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-   -   Hey all- torture (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/244214-hey-all-torture.html)

dedubya 12-24-2011 08:07 AM

Hey all- torture
 
Benzo withdrawals are through the roof. I feel like I am not myself. I am going to win this. My body is separate from me. Crazy stuff. I am strong and will be ok. my ears are screaming. I will be fine.
dub

bozboz 12-24-2011 09:55 AM

You can do this. I know it's BEYOND BRUTAL, but it can be done. From what I have seen in this and your other posts, I know you have what it takes to get through it. :)

(By the way, I LOVE your avatar. One of the best movies ever.)

Itchy 12-24-2011 11:45 AM

You are in my thoughts. I am rooting for you!

Mark75 12-24-2011 11:59 AM

Nice to see you dub. Hang in there buddy, keep posting. Merry Christmas.

Maybe some nice herbal tea, a long walk, some chill-out (xmas) music... I saw somewhere that you tapered off... good, but get some medical help if it gets too bad.

freshstart57 12-24-2011 12:09 PM

I've never done that wd, dedubya, and I am happy to say I hope I never will after reading your posts. You sound like just the person for the job, tho, you've got what it takes to stand still while this storm blows around and through you, on its way back to Hell. I am looking forward to your report soon where you tell us that you are now on the upside. I hope it's soon.

dedubya 12-24-2011 01:30 PM

Merry Christmas everyone
I am still struggling but I have a lot of fight in me. Appreciate you so much. Want this to be over.
Dub

Hevyn 12-24-2011 01:31 PM

So glad to see you again, dub. We have faith in you.

dedubya 12-24-2011 01:37 PM

i just wisn i have faith in myself. If i could contribute one thing to this cool forum,DONT EVER TAKE benzos. Ive taken everyhing on the planet and this is by far the worst. My ears are still screaming.
Dub

Hevyn 12-24-2011 01:39 PM

You must have faith that you can kick this - or you wouldn't be reaching out, dub. This can be the last visit to hell for you.

dedubya 12-24-2011 01:49 PM

Think Im short circuit or some thing. i will stop bothering you all 9n Christmas.

Hevyn 12-24-2011 02:02 PM

How can it be a bother, we're all in this together. Don't lose heart.

Itchy 12-24-2011 02:34 PM

I have faith in you. I have faith you will lick this thing if you dare just love yourself enough. Then as you go sober and clean, you can be here for all the other benzo addicts and be there for them with just a little of your faith in yourself shared as faith in them. I agree that you can contribute that one thing to this cool forum as you put it. See, you already have. Next? Make it through so that you can show that it CAN be done, and maybe show a little light at the end of the tunnel for another.

Many here are alone on this Holiday. I am not, but I am sitting here while my SH is over setting up for tomorrow. So how can you even think that you are bothering us??
:lmao

I am here because I want to be. Just like you bud.

Merry Christmas

jocata 12-24-2011 07:09 PM

I know what you are going thru friend. Been there with benzos and opiates. It is a living hell, but you can do it. Keep posting and share what you are feeling. Go to the ER if you have to. If I can do it, anyone can. Stay strong.
God bless.

MemphisBlues 12-24-2011 07:11 PM

Dub...You have read what could be in store. If you have the resources I strongly urge you to have someone get you to the ER. Blood pressure could be the reason your ears are roaring.

I had the same thing, and things didn't get better. I had to go to the ER five times, blood pressure and heart rate through the roof, didn't sleep for a week, and ended up in the hospital for 10 days, the first three I still don't remember.

I know this could scare you, and maybe that's what I am trying to do. I was on a much higher dose for several years, and we are all different.

Are you still having the auditory hallucinations? Are you alone?

I know you are determined to get sober, and the paradox to this is that most experts suggest switching to Valium under a doctor's care and tapering that amount down slowly.

Please, I know it's Christmas, but the best place for you may indeed be in the hospital.

This is nothing to play with. I am most disturbed that, if I recall correctly, you went through a supervised detox? To me, that screams that whatever detox facility you were at doesn't understand the unique complexities of benzo withdrawal.

dedubya 12-24-2011 07:47 PM

Thanks Friends. I am still not right. Shaking alot. Trying to be 'normal' for Christmas. Oh well. I know some of you have been down this road. I am completely shaking and out of my head- it will pass. Sorry for this.
dub

dedubya 12-24-2011 08:01 PM

So sorry for posting this today. I am in a whirlwind of feelings. Have a great night and Christmas. You all keep me going. Its kind of tough/
dub

Itchy 12-24-2011 08:06 PM

Don't worry dub,
Yes we all have been there too and know how scary flaky it feels. We are here.

Zencat 12-24-2011 08:11 PM

Detox is fun. You will even out soon enough. Let this time sink in deeply. Experience all the horrific symptoms. Notice every creeping bone, tightening muscle. cramping leg, upset bowl, jiddered every last nerve, about to freak the be jebuss flying out of every bone nerve out. Feel it every slimy bit all.

Just get so sick and some more.

I wish you the very worst, then get better bro.
Love you Dude. Keep doing the good deal.

24hrsAday 12-24-2011 08:16 PM

Merry Christmas Dub.. hoping that 2012 turns out to be a GREAT year for you Bro!

Dee74 12-25-2011 01:00 AM

Wishing you the best - I know you're really resistant to the idea but man, the best Christmas present you could give yourself right now is to look for professional help.

I hope you will, Dub :)

Best wishes,
D


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