Action versus analysis paralysis
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Action versus analysis paralysis
I've been all over the place emotionally, and wanting to drink fairly often, but talking myself out of it or just gritting it out. I'm realizing I need to take action. I can think about my problem and what to do about it all day long (and if often feels like I do), but that doesn't get me anywhere. I only feel happier when I'm taking action instead of staying stuck in my head.
Yesterday I shared in an AA meeting that although it was my 42nd day sober, I feel like every time I come to an AA meeting (which is sporadically) that it's all new to me, and that I'm just checking it out but not really delving in. I was really honest and said that I feel annoyed by all the talk about the program and the steps and the phrases, and I feel angry and annoyed that it is suggested that I do these steps and live this lifestyle which feels so foreign to me and I don't really understand the point. But that some of the talk about forgiving other people and ourselves had resonated with me, and although I'm not anywhere close to Step 8, I can see how it might be helpful. When I said this part I was almost crying a bit and I don't know why, other than the fact that I had to have the knowledge that I'm an alcoholic and I'm at AA meetings, which makes me feel crappy, but at the same time, hopeful. It's so weird.
Afterwards this woman told me she has been in the same place but what if I just give it a try, even if I'm not sure whether it's for me or not, I could try it for a year and see how it goes and then leave it if it doesn't work for me. That is scary but sounds like a good idea. So last night I texted my "friend" who I met in AA and who invited me to the Tuesday night women's group, who has helped me a lot, and asked her to dinner, and she was really happy about it.
We are going tonight before the meeting and I am going to be hoenst with her and say this whole thing seems outrageous to me but I have to get a plan and start going in a direction or I will go back to drinking because it sucks to feel stuck and to feel many of the same feelings I had when I drank (although I feel them in a more real way now, including real happiness... but it's hard to remember that sometimes), and not be able to drink to get away from them, when sometimes that's what I really want to do. So I want to focus on action instead of feelings and thoughts. I'm going to ask her to be my sponsor, which feels right because she has been so helpful to me and we have become friends of sorts, more than anyone else I've met in AA, but I don't know if she wants to sponsor me or anyone (I guess I keep thinking that she would have offered if she wanted to? or is it something I have to ask for?), so, I guess if she can't then she can let me know how to find someone else. It feels scary but at least I am taking a step and giving it a try. Even though honestly sometimes it seems just as crazy as drinking! But I need to do it NOW because I am going home for a week over Christmas and I need to have someone to call/talk to who understands what I'm going through even if I can't go to AA and even if my family is driving me even crazier than I usually am.
Yesterday I shared in an AA meeting that although it was my 42nd day sober, I feel like every time I come to an AA meeting (which is sporadically) that it's all new to me, and that I'm just checking it out but not really delving in. I was really honest and said that I feel annoyed by all the talk about the program and the steps and the phrases, and I feel angry and annoyed that it is suggested that I do these steps and live this lifestyle which feels so foreign to me and I don't really understand the point. But that some of the talk about forgiving other people and ourselves had resonated with me, and although I'm not anywhere close to Step 8, I can see how it might be helpful. When I said this part I was almost crying a bit and I don't know why, other than the fact that I had to have the knowledge that I'm an alcoholic and I'm at AA meetings, which makes me feel crappy, but at the same time, hopeful. It's so weird.
Afterwards this woman told me she has been in the same place but what if I just give it a try, even if I'm not sure whether it's for me or not, I could try it for a year and see how it goes and then leave it if it doesn't work for me. That is scary but sounds like a good idea. So last night I texted my "friend" who I met in AA and who invited me to the Tuesday night women's group, who has helped me a lot, and asked her to dinner, and she was really happy about it.
We are going tonight before the meeting and I am going to be hoenst with her and say this whole thing seems outrageous to me but I have to get a plan and start going in a direction or I will go back to drinking because it sucks to feel stuck and to feel many of the same feelings I had when I drank (although I feel them in a more real way now, including real happiness... but it's hard to remember that sometimes), and not be able to drink to get away from them, when sometimes that's what I really want to do. So I want to focus on action instead of feelings and thoughts. I'm going to ask her to be my sponsor, which feels right because she has been so helpful to me and we have become friends of sorts, more than anyone else I've met in AA, but I don't know if she wants to sponsor me or anyone (I guess I keep thinking that she would have offered if she wanted to? or is it something I have to ask for?), so, I guess if she can't then she can let me know how to find someone else. It feels scary but at least I am taking a step and giving it a try. Even though honestly sometimes it seems just as crazy as drinking! But I need to do it NOW because I am going home for a week over Christmas and I need to have someone to call/talk to who understands what I'm going through even if I can't go to AA and even if my family is driving me even crazier than I usually am.
