foodie1

Then count me out! This afternoon I went to visit my husband at the restaurant where he works and get some tea. There was some yelling and banging in the gambling room (we were sitting in the bar {bars don't typically bother me}) and out stumbles this lady, drunk off her a** ...and I realize it's somebody I know from meetings. I don't know her know her, just know her to see her.

My heart just sunk. This is a first for me, I guess because I'm still new. Well, that, and I don't frequent bars anymore. She didn't recognize me at first but I think she did after awhile. My husband ended up calling a cab for her and he had to pick her up and put her in it. I just feel so bad, like I was supposed to do something. But she was so totally wasted. And I was only on a 10 minute break from work. I got all paranoid wondering how much she'd had to drink, was it safe for her to be alone, would she make it home, did she have someone to call who'd be available...I could go on, I'm a total worry-wart. I realize she's a big girl and can take care of herself, but it still threw me for a loop.

I'm thinking of how alert and well-spoken she is at meetings, the light in her eyes, her excitement at starting her new life and her support of those around her. And then I think of the shell I saw today, she couldn't stand, she couldn't speak. I do not revel in other's unhappiness, but I am grateful for the opportunity to see first-hand what I will do if I think I can pick up just one drink.

Sapling

It's part of the journey...I've seen it a lot. They always say it doesn't get any better when we go back out. You just have to learn that sometimes from other peoples misfortune...It's terribly sad to see.

SomethingBetter

Yea, it’s sad to watch others that you know want to be free from that but all we can do is support them, we can’t live their lives for them.

I’ve relapsed so many times I can’t count them, it feels like I’ve got it licked this time and that is bad news, feeling confident is a good thing most times but to prevent a relapse I try and think about what would happen if I had just one.

If I had just one to take off the stress, if I had just one with friends, if I had just one because I am upset, in a good mood, mad at the world or just need a drink…

I’d be right back there where she was, even though I feel like I can finally drink just one and really not want another one… I will just pass and keep on keeping sober so I can avoid the inevitable drunkenness that would follow just one.

DisplacedGRITS

A sobering experience (if you pardon the terrible pun). I've felt the same just watching strangers at bars and concerts. I went to a concert a few months ago and this wasted guy kept yelling at the rapper (mc chris) and srukenly stumbling into me constantly. His "handler" looks absolutel exasperated. I'm so glad I was stone cold sober and it kept me from heading to the bar and grabing a couple of drinks myself.

Sapling

People die...So we can stay alive....It's a tragic reality.

Frankie12

I hope that this is not her regular behaviour between "meetings", because if it is... well... I don't know what to say.

EmeraldRose

I guess it would depend on how sober she has been and why she felt the initial urge to drink. Where she is in the steps. Some folks that go to AA haven't actually quit. They talk the talk but really struggle with the one day at a time logic. If you don't really know her well I would just assume that she's fighting her own battles, following her own path and was placed in your path for a reason. Take this as a lesson and hopefully she comes back to the meeting -hopefully with an explanation. Not much anyone can do...she has to want to quit for good on her own. Sad but true.

sugarbear1

This time of year is difficult. You saw the light in her eyes. That doesn't usually happen between meetings when drinking....my eyes were raw & dead when I drank....

Something your Higher Power wanted you to see.

But, for the Grace of my Higher Power....

foodie1

Sapling, that seems like a cruel thing to say. Correct me if I'm misunderstanding you.

She's on her own journey, you guys are right, and it's not my responsibility. Def something my HP wanted me to see. I'll just continue to pray for her (well, for all of us really) and be grateful for all of this collective wisdom and caring.

Sapling

It's a cruel disease...I know it was never nice to me. It wanted me dead...Still does. I learn from what I see...Anything to keep me sober...One more day.

Shining~Again

I understand the worrywart bit myself. Not sure how to not worry about another human being, that's a pretty basic feeling. Compassion is too.
I'm thinking this was something you were meant to see and hopefully it did you some good, not just the bad (worrying, bad visual, scary to see someone wasted).

She might suprise you and get that light back in her eyes. I know that I've seen more people in dire straights this holiday season than ever before. Seriously...I'm going to be happy for everyone when it's' Jan 2. :-)
best to you!

StPeteGrad

I got to welcome back a friend into AA on Monday. He apparently needed to do some more "research" and ended up in treatment.

I was sad to see him go back out and I'm glad to have him back.

Either way, I didn't need to drink over it.

Zebra1275

I feel badly for her, but I'm sure it was a powerful sight for you to witness.

Remember the moment, that could be you (or me) someday if we pick up just one drink.

sugarbear1

If she returns to a meeting, reach out to her...

ulverston

just got back from a friends house.46 yrs old ,lives with parents,lost everything worth living for...total mess .
had to call the cops ..he threatened suicide.. they took him to hospital
he's drinking 40 0z of vodka daily plus loads of valium.
sometimes you just gotta let go ..nothing i or anyone one else can do for him.
mum just called , the hospital is sending him home, how sick do you have to be before they will help ...maybe the governments should spend their money on doctors and rehabs and longterm care facilities ,instead of weapons??
there are sooooooo many people in need of serious help.
but im so thankful that i am sober ..there but for the grace of GOD go i