How to Reach Out When I'm Newly Reached, and It's Close
 

Namaste my friends. It's going good with me. Seven months sober, things falling into place, vigilantilty optimistic and grateful. Those knowing me, new girlfriend, puppy yadda yadda yadda, National Lampoon, Sober X-mas. BUT, got a call from my niece last night, oh I recognize it so well--gushing, emotional slurring, semi-pointless--I felt "recognition" and fear and sadness and, I don't know. Tried to carry on the other side of a drunkers conversation, polite but pointless--how many have been on that side of me. No point in dealing with drunk, I know that. But now what do I do, if anything? It is an on-going problem, one not dealt with. She's my niece, 2,500 miles away. Our family not only lives in denial we've upgraded the property, and like to vacation there. Any insight would be appreciated. sober today, unsure forever. Mycool :a108:

Hey Cool. I suggest living your life and being an example. If you stay sober, she will have someone that "understands". I believe that other than that, there is little we can do for the alcoholic that still suffers. Keep it simple for yourself. Pray and love her to pieces. For me all the should quits, why don't you quits?, treatment centers and chaotic life episodes were never enough. I am sorry for you concern. Take Care my friend (())s from lushly PS life sounds gooood for you. I am glad

Congrats on the 7 Months! :c011:

Could anyone have made you quit before you yourself were ready? Unfortunately we can't save anybody but ourselves. My niece in law is just getting out of rehab. She also had two children as an unwed mother as a teen. I can be here for her if she asks. So can you. But until an addict like her, or an alcoholic, decides for themselves it is time, it is like that Robert Heinlein quote:
"“Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.”

If we had that magic wand to heal another, don't you think we would have used it first on ourselves?

Fitz, be the best example for her that you can be. You know she will need to find out if and when she wants to stop drinking. I have a nephew who is lost and being strongly enabled by other family members and it's very distressing. But, I try to remember that we are, each of us, on our own journey.

Thanks, I know you're right. It's just hard but I'll serenity prayer but still want to cry but hey I made it so far, she can true. there's room on the path for us all.