When will it end?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: IL now
Posts: 218
Congrats on taking your next step.. It's hard for me to believe I actually made it through Christmas without a drink.. I'm still chugging along (no pun intended), but it literally is harder every day.. the next few weeks will be the worst, when I'm alone while family goes back to the west coast..
I'm going to double up my meetings for the first week, just keep on track and moving forward. You can do it too ovrock... you've GOT to get some different friends, I would venture to say it wasn't your decision alone to get you drinking.. though, it can be your decision alone once you're strong enough, to not drink.. Keep us up to date, we're all here for you.
I'm going to double up my meetings for the first week, just keep on track and moving forward. You can do it too ovrock... you've GOT to get some different friends, I would venture to say it wasn't your decision alone to get you drinking.. though, it can be your decision alone once you're strong enough, to not drink.. Keep us up to date, we're all here for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: VG, BVI
Posts: 294
Originally Posted by SoCalDude 
Congrats on taking your next step.. It's hard for me to believe I actually made it through Christmas without a drink.. I'm still chugging along (no pun intended), but it literally is harder every day.. the next few weeks will be the worst, when I'm alone while family goes back to the west coast..
I'm going to double up my meetings for the first week, just keep on track and moving forward. You can do it too ovrock... you've GOT to get some different friends, I would venture to say it wasn't your decision alone to get you drinking.. though, it can be your decision alone once you're strong enough, to not drink.. Keep us up to date, we're all here for you.
I'm going to double up my meetings for the first week, just keep on track and moving forward. You can do it too ovrock... you've GOT to get some different friends, I would venture to say it wasn't your decision alone to get you drinking.. though, it can be your decision alone once you're strong enough, to not drink.. Keep us up to date, we're all here for you.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Just logging on OV. Now I know why you weren't back on the other thread. I am so glad you reached out and made that appointment with the treatment center. Don't back out, later you will realize that was the best thing you could have done. I had to do the same. I couldn't even quit for a day at the end. Once I decided that I had to quit or die from it, I found an in hospital detox and follow on rehab, then used AA form the first three months, counseling, my Docs, the VA you name it. I still had to do the work and not feel sorry for my loss of alcohol. But that detox gave me the jump start I needed so desperately. I took it from there and that wasn't from strength, but the opposite. It was the first time I could not handle a problem myself, and the problem was myself!
I know exactly how you feel, and if you aren't relieved to finally get out of the shadows and back into the sunlight you soon will be. Oh a month or six is soon trust me. If you are working on sobriety it works on you too.
I couldn't do it alone either, even with my family and friends all around me, I was alone too. Hang in there my friend, you just might be desperate enough like me, to make it now.
I know exactly how you feel, and if you aren't relieved to finally get out of the shadows and back into the sunlight you soon will be. Oh a month or six is soon trust me. If you are working on sobriety it works on you too.
I couldn't do it alone either, even with my family and friends all around me, I was alone too. Hang in there my friend, you just might be desperate enough like me, to make it now.
You can do it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: VG, BVI
Posts: 294
Thanks so much for the support.
Itchy after that thread I feel as if I let you all down.
I got two hrs sleep, but I still feel wobbly and disoriented. I cannot seem to beat the bad dreams. It's stressing me out. Some of my dreams are really dark and scary..
Itchy after that thread I feel as if I let you all down.
I got two hrs sleep, but I still feel wobbly and disoriented. I cannot seem to beat the bad dreams. It's stressing me out. Some of my dreams are really dark and scary..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 92
Hang in there
Ovrock, you haven't let anyone down. You are finding your way - as only you can.
I feel for you having a relapse. I went there on day 10. And I planned to do it. Felt like a fool afterwards. What was I thinking?
I know now that alcohol makes me stupid. Makes me make bad decisions. Don't get me wrong - I made those decisions but they were dumb.
So glad you are getting some help. No one should have to do this alone. and whatever tools it takes, we'll use them all.
Thinking of you.
I feel for you having a relapse. I went there on day 10. And I planned to do it. Felt like a fool afterwards. What was I thinking?
I know now that alcohol makes me stupid. Makes me make bad decisions. Don't get me wrong - I made those decisions but they were dumb.
So glad you are getting some help. No one should have to do this alone. and whatever tools it takes, we'll use them all.
Thinking of you.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
No way bud, you only let yourself down. I don't have to go through the hangover and detox all over again. I am fine but concerned for you and sorry you are putting yourself through it all again. If I let myself down that would be different. But we can be here for you as long as we don't, and that's a good thing. 
But you have a new plan and it sounds terrific! I am glad you didn't post drunk as we usually regret those kinds of activities while drinking. SoCal is hanging still and going through the stages to getting over it. Don't ever worry about me here as long as you are trying and keep getting up you can make it too. I already did remember? So I am doing fine. And am here for you if you'd like. And you are still in the class of December 2011!
