was spoiled by you drinking?

ReadyAndAble

For me it was a matter of distinguishing between my idealized images of alcohol (a glass of wine over dinner or sitting by a fireplace, all is happy and relaxed) and the reality (forgetting all about the fireplace, food, and conversation while I obsess over alcohol). Throw in the likelihood of waking up the next day to discomfort and disappointment, and I really don't see alcohol as the center of anything except regret.

You'll have more fun without it. It's just your addiction trying to trick you into thinking you need it.

soberjim

ReadyAndAble..Well written. makes absolute senses. For me it is like I have 2 minds. The am mind focuses on the reality, the pm focuses on the idealized images. I'm beginning to realize and accept that this is the way alcohol works to convince you to keep drinking. Simple in concept yet, alcohol is very powerful.

Thanks for the post.
Jim

Itchy

Congrats on your three weeks! Woo Hoo!
You said that :
"Imo without this stuff I am boring"

I agree with you. Try something now that you are sober. I am sure you know someone who is boring while drinking, check them out sober. Still boring right? Now check out someone you think is not boring drunk while sober. Not boring sober either. But now that you are sober were you to try to engage that person after they drank and you did not they would be worse than boring, right?

If you are an inherently boring person you will be more boring drinking.

If that is the case then yes you are boring sober. Is that something you think you can work on? Or is drinking the only way you can pretend you are not boring?

I would bet that once you have a few more months of sobriety, assuming you want sobriety, you will realize that it is easier to go and actually do something, and the doing is more fun, than watching others doing something from the bar or sidelines drunk.

I hear the instant gratification "Booooring" complaint often.

I know what boredom is for me:
Boredom is wanting to do something, anything, as long as you don’t have to actually do something to do it.

SSIL75

You're thinking like an alcoholic which is... appropriate I guess but I would say it'll be impossible for you to stay sober unless you change your thinking.

I know EXACTLY how you feel because I felt the same way. The trick was identifying those feelings for what they were: Alcoholic BS. It's simply untrue that alcohol is the center of all that is good.

soberbrah

i get so excited thinking about drinking, i start drooling at a restaurant when i look at the bar and see what they have on tap

like honestly what the hell do I have to live for without booze?

going to Europe with GF, all "fun" is based around clubbing etc......

focusing on career? my motivation for being successful is so I can go to the bars ad be a big swinging dick, and have the money to drink margaritas in the carribean

it is seriously behind every motive of my being

soberjim

Soberbrah..I know why I want to eliminate alcohol from my life. Just to name a few: I don't want to ruin a realtionship with my wife, my son, don't want to compromise my health any further, don't want a DUI, don't want to interfere with the success I'm having at work. I could go on but you get the point.

When you examine your life, where you are now and where you want to be in say 10 years, what is your list of reasons for stopping?

Jim

soberbrah

drinking basically is keeping me from accomplishing attainable goals sober

drinking causes
1. lack of productivity
2. increased depression
3. inceased anxiety
4. its postponng me opening an insurance agency
5. i have like 12 credits left for my degree and I had to withdraw a week before finals this semester because I was coming off a bender and experiencing ridiculous depression and anxiety
6. kills my GPA, I could ace every class my college(top 50 school) easily without alcohol in my liife
7. sober, I could get my agency up and running and be in law school within 4 years from now
8. physically, when I'm sober I'm in excellent shape, I hit the gym religiously
9. sober, my diet is mostly in check, and if it isnt I have the ability to make up the difference in the gym
10. sober, I don't have entire days completely ruined by a suicidal hangover


But I still obsess about that damn drink, makes me feel all damn warm and fuzzy inside and heals wounds instantly, its just the baggage it comes with that sucks

Vanilla28

i dont know if you are in AA or anything, im not, but ive started reading the book rational recovery, and its helped me alot in the times i start to think about drinking and that voice inside my head, and when i start to visualize all the times i think im going to want to drink etc.. maybe check out the RR webite and read a couple things, it might help you?

each to their own, but its helped me with the mental aspect of the whole drinking thing.

congrats on your 3 weeks!!

soberjim

Wow, just looking at your list. Seems as if you have a great many reasons not to drink and you will be in a much better place if you pull the plug on drinking. This list for continuing to drink is very small.

Jim

soberbrah

the drinking just gives me a timeout from reality and gives me an outlet for all the pent up sht i have from years ago, I really enoy cracking a beer, it just gives me so much damn relief from things i've had to deal with