Music man

I can stop anytime. It's the maintaining it that's hard.
I get complacent. The last time was six months and I figured a glass of wine would be fine. nope.

I want to continue not drinking, but seems like it's become something I do.

This time I have told myself not to count the days, and I really don't know the exact day I stopped. It was the beginning of the month somewhere.

I'm did AA ( before)and am not that type , although I can see it's benefits.

Is a doctors treatment worth it? Do I need something like that?

I still find myself looking forward to that drink after work. I used to find reasons to leave early for it, I hope that stops.

Anyways thanx for listening to my rant.

SoCalDude

I was in the same boat.. so I totally get it. Especially in california, there are sooo many drinkers.. It's harder to find a non-alcoholic, lol

It's up to you if you think doctors are needed. For me, I didn't need a medical doctor, I just need support and someone who knows what I'm going through. I was very, very lucky to find a therapist that is a recovering alcoholic, someone who 'gets it' -- maybe look for something like that?

I still look for that drink after work, but I found an old christian rock musician that I listened to a few years ago from Mariners Church, there in Irvine... His name is Tim Timmons, and the song is 'Bended Knee', you can check the track out here http://music.*****.com/tim-timmons/tracks/ .. dunno if you're religious or not.. . It really breaks me down and reminds me what I'm here for, who I am here to serve (God).

Dee74

Drinking definitely became something I did.
Now it's something I don't do.

There's not a lot of mystery to it HF - if you don't want to drink - find support to stay that way. If you feel AA is not for you, there's many other alternatives - SMART, LifeRing, Rational Recovery to name but three.

Ambivalence is a bad thing for an alcoholic to have - my ambivalence let me drink more and more and sink lower and lower...

whatever spark you have in you that wants to stop drinking, I'd fan that spark, HF

D

Dee74

Drinking definitely became something I did.
Now it's something I don't do.

There's not a lot of mystery to it HF - if you don't want to drink - find support to stay that way. If you feel AA is not for you, there's many other alternatives - SMART, LifeRing, Rational Recovery to name but three.

Ambivalence is a bad thing for an alcoholic to have - my ambivalence let me drink more and more and sink lower and lower...

whatever spark you have in you that wants to stop drinking, I'd fan that spark, HF

D

ovrock

Hope I don't disappoint anyone, but here is the forum for honesty. I am terrified at the fact that I CANNOT have a drink again. Nearly everything I do is based around drinking or in a drinking environment..

This is not an excuse for failure, it is just MY reality... But I am a victim of the said environment.. It's ruining my life..

freshstart57

OVRock, back that up a bit.

There is a term used to describe that part of you that is responsible for that urge to get buzzed and stay that way. That term is 'alcoholic voice' or 'addicted voice', or just 'av'. It is that voice that is telling you to fear being sober, to be afraid of not taking a drink.

These fears are one way that your AV tries to work you so that you will keep drinking, no matter what happens to you. They are a smokescreen and they will not be realized when you get sober. In fact, that rumble of anxiety and depression that is always with you will start to lift as soon as you make that decision that you have had enough, and you will not drink. Your time has come to make that plan about your continuing to use alcohol.

You can make that plan now, you can decide that your AV is not you, and that you can make that AV pipe down just by recognizing it for what it is. Believe that you will do this, simply because you can.