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sometimes we just need to start from scratch

Old 12-22-2011, 12:31 PM
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sometimes we just need to start from scratch

hello everyone and thank you all for this great forum im so glad i found it.a bit about me then, im a 40yr old bloke from the uk i had been married until last month for 20yrs and i have a son in the army who is 20. i have been an alcoholic for at least 10yrs but only after work and from friday night until late sunday night i was always wasted. i have had 2 home detoxes which went ok but then after a couple of months i would start drinking weak lagers/beers and i would always end up back on my nemisis(really strong lagers 10 percent alcohol). i always promised my wife that i would stick to low strength beers and she was fine with that, but i could never get that same buzz from it so started hiding the stronger stuff around the house to drink (which she always found and then poured away) and so the rows would start.well last month she had enough and told me to leave which i duly did and moved 30 miles away to stay at my sisters, i did a home detox which went suprisingly well with hardly any shakes or panic attacks although even after a full month of sobriety im still sweating buckets at night (how long does this last ppl?), anyway i found myself a new job as a trucker (18 wheeler to you lot lol) and threw myself into work, i can honestly say i dont want to drink anymore and the reason is that this time im doing it for me and me only!!!! i have something to prove to myself and the only person i can let down is me!. i still love my wife dearly and know she still loves me but i think that after all that time together we were just making each other sad so it was time to split. to sum up if i can do this i truly believe that anyone can do it, i used to have panic attacks if i was broke and had no beer money and would stoop so low as to take money from my wifes purse to go out and get beer. now i can see what a low life alcohol had turned me into and i pray that i never go back there ever again. this aint me preachin to anyone i mean who knows what tomorrow will bring eh? ( i could be rat arsed this time tomorrow lol). im just taking it one day at a time and hope i can be strong enough to carry on being sober.anyway thx again for this site, reading some of the sad storys about how bad alcohol can can get you is truly humbling for me and then again i smile when i read about those who have got the demon licked. big hugs and kisses to all out there tricky.
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Old 12-22-2011, 12:55 PM
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welcome tricky
congratulations on your month

my sweats took 2 weeks or so to get better - if you're worried about the sweating, please see your Dr...it's probably nothing, but at least you could put your mind at ease?

D
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Old 12-22-2011, 01:05 PM
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Welcome!

I think that drinking prevents us from seeing things in our lives that are not going well. I'm sorry that your marriage broke down, but it sounds like you're doing well.
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