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I think the hardest time for me was when I had a bit of sober time behind me and all the stuff I'd drunk over, trying to forget or control, started to resurface
I really needed help and support then - a little guidance - and yes most of all action.
I'm a thinker, but I can't think my way out of a hole - I have to climb out
You're doing well - I really hope the sponsor thing works out PT
congrats on your 42 days!
D
I really needed help and support then - a little guidance - and yes most of all action.
I'm a thinker, but I can't think my way out of a hole - I have to climb out
You're doing well - I really hope the sponsor thing works out PT
congrats on your 42 days!
D
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I think the hardest time for me was when I had a bit of sober time behind me and all the stuff I'd drunk over, trying to forget or control, started to resurface
I really needed help and support then - a little guidance - and yes most of all action.
I'm a thinker, but I can't think my way out of a hole - I have to climb out
You're doing well - I really hope the sponsor thing works out PT
congrats on your 42 days!
D
I really needed help and support then - a little guidance - and yes most of all action.
I'm a thinker, but I can't think my way out of a hole - I have to climb out
You're doing well - I really hope the sponsor thing works out PT
congrats on your 42 days!
D
I am interested in knowing what you did if not AA to take action?
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
On edit I was called away and did not see Dee's post or your reply so read mine as if it was first.
Pigtails,
I think that you have nothing to lose and the worst thing that can result is that you are sober and decide you don't think it suits.
But you nailed one thing dead center. For folks struggling when all is said and done more is said than done. You are not only taking the bull by the horns but you are doing everything in your power to do.
I used AA especially for the time period you are in now. I was there without fail for my group's two meetings a week and if I had needed more I would have gone and knew where they were.
Some do it without AA but even though I did not use them longer term, I still go every now and again to thank those folks who were instrumental in their support of me when I needed them most. I hope it works out the same for you.
Pigtails,
I think that you have nothing to lose and the worst thing that can result is that you are sober and decide you don't think it suits.
But you nailed one thing dead center. For folks struggling when all is said and done more is said than done. You are not only taking the bull by the horns but you are doing everything in your power to do.
I used AA especially for the time period you are in now. I was there without fail for my group's two meetings a week and if I had needed more I would have gone and knew where they were.
Some do it without AA but even though I did not use them longer term, I still go every now and again to thank those folks who were instrumental in their support of me when I needed them most. I hope it works out the same for you.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Originally Posted by Itchy
On edit I was called away and did not see Dee's post or your reply so read mine as if it was first.
Pigtails,
I think that you have nothing to lose and the worst thing that can result is that you are sober and decide you don't think it suits.
But you nailed one thing dead center. For folks struggling when all is said and done more is said than done. You are not only taking the bull by the horns but you are doing everything in your power to do.
I used AA especially for the time period you are in now. I was there without fail for my group's two meetings a week and if I had needed more I would have gone and knew where they were.
Some do it without AA but even though I did not use them longer term, I still go every now and again to thank those folks who were instrumental in their support of me when I needed them most. I hope it works out the same for you.
Pigtails,
I think that you have nothing to lose and the worst thing that can result is that you are sober and decide you don't think it suits.
But you nailed one thing dead center. For folks struggling when all is said and done more is said than done. You are not only taking the bull by the horns but you are doing everything in your power to do.
I used AA especially for the time period you are in now. I was there without fail for my group's two meetings a week and if I had needed more I would have gone and knew where they were.
Some do it without AA but even though I did not use them longer term, I still go every now and again to thank those folks who were instrumental in their support of me when I needed them most. I hope it works out the same for you.
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Pigtails, I used it for three months twice weekly. Sunday afternoons at 4 PM, and Tuesdays at 6:30 PM, and then less for the 4th month and then once a month or less. But that not because I was disappointed or hurt or not getting anything out of them. I had great support at home and elsewhere too. If I had it to do over again, I would not change any of it for me, AA would still be in my plan. If you need them longer term than I did, great if less great! I am glad you brought this up as I haven't been there for several months since my 1 year so I think I need to go tonight or next Tuesday.
You are taking action and adding when you feel shaky! Many won't.
