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-   -   Here I go again (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/244131-here-i-go-again.html)

elm80 12-23-2011 07:56 AM

Here I go again
 
Hi everyone. My name is Emily and i'm 31. I go to school for mental health counseling and work in an office full time. I appear to be very well-rounded and put together, which is how i like it. Unfortunatly, that's not true. I had a little over two years clean when I started drinking again in June of 2010. I stopped drinking in December of that same year but have been stealing my girlfriends prescription meds on and off since then. The clarity and confidence I once had is gone and I don't know how to get it back. I'm ashamed of myself. This is my first time posting and it's making me very uncomfortable, but i'm thankful to have this outlet. Well, I guess I better do some work since i'm getting paid. I hope everyone has a good holiday. Thanks

Dee74 12-23-2011 01:19 PM

Hi Emily :)

Welcome - you'll find a lot of help and support here :)

I found clarity and confidence returned once I got straight again - that is of course the tricky bit.

How did you do it last time?

D

elm80 12-23-2011 04:31 PM

I was in a 2 yr residential program. There was a lot structure and people to talk to.

Itchy 12-23-2011 04:43 PM

When you get yourself together you will be very able in that you are will be a wounded healer. Like our peers helping each other here.

artsoul 12-23-2011 10:07 PM

Welcome elm!

Glad you've joined us - your true self is still there, just covered up by the addiction. I had a couple long periods of sobriety too, and now wonder why I ever went back.

If we can do it, so can you! :)

jocata 12-24-2011 12:28 AM

Welcome Emily. I also had a good period of sobriety several years ago. I stopped doing the things that kept me sober, AA meetings, a sponser, praying, talking to others. Ultimately I started using again. In other words, I got complacent. Each time I went back out, it got harder and harder to come back. Now I am doing the things that got me sober the first time. It's not always easy, but well worth it.
God bless.

DisplacedGRITS 12-24-2011 12:50 AM

Hello Emily and welcome. I'm 31 as well. Posting here may be a bit scary at first but this is a judgment free zone. Congrats on facing your deamons again. Remember to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm not sure if you're hooked on your girlfriend's perscriptions enough that you'll experience withdrawls. I suppose my best advice is to really sit back and accept that you've made a mistake and work on becoming the person you want to be. If you think you can, you may want to come clean about it and ask her to hide her medication or lock it away while you get your head straight. If not, just try to believe in yourself and your inner strength. You are the only person in the world strong enough to influence your addiction. Practice the skills you learned in rehab every day. When we get lazy in our recovery seems to be when our addictions rear their ugly heads again. Are you on meds? If so, are you taking them as you should be? If not, do you think you may need to see a psychiatrist (sp?) to see if you need to be on anything? Give yourself all the help avaliable to you. Take advantage of it. Keeping quiet and not sharing problems never helped anyone gain some measure of control over their disease.

elm80 12-24-2011 04:57 PM

Thank you for all the kind words and support. @ displacedGRITS- My girlfriend knows that I was taking them because it wasn't the first time. She had put them in a safe a couple of months ago but I can be very sneaky and I found the key in her wallet. I'm currently taking an antidepressent and I see a psychiatrist once a month but I don't talk about my addiction that much.

eJoshua 12-25-2011 12:35 AM

Hi Emily, welcome to SR!


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