TOPIC: "I Don't Do A.A."
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
Murrill--
The critique sessions were never formal, but if you expressed doubt or admitted to wanting to use, someone would approach you after the meeting to explain that such talk does not have a place in a meeting where experience, strength, and hope are to be shared. They called that living in the problem rather than the solution. To me, though, it just seemed like being honest.
I tried to be more upbeat and positive, but as time went on it got harder and harder.
I think any program of recovery has to deal with the negative feelings that come with addiction as well as the positive ones. I did hear a lot about how everyone's life was better since they were in the program and doing the steps. But I think that I did not need salesmanship to convince me--I was already there. I needed a little handholding, maybe some encouragement. Looking back, I see that I needed someone (or maybe a bunch of someones) to talk to me, listen to my experience, share theirs--not talking to a roomful of people but me individually.
Eventually, I found a good therapist and that has been a big help. My recovery is built on the principles of rigorous honesty, connection to something larger than myself, ongoing self examination, and service to others. But I developed this through a relationship with my therapist. It seems to me similar to what one is supposed to arrive at through the steps, but reading a book, hearing speeches at meetings, and leaving weekly check-ins on my sponsor's voicemail were not enough to get me there. I needed another human to do it.
The critique sessions were never formal, but if you expressed doubt or admitted to wanting to use, someone would approach you after the meeting to explain that such talk does not have a place in a meeting where experience, strength, and hope are to be shared. They called that living in the problem rather than the solution. To me, though, it just seemed like being honest.
I tried to be more upbeat and positive, but as time went on it got harder and harder.
I think any program of recovery has to deal with the negative feelings that come with addiction as well as the positive ones. I did hear a lot about how everyone's life was better since they were in the program and doing the steps. But I think that I did not need salesmanship to convince me--I was already there. I needed a little handholding, maybe some encouragement. Looking back, I see that I needed someone (or maybe a bunch of someones) to talk to me, listen to my experience, share theirs--not talking to a roomful of people but me individually.
Eventually, I found a good therapist and that has been a big help. My recovery is built on the principles of rigorous honesty, connection to something larger than myself, ongoing self examination, and service to others. But I developed this through a relationship with my therapist. It seems to me similar to what one is supposed to arrive at through the steps, but reading a book, hearing speeches at meetings, and leaving weekly check-ins on my sponsor's voicemail were not enough to get me there. I needed another human to do it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 38
I enjoy reading others views and opinions as i am learning to be tolerant, kind, and loving to all other people. I work the program of "AA" because it works for me. Whatever works for someone else is just as awesome in my opinon. If you can keep from the drink then congrats!! However i have relapsed in the past on my journey through sobriety so i KNOW the only thing that works for me is working all 12 steps in the program of AA and keeping a consious contact with my HIGHER power. Im thankful for those rooms and the fellowship. I also have to keep an open mind. If i let my old judgemental ways creep back up then im in trouble of another drink. Thank you all for giving me a chance to practice my new way of life =)
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by zbear23
Like baking a cake....if I change the recipe, the result may not be so awfully good.<G>
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
I get frustrated by people who aren't even willing to give AA a shot, mostly just because it's a program that has worked for so many people; I don't know why you wouldn't want to go to a few meetings and see if it works for you or not. To automatically say no without even giving it a fair shake seems a little arrogant at best, or at worst an excuse to keep drinking.
It seems that 90% of people that dismiss AA right off the bat do so simply because of their preconceived notions without actually giving the program a shot. That's the main thing I'm always trying to communicate: it may or may not be helpful for you but at least try a few meetings and see if it's something you would find helpful or not. I never have bought into the "AA is the only way" mindset, and the more time I spend in recovery the more I am beginning to see that there are many different paths to recovery.
It seems that 90% of people that dismiss AA right off the bat do so simply because of their preconceived notions without actually giving the program a shot. That's the main thing I'm always trying to communicate: it may or may not be helpful for you but at least try a few meetings and see if it's something you would find helpful or not. I never have bought into the "AA is the only way" mindset, and the more time I spend in recovery the more I am beginning to see that there are many different paths to recovery.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by eJoshua 
I get frustrated by people who aren't even willing to give AA a shot, mostly just because it's a program that has worked for so many people; I don't know why you wouldn't want to go to a few meetings and see if it works for you or not. To automatically say no without even giving it a fair shake seems a little arrogant at best, or at worst an excuse to keep drinking.
It seems that 90% of people that dismiss AA right off the bat do so simply because of their preconceived notions without actually giving the program a shot. That's the main thing I'm always trying to communicate: it may or may not be helpful for you but at least try a few meetings and see if it's something you would find helpful or not. I never have bought into the "AA is the only way" mindset, and the more time I spend in recovery the more I am beginning to see that there are many different paths to recovery.
It seems that 90% of people that dismiss AA right off the bat do so simply because of their preconceived notions without actually giving the program a shot. That's the main thing I'm always trying to communicate: it may or may not be helpful for you but at least try a few meetings and see if it's something you would find helpful or not. I never have bought into the "AA is the only way" mindset, and the more time I spend in recovery the more I am beginning to see that there are many different paths to recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by eJoshua
I get frustrated by people who aren't even willing to give AA a shot, mostly just because it's a program that has worked for so many people; I don't know why you wouldn't want to go to a few meetings and see if it works for you or not. To automatically say no without even giving it a fair shake seems a little arrogant at best...
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique
Same reason you aren't likely to give Islam a fair shake and see if it works for you, even though it works for so many people (~ 1.57 billion). Why don't you go to a few services and keep an open mind, eJoshua? Maybe try a few different mosques if the first 250 don't work out for you? To automatically say "no" without giving Islam a fair shake seems a little... how did you put it?
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Originally Posted by onlythetruth
I agree that folks who want to quit drinking should check out AA as one of the options available to them. They should also check out SMART Recovery, read up on AVRT/Rational Recovery, read Allen Carr's book, educate themselves about craving-reduction medications and the Sinclair method--they should know that they have options and what those options are.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
I thought we were about support on SR not a pissing contest, if you're sober, want to be sober or someday want to be sober here is SR its about Sober Recovery however we find it. I guess this the kind of thread that makes me not like this kind of thread. Love peace and understanding.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Ok, I think it's time to draw the curtain on this one guys.
There's a lot of newcomers out there who'll be glad of this level of interest and passion.
Happy 2012, and peace love and happiness to everyone - no matter how we may get there
D
There's a lot of newcomers out there who'll be glad of this level of interest and passion.
Happy 2012, and peace love and happiness to everyone - no matter how we may get there
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
