artsoul

I'm so glad you posted, ov....... don't hesitate to go to the ER if things get bad - that's what they're there for.

Alcohol broke me, too. I had to admit defeat and lay down my arms. It's feels horrible at the time, but it's the best thing we can do for ourselves. It's OK to ask for help - people call 911 for much less.

Stay close - we're here.

CaiHong

Hi Ovrock,
If I may suggest staying close to the forum, resting if you can, eat whatever watch whatever anything you like. Stay strong.
Treat yourself like a beloved invalid. Nurture yourself. You know the kind of thing, warm slippers, hot cocoa.

Keep posting
CaiHong

jocata

ovrock, I had those scary dreams also when I came down from a bender years ago. I also had them while detoxing from oxycontin. They can be very scary. You did the right thing by making an appointment. Tell them everything and don't be ashamed. They can help you get better. It will get better if you stick with it and be honest. It may seem hopeless right now, but by taking action you will start to feel better and you will find that glimmer of hope that is so neccesary for us to recover. We are all here for you. Keep in touch.
God bless.

InsertNameHere

Hey OV even though everyone here has let you know you are not alone I figured I would give you my two cents and best wishes as well. Im having to handel this alone as well if people knew how much I drank then they would think that I have a problem but I keep it all in house. I am on day 6 now and my last weekend binge is a blur that I greatly regret I remember the next Monday pretty clearly though. I felt like I was going to explode and implode at the same time and generally like the the sky was falling. I am glad to hear that you are getting help. Stick with it and listen to the people here that know better than my newbie butt.

INH

ovrock

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all for the support you lent me this past couple days... This has by far been my worst ever withdrawal after a binge. I am leaving home in about 30mins to go do a gig. Will be out until 5:00pm my time atleast. I will try to keep connected with my blackberry.

The good news is, I got better sleep last night, not great, but better. I still feel a bit wobbly and emotional. Which can be a good thing because I could never even think about drinking when I am like this .

Thank you all again, and keep me in your prayers and thoughts, as much as I will for you.

ovrock

I am back in the safety of my home... PHEW, what a day, I had every excuse to drink today... Thankfully my body said no. It was frustration from the time I stepped out of my house....

I am really tired, so going to have a bath and a little nap before dinner and SR...

See you guys later....

Dee74

no excuse is good enough ovrock
glad you made it through

D

Hevyn

You never have to go through that again, ovrock. Each day will find you a little bit stronger than the last, until the bad times are just a dim memory.

SoCalDude

I feel ya, my problem is that the safety net of my home IS my problem, haha.. I don't like to go anywhere when I drink, I'm kind of a homebody.. so I've been forcing myself to go out, problem is, all of my social circles are social drinkers..

DanielR9

I was there 2 and i found i had to go to a rehab toeliminate the temptation of any alcohol or drugs. It was there that the fog lifted for me and i just go day by day now.
Hope this helps

ovrock

I hear ya

ovrock

That's where we differ. I hardly EVER have alcohol in my house. Only for the holidays, or if wifey and I were having some social event. I always found drinking at home boring... Probably that in itself says alot.

CaiHong

Ovrock

I know what you mean, I f I had a really bad hangover, which surprisingly was not often, mores the pity, perhaps I wouldn't have drank ro much, I usually didn't feel feel like another drink until I started to feel bette,r then the cycle would begin again.

Stay strong
CaiHong

ovrock

I used to smoke, but was NOT a normal smoker. Could not smoke in the morning before I ate. My first cigarette got me feeling iffy for minutes. Sometimes I will be home and forgot I even smoke until I saw someone smoke on TV. My wife and I stopped smoking cold turkey the night after our wedding.. That was seven years ago...

The same pattern with alcohol. Until recently, I couldn't drink in the morning. It would spoil my day. I would feel sick by lunchtime. My binges usually start after a gig. Let's say I get drunk on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday will be the really bad days... As my tolerance for alcohol grew, my habit worsened. I have NO control when I start....

ulverston

thats all par for the course ov...really really horrible dreams.
the booze messes the mind up bad....
but it will clear in a couple of days.
you are feeling the first nip of the wringer of alcoholism...it WILL get an awful lot worse than this if you don't get help..
you cannot do this alone,this is a real disease ,,one of the very worst.
we are all here for you..we can help.
and now that you are reaching out for physical help as well as cyber things will improve dramatically for you

ovrock

I am much better tonight than I have been all week, even though I had a awful day... Last night's sleep was better than previous nights, though nothing to sing about. I just hope I get a full night's rest tonight. I really want to clean the mess I made in this house tomorrow.

As for reaching out for physical help. I should have done it a looooooooong time ago when I admitted I am an alcoholic. I allowed ignorant people to convince me that I was ok... I know my potential when I am sober. I've also seen the results of my binges... Thank you for your support...

desertsong

With you, ovrock. I recently relapsed myself and the guilt, shame and disgust I felt about myself was almost unbearable. I went from being a fully functioning, alert, healthy happy person right back to being in a full-on alcoholic daze 24/7. I swore I would never go back there, but I did. There is no guilt or shame in it though, my friend ... we have a disease and it's not our fault. But we CAN overcome it. Headed back to sobriety myself on New Years' Eve. Seems like a fitting time to do it. You CAN do it and you will.

Pete55

Thanks for posting ovrock, it reminds me of how I was and how many of us were to, the similarities.
I learnt something new again today from old timers who have years experience living sober.
There is a step before all steps, that step is Surrender.
Surrendering to alcohol is not a weakness, it is a show of strength.

In my experience I add the word "respect of alcohol", meaning I respect the fact that chemically it affects me differently than how it may affect others. If I know this to be fact, then that is the "Surrender" I focus on.

The first few days or weeks without alcohol and the people around you who drink may be hard.
Look for fellowship of some sort with like minded recovered alcoholics who have been through what you are going through now, remained sober.
We all have our stories of recovery.

Keep going, just don't pick up that first drink today no matter what.

langkah

Bad spot, glad you're feeling better.

version2

I love this. That feels like it is worth fighting for.