Elphaba

I have such fond memories of getting drunk with family at Christmas. That is what my family has always done since I can remember, and undoubtably always will. Even when I was too young to indulge myself I could still partake by fetching drinks for everyone and when I was thirteen or fourteen I joined them. It was the one day of the year nobody cared, everyone was festive and in a good mood. I feel like some how I'm going to miss out, or disappoint. Anyone have any thoughts? Avoidance isn't an option.

Tigger41

Go back to being the one fetching the drinks and being kind of the "designated driver" my guess is half way through the evening when everyone is kind of tanked they won't look at "festive and happy" they'll look drunk. It's a whole different look when you're the sober one.

are there any kids you can hang out with?

tanja

Elphaba, It sounds like you are romanticizing getting drunk. How about the next day? How did you feel then? I think you can be festive and in a good mood without pouring poison down your throat. Could you possibly bring a sober buddy along with you to provide support and encouragement? That way, you really could enjoy Christmas.

Elphaba

Your right, I am romanticizing and even distorting. It's not all about the booze, it's about good times with family and friends. The kid idea is truly great, I like the idea of being an appropriate role model.

Dee74

I always find reading through my past posts, or even other peoples posts, helps dispel those rosy memories with a little reality of just what our drinking does to us Elphalba.

Others may not care - but I think *we* need to, y'know?

edit - yeah the being together is where it's at, and you can be a great role model for the young ones - good for you

D

Lenina

Elphaba,

I believe we have a bit of selective memory. We don't always remember the worse things. for me, there's nothing festive about getting drunk. or being around drunks.

Here's an idea: Try making some non alcoholic drinks. I have a good recipe for a crock pot spiced apple cider. It smells so good cooking up! The whole house benefits from this. Bake up and decorate some sugar cookies. it's easy and fun! There's no need to feel deprived of the festivities.

Also, you might want to analyze your cravings. look at the bottom line a bit. Is it the warm feelings of a happy holiday you're missing or is the urge to drunk? Drunk doesn't feel good.

Have you read through the Addictive Voice thread? It might help you.

Love from Lenina

dawnrunner

I agree about the selective memory of holiday "cheer".

My family holidays were also drenched with alcohol, and I recall thinking everyone was "jolly" for awhile, but then in reality there was arguing, people stomping out, refusal to eat the meal, weird friends showing up with drugs, and all sorts of unravelling.

But my first recollection is always of the happier parts, with tinsel and tree and toasts. That's the sneakiness of alcohol memories.

Threshold

You know there is nothing wrong with starting new traditions!

There are times we all go through major changes in our lives, that cause us to rethink and recreate. Getting sober is just one of these. It is doable. Knowing that should help.

Great suggestions and insights above. You may feel like you are missing out a little, but...if you create some new traditions, in a year or two you will be looking forward to those instead of missing the old ones.

Getting together and drinking was how my family (when I was a kid) spent Christmas. I don't have fond memories of seeing my grown ups act stupid, gross, mean, or of how some of the drunk men fondled me, how my mother held tight to the dashboard as my drunk father drove us home, etc etc. Like some others have suggested, sober, you might see a very different side of the holiday cheer. You might be the cool aunt that plays a game with the kids, keeps an eye on things, drives the revelers home safely, etc.

You may well save the holiday for some others.

Hevyn

What honest & helpful observations! Selective memory indeed. I imagined myself happy and glowing with holiday cheer - in reality I barely remembered anything anyone talked about or did. I staggered around in a fog.

I remember the day after Christmas one year - walking into the living room & being amazed that all the presents had been opened the day before. I had to think really hard to remember any of it. Is that celebrating? Wish I had those years back.

LindsayFunke

exactly. I'm thinking of all those nights this year, special occasions and parties, that I don't remember. think about how awesome you are going to feel the next day when you wake up refreshed and hydrated and not hungover!

this is exactly what I am nervous about too! but fun is possible w/o booze! i know because I have done it once or twice

Seared

The "drunk day of Christmas" sounds like a bit of a tough situation... and probably not a great one to be in. I'm sure some would recommend avoid it altogether, but I don't think that's a great solution either.

• Can you just "show up to the party late"? Not sure what your living situation is, but if just 'skip out' on the afternoon of drinking, and show up for dinner, you might be able to get more 'holiday' and less 'cocktail party' out of the day.
• If the above isn't really an option, find a reason to get out of the house for a while. Going caroling sounds too cheesy, but see if there's a soup kitchen you can go volunteer at for a few hours during the day.
• Find something else to "do" during the time. Do you like to watch football?
• Rough it out and stay there sober. Not sure how 'new' you are to recovery, cause if you are this could be dangerous territory. I suspect seeing everyone acting like drunk idiots (and probably end up fighting/yelling/arguing about stupid ****) will take the magical "drunk day of Christmas" off its pedestal.
• Any sober friends to invite along?