Marriage
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wis
Posts: 172
Marriage
To be honest I was unfaithful to my wife about 4 years ago. This was before I was a serious drinker. Both of us just could not or have not gotten over it. About a year ago I started drinking very heavily and lied about my drinking which just made things worse cause then she thought I was cheating on her each time I went out drinking. Honestly I have had about 5-6 nights out with the guys in the last 4 years because she does not trust me. Now that I am only 3 days sober the haze of the alcohol is gone and I really questioning my marriage. Any advice
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
Get some counseling for you both, and practice complete honesty: like, tell your partner, "I am going out for groceries now, do you want to come with me?" etc.
It's like rebuilding a broken bridge. Hard work, and you need some engineering know-how.
It's like rebuilding a broken bridge. Hard work, and you need some engineering know-how.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Hi Duke,
You're right that there are issues in your marriage that need to be dealt with.
But, at 3 days sober, I think it might be better to focus on your recovery for awhile. I agree that counselling could be helpful for you and your wife.
You're right that there are issues in your marriage that need to be dealt with.
But, at 3 days sober, I think it might be better to focus on your recovery for awhile. I agree that counselling could be helpful for you and your wife.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
My husband was unfaithful to me a few years ago and I started drinking heavily during the time he wouldn't admit it until 8 months ago when I wanted to stop because I felt like I was killing myself. Since I stopped drinking I'm in a similar "state" as you.
I am trying to just give this some time. Just today while I was out with him several times I asked myself, "who is this guy?" he was behaving kind but almost unnatural and he got on my last nerve. He was being too nice and over doing it big time. And if this is really him, we are in big trouble.
It's not the niceness that's bugging me it's the fact that it comes across so unnaturally like he's forcing it.
I've been through a lot with him but I just don't want to think about our relationship right now. He blames most things on me but seriously, he's a big part of the "weirdness" in our relationship.
Sorry to go on about my relationship it's hard being on both sides of addiction and infadelity.
I am trying to just give this some time. Just today while I was out with him several times I asked myself, "who is this guy?" he was behaving kind but almost unnatural and he got on my last nerve. He was being too nice and over doing it big time. And if this is really him, we are in big trouble.
It's not the niceness that's bugging me it's the fact that it comes across so unnaturally like he's forcing it.
I've been through a lot with him but I just don't want to think about our relationship right now. He blames most things on me but seriously, he's a big part of the "weirdness" in our relationship.
Sorry to go on about my relationship it's hard being on both sides of addiction and infadelity.
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