Feeling a bit hopeless
 

Anyone else out there that's relapsed a bunch of times? I keep joining classes on here bc I truly want to get sober but having trouble getting past a week or month. I've tried SMART and some AA. I just would really appreciate any advice. I sit here tonight with a 6pck of beer feeling lost and almost like I should just give up and accept the fact I drink but the other part of me still wants to fight bc the sober time I've had in the past I truly enjoyed.

Hi. I had 10 years sobriety and relapsed about 6 years ago and I've been on that roller coaster since. I decided to stop on 12/17 and just accepted that I CAN'T drink. That could be your option too, instead of accepting that you drink. We're all here to support you. Don't give up on yourself my friend.

BoozeFree,

Believe in yourself that you can do this.

You need a lot of motivation to stop drinking and to recover and getting rid of the beer would be a good start. I think it's great that you've tried Smart and AA. Take action every day to not drink and to make changes in your life to help you on that path.

You can recover. :)

Boozefree,
I don't have any problems with drinking. I have a problem stopping. So I had to quit for good.

Not for a while. Not to wait until after my liver was going South. Not waiting until I lost my family. Not waiting until I was in jail or dead or killed someone else driving drunk.

Everyone is up the river (De Nile river) until their own personal bottom has been reached. It sounds like you may have hit your bottom for you. Maybe not. That is for you to decide. The label is irrelevant.

For me dealing without drinking "long term" isn't quite accurate. In my mind, I have closed the door on that other life with alcohol. Permanently, with the help of my family and friends here and in the offline world. Permanently is good! Alcohol abuse? Been there, seen it, done it, got the T-shirt and the chips . . . time to move on, with a smile on my face and a light heart. I consider myself recovered now. BECAUSE I know I am one drink, and one smoke, away from being enslaved again. And as in all cases, in this case too, Freedom Isn't Free. It cost me my drinking, a cheap price to pay, to stop being cheap myself.

Your sober self has to want to beat out your drinking self.
I struggled with booze for years...not until I really realized...I mean, really really understood that my life would be so much better without the booze was I able to put it down -for good. I had had enough. Just enough. It was over. I just couldn't tolerate myself or my life anymore with booze. Done...over...no more.
The only advice I can give is thru my own experience. Everyone has to fight their own battle and follow their own journey. All I can say is I like seeing my journey with clarity.
Wishing you peace amd strength.

I'm a repeat relapser. Right now, I try to keep physical keepsakes on me (my coins, notes, etc) so when I'm tempted, I can take them out and stop romaticizing how I feel when I drink. If you're on meds, stay on them. Therapy can help as well. Work it hour by hour. Do things that give you a feeling of self worth. Volunteering can be very helpful. Giving of yourself can give you a great feeling of satisfaction that you may be trying to get from alcohol. It lasts longer and dosen't give you a hangover or withdrawls! Don't keep your pain to yourself. Find somewhere where you can share your frustrations and issues. Don't feel that you're putting too much on a group that supports you. Many people in recovery gain strength from helping others. Hoarding your problems deprives others from the opportunity to help you and through that help themselves.

Booze, I'm fully willing to help you but I think I'm going to have a better time understanding you in a private environment so I sent you a PM.

You have choices; pick a program & make a decision to commit to one. You know there's always a new bottom to hit.

You can stay stopped!

Oh yea...that's me. Tried to get sober time and time and time and time....lots of times.

One day the times again stopped. It happened because I did not stop giving upon my ability to stop one day.

Keep at stopping and you will find one day, when you least expected you have stopped. Its a fine day when it happens and you know what? It can happen when you lest expect it. So keep at it!

I believe you can do it BF - but you have to believe that too :)

If you feel you've done Snart and AA and they're not for you - there's other things to try - Rational Recovery, Women for Sobriety, if you're christian, there's things like Celebrate Recovery...there's addiction counselling, and of course there's inpatient and outpatient rehab.

If you've tried any of those before you can always revisit them again - you may be more receptive now?

never give up BF :)

D

You can do it BoozeFree - pour out whatever you have and start right now.

I guess it's all relative, BF, because I look at you and think, "Wow, I wish I had been smart enough to address my alcoholism at her age." Keep at it. It only has to click once, and you'll be on your way.

i used to bang my head against the wall trying to figure out why i kept relapsing and honestly i dont know what changed....i do remember at the last bit of my using coming to the conclusion that it all boiled down to making a choice. my sponser once told me (and i hated her for it) to either **** or get off the pot. eaiser said then done, she also told me to never give up on yourself

Not yet for me...I started in the AA program July 1st and haven't had a drink since...Made it through Christmas without really thinking about drinking...No obsession for it. That's a miracle for me...I don't know anything about SMART......I do know with an honest effort and a sincere desire to stop drinking for good...AA works...For me and millions of other people. You say you've tried some AA....Does that mean you read the Big Book??...Went to a meeting or two? I know you are asking for advice...I guess I'd just like to know what trying "some AA" is before I can really offer you any of my experience with it.

From what I've heard you have to want to be sober more than anything else. It needs to be your number one priority. You need be to be willing to go to any lengths to maintain it. I'm doing the same dance and wouldn't it just be easier to be done with it once and for all? I wish you the strength to make what you earnestly desire out of your life and this new year.

Exactly...You can replace the words "be sober" with "live life" and it works just fine. We alcoholics are a strange breed...We know what it is doing to us..How we feel about ourselves...About others...We know we are hurting everyone around us....How we feel about life...We know it's killing us...And yet we continue to abuse it. Because it has it's claws in us so bad...We can't even see it anymore. We dance as you say...to continue destroying our lives. When is the time for the last dance??...When the music's over.

Yeah, I've felt hopeless too.

Hopeful is much more helpful though.

AA, reading some autobiographies about others journeys with adiction and some tips from AVERT have helped me since May. I've not been perfect but also I found counting days to be counter productive in my sobriety. Hope this helps.

Thank you everyone for your replies. Today I woke up and prayed for something to change. I have no beer left in my house and will not buy any today. I am happy I have another chance at this. I have to make it work.

BF - I felt hopeless too and at times wondered if I should just throw in the towel and continue on drinking ... but it was killing me physically, emotionally, and spiritually, so I kept on trying, trying and trying again to get my life back.

Every time I came crawling back to SR people would ask me "What are you going to do differently this time?"

Lord knows I tried everything different I could think of...AA, acupuncture, books, praying, diet, vitimins etc. etc., and I just kept adding to my 'toolbox' with each relapse and each attempt at recovery.

My last 'slip' was a 5 day bender back in July. On the 5th day I woke and drank the 8 beers left in the fridge -then stumbled out the door to go buy smokes and more beer.

It was a holiday weekend and people were out walking their dogs, riding bikes, smiling, laughing and enjoying the beautiful sunny summer weather.

I didn't even feel like a member of the same species. I was a shaky, unshaven basket case who hadn't eaten in days. I was on a different planet.
Something just hit me in my depressed state that day...I realized I could not continue that way.

I wanted out.

Havent drank since and its gonna be 5 months next weekend.

If I can do it...
You can too.

Don't ever give up my friend.