CamilleBelle

So, last night, drunk, I "outed" myself to my husbands family who are visiting... Soooooo embaressed right now, not even wanting to say goodbye today, but I only opened up after they talked about a history of alcohol issues on there side... Am I crazy for being so ashamed? Or should I embrase this as a step in the right direction?? Totally not doing ok right now... Freaking out...

Gerbosko

Remember this post?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3203840

I don't know what else to say, you're looking at a possible divorce and you're still drinking. I'd get my s* together and get some counseling because you're not able to help yourself quit.

Life is too important to waste it drunk.

CamilleBelle

I am thankful for your comment,but im on a ledge right now... Please dont push me over... I know life is too important, but im realizing this f**king disease doesnt give a crap... I need positive comments...please and thanks...

MentalLoop

whatever the outcome, embrace it. God has a reason for his madness, and your actions last night are nothing more than a part of that madness. Maybe you took your first step at creating a support network, and maybe you took your first step at showing your husband how important he is for you to want to stop. Maybe he enlisted his family to help you understand that it happens to the best of us, and that you can't fight it alone. Wake up today with you head held high - you took a giant leap at becoming an honest person last night - albeit a little sauced. The other thing I've learned in my 21 days is that the next 5 hours can go horribly sour or fantastically well. The only variable is your state of mind. So for today be proud that you are trying to quit, and let them help you avoid that next sip......My prayers are with you.

Dee74

I think, regardless of how you choose to feel about it, whats done is done Camille.

I think you'd be best to try and make your peace with it best you can - then gather up all your energy and decide what exactly your plan is from here for your recovery.

I know you were going to wait a bit with the cross country move - but your problems obviously waiting...you shouldn't either.

and try and remember everyone here really is trying to help, Camille. We're all pulling for you

D

CamilleBelle

This is insane... How a substance can take over your life... I went from an A college grad with a whole life ahead of her, to a mess... Just day to day. I said it before, ill say it again, the 1st may be to long to wait... Maybe today is the day I start my "real life"..

least

This disease doesn't give a crap about your life - do you?

Soberween

Don't be embarrassed! At least you were honest. You do have a disease and your husband married you "in sickness and in health." However, you do need to take the appropriate steps to beat this thing. It sounds like whatever you are doing is not working so you need to shift gears and figure out what it is going to take to get you sober. Now that the whole family knows you are aware of your issues, why not look into inpatient care?

CamilleBelle

least: I do, I do!!!!! And I want it back! This whole thing has gone crazy in just a few months!! Its freaking 5 am all I want is sleep and no go because my whole mind is worried about what to do when the family wakes up.. And my poor hubby.

Dee74

Essentially, you still are that A grade student with her life ahead of her Camille - you can be her again - and more...

you just have a little bramble patch of a problem to cut your way out of before you can get to the top of the hill and enjoy the panoramic view

the sooner you start cutting, the better it will be

you really can do this
D

Sapling

I couldn't agree with you more...

CamilleBelle

Dee, I lay in bed smiling right now, one because I know you are right, and two because I know in a few hours the family is gone, the time is now. I just hope I can pull it off... Why is it so freaking scary? Its just a liquid!! I may as well do shots of OJ!!

Dee74

changing our lives is always scary I think - but you're not alone Camille

D

CamilleBelle

No... Im not. I have tons, and I mean tons of support. I have my family, and now my husbands family, my husband and everyone here at SR... I may be too supported!!! Lol I wish you all could know me in person! I really am a fun, lively, pretty 27 year old gal with a whole life ahead of her... And im realizing alcohol, doesnt need to be involved!!!

Terminally Unique

Don't drink today, get a good night's sleep tonight, and tomorrow, when you are not hung over, read that book that you ordered the other day. If you want to, you can be well on your way to a different life before the new year starts.

langkah

Another time you might sit them down when drunk and give them a detailed run through of a far more embarassing area of your personal life experience, so the situation could definately get worse.

Being drunk in front of them and saying you drink too much is a no-brainer. Had you not copped to a drinking problem they'd know you have a drinking problem, because people are not blind. You gave nothing away verbally that you had not already shown them.

Even people with far more success than you've experienced in your life as yet are sober alcoholics. How nice you are or how nice you're not means nothing at all. That you don't want very much to be alcoholic is zero defense. It is what it is.

Try the latest book to stop drinking out when it arrives and see how it goes. If you need more than that down the road there is more. The trick is to act before your life shatters if you can do that. After is ok too, but getting involved in a solution that will keep you sober for the rest of your lifetime before much of the good in your life is gone has it's benefits.

When we're drunk around people who are not drunk a lot of us learn it's best to withdraw from conversations and just nod occasionally if need be.

Zebra1275

So you were an A student.

Now you need to be an AA student.

If it were me I would tell my husbands family who is visiting that you are headed to an AA meeting today. When they leave today, they are going to leave with an impression of their visit. You have a chance to make it one of hope by telling them (and your husband) that you are going to an AA meeting today. Then do it.

I don't know what your husbands reaction to last nights embarressment is going to be. I'm sure he will have one, he's probably waiting for his folks to leave so that he can deliver it in private. Take some positive action by finding an AA meeting before he can deliver his message. That may just change the message he intends to deliver.

Anyway, it's up to you, how bad do you want to be sober?

Gerbosko

Camille, I'm not trying to push you "over the edge", I'm just trying to help you get better. If every post was positive, we'd all still be drinking. Realize I'm not trying to make you feel like a dog, you need help because you keep relapsing and it's clear you need outside help.

Anna

Camille,

I hope that you find your way.

Vantrina

Thank the stars that your outing yourself last night was the worst thing that happened. Be grateful, really, for that. You "put it out there" and now you have to put actions behind your words. You can do this.

The scariest part is getting started. Just take one day at a time or one hour at a time. Your life won't be perfect when you are sober, but it will absolutely be lighter, and free from the additional problems that always come from being chained to alcohol. Time to set yourself free and begin your journey of a sober existence. You can do this.

Read, read, read the posts throughout the entire SR site.

And Zebra, right on.