Four months - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read

LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-16-2011, 12:18 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490

Four months

I hit the 4 month mark on the 11th and really feel like all the cravings should be gone by now but they really are not and I'm very frustrated. I know I've talked about this before, but every day it becomes more and more clear that truly the only thing I have (had) in common is getting drunk together. I find myself (or my alcoholic voice) telling me that I can just have a glass of wine when we go out to dinner, or on New Years Eve, special occasions and that's it. It is driving me crazy. We are supposed to go to a couples house for a New Years Eve party and literally everyone there including my husband will be pounding back drinks. Being the only sober person in the room sounds miserable to me. What do I do? How can I fight this "alcoholic voice", and will it ever go away?!
Eliasson is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Eliasson For This Useful Post:
CaiHong (12-16-2011), Lenina (12-16-2011), tanja (12-16-2011)
Old 12-16-2011, 12:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
sissy07's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Hi Eliasson,

I don't have a reply (I am at work), just wanted to say congratulations on your four months of sobriety. Holidays are tough, no doubt about it.
sissy07 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to sissy07 For This Useful Post:
tanja (12-16-2011)
Old 12-16-2011, 12:32 PM   #3 (permalink)

Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 225
No Eliasson, the addictive voice will never be completely extinguished. It does quiet down in time though. Still, you must always remain aware of its existence and what it seeks. For me, I had just shy of 11 years of abstinence, and my AV was for the most part pretty silent. Until it wasn't. Now I am a newcomer just like so many others here. I now believe that hearing the AV and learning its ways is a good thing. This is a total shift in perspective for me. Congrats on the 4 months. Stay with it. It does become easier.
Exploring is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Exploring For This Useful Post:
CaiHong (12-16-2011), desertgirl (12-16-2011), freshstart57 (12-16-2011), least (12-16-2011), Lenina (12-16-2011), soberjim (12-16-2011), tanja (12-16-2011)
Old 12-16-2011, 01:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
Self recovered Self discovered
freshstart57's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,140
Eliasson, you've mentioned your alcoholic voice. To me, this says that learning more about it and how it works might be helpful for you.

To do this, you can go to the forum here at SR called Secular Connections and look at the thread called AVRT Discussion, currently in Part 3. This means that this topic has seen over 1000 posts. I particularly like the stuff written in Part 3 so far, but you can start at the beginning if you wish.

See if the idea of Alcoholic Voice Recognition Technique will help you. It made a world of difference to me.
AVRT has shown me how to never drink again and to never change my mind.
freshstart57 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to freshstart57 For This Useful Post:
CaiHong (12-16-2011), Exploring (12-16-2011), Lenina (12-16-2011), SSIL75 (12-16-2011)
Old 12-16-2011, 01:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
tanja's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Eliasson, Congratulations on 4 months. Focus on your accomplishment. Harnass what you have learned in the past 4 months to stay sober. I would strongly encourage you to skip the party or take a sober buddy with you. I think it is too early in sobriety to be in an environment where everyone is drinking. Your addictive voice is already starting up just thinking of the party and assuming it will be miserable if you don't drink. Please come up with a alternate plan and make it to 5 months. You will be so happy and proud of yourself.
tanja is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to tanja For This Useful Post:
ColetteTocca (12-16-2011), lillyknitting (12-16-2011), sissy07 (12-16-2011)
Old 12-16-2011, 02:28 PM   #6 (permalink)
Dee74's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 181,355
Blog Entries: 1
Congratulations Eliasson thats a great achievement

Have you thought anymore about support for your alcoholism? Are you using anything besides us?

Have you thought more about counselling for yourself with the stresses of looking after your son, and your fears about your marriage?

I don't want to badger you, but I do think supports really important - especially when those thoughts start to creep in.

It's hard to deal with everyone on our own.

Like Tanja said - focus on your accomplishment and maybe rethink this NYE thing if you're already sweating about it.

You've come a long way, in the face of some pretty big obstacles - you're an inspiration to a lot of us

You can do this

Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
CaiHong (12-16-2011), ColetteTocca (12-16-2011), Lenina (12-16-2011), SSIL75 (12-16-2011)
Old 12-16-2011, 02:46 PM   #7 (permalink)
DarrenW's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: In a Good Place
Posts: 484
Congrats on your sobriety to date. I would skip the party if I was in that situation.
I want to be the person God expects me to be
DarrenW is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to DarrenW For This Useful Post:
ColetteTocca (12-16-2011)
Old 12-16-2011, 03:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
Lenina's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326

Congrats on your four months! I also would recommend to read over the AVRT thread. It explains the whole addictive voice and gives technique for coping with it.

Love from Lenina
Lenina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2011, 05:31 PM   #9 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
least's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 81,537
Blog Entries: 32
Congrats on your four months sober!! I'd suggest you make a list of all the things you like about being sober, no matter how small. i'm grateful every day and it strengthens my sobriety.
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

least is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2011, 05:46 PM   #10 (permalink)
RyanRed's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 373
Part of being sober is learning how to live in world with alcohol. At some point you will be faced with challenges like this up coming social event of yours. Your the only person who knows your true limits of strength. For me, that wouldnt have flown for me. No way would I even have put myself in a situation of that type of drinking nature. I did on the other hand put myself in situation where drink was around. I went to a friends house where I knew he would be drinking. But he also knew I was recently sober. It was more of a test on my part to see how I would feel around alcohol again. I could leave at anytime, and my friend would understand if I did.

As for the results, I felt just fine. But if your situation it seems like you wouldnt feel fine. It seems to be that it actually might be pretty dangerous for you to even go. But again, you are the only one who knows your limits.

As for the alcoholic voice, well take a look at this post a wrote a few weeks back.

We can NEVER drink in moderation. Don't try and lie to yourself. The results will always end the same. Back where you were before you come here. Just have a look at the above post. It might help

Stay strong!

RyanRed is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to RyanRed For This Useful Post:
SSIL75 (12-16-2011)
Old 12-16-2011, 06:14 PM   #11 (permalink)
New to Real Life
SSIL75's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Congratulations on your 4 months. That is fantastic.

As for the intrusive thoughts...Here is what I did: It's basically AVRT.

I knew intellectually that I couldn't ever drink again. So any thought that conflicted with that is an alcoholic thought.

"Oh maybe I can have a glass of champagne on NYE".
Right. That's a stupid, alcoholic thing to think. I guess I'm still an alcoholic lol".

I would literally run that through my head. 'Calling out' the thought for what it is. Nonsensical, alcoholic BS.

I tried not to get too upset by it. Kind of faked it 'til I made it.

I agree with Dee though and wonder too where you are wrt your marriage etc.

Sending you good thoughts and hugs.
Sober since 8.23.2010
Learning a new way to live.
SSIL75 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SSIL75 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-16-2011), Lenina (12-16-2011)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:45 PM.