But you have a new plan and it sounds terrific! I am glad you didn't post drunk as we usually regret those kinds of activities while drinking. SoCal is hanging still and going through the stages to getting over it. Don't ever worry about me here as long as you are trying and keep getting up you can make it too. I already did remember? So I am doing fine. And am here for you if you'd like. And you are still in the class of December 2011!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 34
One thing that has helped me so far (And I hope it continues) is I have spent time convincing myself that I have developed an allergy to Alcohol. Just as any other allergen causes an allergic reaction. It eventually became severe allergic reactions. Everything else I tried failed.
So I don't ingest that allergen any more than I would any other food I was allergic to. I've even told others that I've developed an allergy to alcohol. They tend to not try to force a drink on me that way.
Give it a try, Can't hurt.
So I don't ingest that allergen any more than I would any other food I was allergic to. I've even told others that I've developed an allergy to alcohol. They tend to not try to force a drink on me that way.
Give it a try, Can't hurt.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: VG, BVI
Posts: 294
Originally Posted by Itchy
No way bud, you only let yourself down. I don't have to go through the hangover and detox all over again. I am fine but concerned for you and sorry you are putting yourself through it all again. If I let myself down that would be different. But we can be here for you as long as we don't, and that's a good thing.
But you have a new plan and it sounds terrific! I am glad you didn't post drunk as we usually regret those kinds of activities while drinking. SoCal is hanging still and going through the stages to getting over it. Don't ever worry about me here as long as you are trying and keep getting up you can make it too. I already did remember? So I am doing fine. And am here for you if you'd like. And you are still in the class of December 2011!
But you have a new plan and it sounds terrific! I am glad you didn't post drunk as we usually regret those kinds of activities while drinking. SoCal is hanging still and going through the stages to getting over it. Don't ever worry about me here as long as you are trying and keep getting up you can make it too. I already did remember? So I am doing fine. And am here for you if you'd like. And you are still in the class of December 2011!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi ovrock
you haven't let me down - I've been where you are - including the scary bits and just wanting to be normal again.
stopping the drink and making that appointment are great steps in that direction.
Take care of yourself today and hang around here as much as you need to
D
you haven't let me down - I've been where you are - including the scary bits and just wanting to be normal again.
stopping the drink and making that appointment are great steps in that direction.
Take care of yourself today and hang around here as much as you need to
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Hi ovrock. I'm so sorry you're hurting. I did that to myself so many times. My last scary binge was over the holidays 4 yrs. ago, and I felt similar to how you do right now. That was the end for me - I made it out of hell and never picked up again. Maybe this is a good thing - you're more determined than ever to reclaim your life. This can be the last time you feel this way. We know you can kick the poison out of your life and start again.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by ovrock
If there was ever a hell, this must be it..
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Ovrock,
We all understand what you are going through, you just reminded me how bad it is, that alcoholic depression, shame, anxiety. Good on you for getting on to the treatment centre, grabbing the bull by the horns. When do you start treatment?
You will be fine, this will pass.
CaiHong
We all understand what you are going through, you just reminded me how bad it is, that alcoholic depression, shame, anxiety. Good on you for getting on to the treatment centre, grabbing the bull by the horns. When do you start treatment?
You will be fine, this will pass.
CaiHong
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: VG, BVI
Posts: 294
Originally Posted by CaiHong
Hi Ovrock,
We all understand what you are going through, you just reminded me how bad it is, that alcoholic depression, shame, anxiety. Good on you for getting on to the treatment centre, grabbing the bull by the horns. When do you start treatment?
You will be fine, this will pass.
CaiHong
We all understand what you are going through, you just reminded me how bad it is, that alcoholic depression, shame, anxiety. Good on you for getting on to the treatment centre, grabbing the bull by the horns. When do you start treatment?
You will be fine, this will pass.
CaiHong
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
OV,
Just get yourself some sober rest and you will start to feel better. Like Dee said whatever it takes you will find that your family will benefit as well as you. The important thing is that you are getting help. You are no worse than I was, I am just a little ahead of you in sobriety. You can do this.
Just get yourself some sober rest and you will start to feel better. Like Dee said whatever it takes you will find that your family will benefit as well as you. The important thing is that you are getting help. You are no worse than I was, I am just a little ahead of you in sobriety. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
No apologies for my warped sense of humor, that's how it was for me to.
Drinking warps perception.
Had an extreme emotional beating when I was in that similar place you posted about, beyond tears, no time to cry when sanity was threatened.
That's how I felt to, humiliated, "sorry" just did not cut the mustard anymore.
Grateful you posted what happened.
A reminder many of us was at that desperate circumstance where mercy was the only option then found recovery, I pray and hope you do to.
Please come back and tells us how you are recovering to.
Drinking warps perception.
Had an extreme emotional beating when I was in that similar place you posted about, beyond tears, no time to cry when sanity was threatened.
That's how I felt to, humiliated, "sorry" just did not cut the mustard anymore.
Grateful you posted what happened.
A reminder many of us was at that desperate circumstance where mercy was the only option then found recovery, I pray and hope you do to.
Please come back and tells us how you are recovering to.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