You are taking action and adding when you feel shaky! Many won't.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Mt
Posts: 298
Pigtails to add to your disliked slogans "Fake it to you make it." If things feel forgein to you . Remember this a new life style and takes practice. I was a staunch AA basher for many years. I tried it many times without success. I continued to drink. Then when a new and worse bottom found me, i had no where elsel to turn. A group of AA women saved my life. The fellowship of AA and a power bigger than I am has given me 7 month sober. This time last year I could not make 3 days.
You do need to ask for sponsorship. One thing I never did in AA before. even though it is strongly suggested you do so. I got a sponsor this time and it is a huge support to me. You are doing it all right. Keep up the good work and posting. We at SR are here for you also. Every tool in the box is one more you can use. (())s Lushly
You do need to ask for sponsorship. One thing I never did in AA before. even though it is strongly suggested you do so. I got a sponsor this time and it is a huge support to me. You are doing it all right. Keep up the good work and posting. We at SR are here for you also. Every tool in the box is one more you can use. (())s Lushly
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Originally Posted by Itchy
Pigtails, I used it for three months twice weekly. Sunday afternoons at 4 PM, and Tuesdays at 6:30 PM, and then less for the 4th month and then once a month or less. But that not because I was disappointed or hurt or not getting anything out of them. I had great support at home and elsewhere too. If I had it to do over again, I would not change any of it for me, AA would still be in my plan. If you need them longer term than I did, great if less great! I am glad you brought this up as I haven't been there for several months since my 1 year so I think I need to go tonight or next Tuesday.
You are taking action and adding when you feel shaky! Many won't.
You are taking action and adding when you feel shaky! Many won't.
It's good that you go back to the group that helped you and help others (and that you post on SR). I am very grateful that there are people there for me, who have more experience and know how to help me.
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Originally Posted by lushly
Pigtails to add to your disliked slogans "Fake it to you make it." If things feel forgein to you . Remember this a new life style and takes practice. I was a staunch AA basher for many years. I tried it many times without success. I continued to drink. Then when a new and worse bottom found me, i had no where elsel to turn. A group of AA women saved my life. The fellowship of AA and a power bigger than I am has given me 7 month sober. This time last year I could not make 3 days.
You do need to ask for sponsorship. One thing I never did in AA before. even though it is strongly suggested you do so. I got a sponsor this time and it is a huge support to me. You are doing it all right. Keep up the good work and posting. We at SR are here for you also. Every tool in the box is one more you can use. (())s Lushly
You do need to ask for sponsorship. One thing I never did in AA before. even though it is strongly suggested you do so. I got a sponsor this time and it is a huge support to me. You are doing it all right. Keep up the good work and posting. We at SR are here for you also. Every tool in the box is one more you can use. (())s Lushly
Thanks for letting me know about asking for sponsorship. People keep coming up and giving me their numbers and telling me to call any time-- some even ask for my number or ask me to events etc.-- so I assumed they'd also come up and say they will sponsor me. I guess that is one thing they don't do unless I ask!
Thanks for being here for me.
And congrats on your 7 months, that's inspiring.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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I wrote this a few years back but it sets out what I did, and better than I could probably explain it now, PT
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2531003
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2531003
D
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Hi Pigtails,
I totally understand how you are feeling so much and not quite sure how to move forward. I am not an AA person, but have found my way through spiritual books and the support of SR. I have found that balance is crucial to my recovery. Every day I try to do something for my spiritual self, yoga or some kind of exercise and some reading to help me continue to connect with my soul.
I totally understand how you are feeling so much and not quite sure how to move forward. I am not an AA person, but have found my way through spiritual books and the support of SR. I have found that balance is crucial to my recovery. Every day I try to do something for my spiritual self, yoga or some kind of exercise and some reading to help me continue to connect with my soul.
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Originally Posted by Anna
Hi Pigtails,
I totally understand how you are feeling so much and not quite sure how to move forward. I am not an AA person, but have found my way through spiritual books and the support of SR. I have found that balance is crucial to my recovery. Every day I try to do something for my spiritual self, yoga or some kind of exercise and some reading to help me continue to connect with my soul.
I totally understand how you are feeling so much and not quite sure how to move forward. I am not an AA person, but have found my way through spiritual books and the support of SR. I have found that balance is crucial to my recovery. Every day I try to do something for my spiritual self, yoga or some kind of exercise and some reading to help me continue to connect with my soul.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Originally Posted by Dee74
I wrote this a few years back but it sets out what I did, and better than I could probably explain it now, PT
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2531003
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2531003
D
I appreciate it!!
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