Day 1, I hate day 1...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 5
Day 1, I hate day 1...
Day 1 is no good because that means its happened again. I'm the kind of alcoholic who convinces himself that it's okay to have a few drinks at home, no harm in that, then a few drinks turns into half the bottle, then I wake up 3 days to 3 weeks later, as sick as a dog, with an angry wife, a mind full of guilt, and very little idea of what's happened. I don't just stop after that one night. I'm right back to it the next day but with more alcohol this time. It keeps going and escalating to the point where I'm drinking a whole bottle of vodka a day.
I only stop after my body won't let me take in anymore alcohol because it's so physically sick. That or my wife is so upset at me because I've been fighting with her or she finds out/knows I've been drinking heavily and I convince myself to stop. This happens over and over again. Wash, rinse, repeat.
So I'm posting on this site for the first time hoping it will help (as hard as it is right now to get my thoughts out/the alcohol is working it's "magic"). I just feel I need to do something different and come up with a plan and stick to it.
I've found this site helpful in the past but usually what happens is I start feeling normal again, stop going on the site, and then I go back to drinking. I've gone to about 10 or so AA meetings over the years and didn't really find it helpful. I'm not opposed to meetings but I just have my reasons as to why working the program isn't for me. For the people that it does work for, more power to you. For each their own and whatever works. I'm all for it.
My biggest problem is not staying focused on being sober. So I guess I'm trying to brainstorm so that I don't fall off the wagon again. So any comments or suggestions for keeping yourself focused and sober would be very helpful and very much appreciated. And thanks for reading my post.
On a second thought about those day 1's, they actually are good because that means I didn't drink that day and that's good for my well being. All I want to be is healthy and live a normal, happy, and sober life.
I only stop after my body won't let me take in anymore alcohol because it's so physically sick. That or my wife is so upset at me because I've been fighting with her or she finds out/knows I've been drinking heavily and I convince myself to stop. This happens over and over again. Wash, rinse, repeat.
So I'm posting on this site for the first time hoping it will help (as hard as it is right now to get my thoughts out/the alcohol is working it's "magic"). I just feel I need to do something different and come up with a plan and stick to it.
I've found this site helpful in the past but usually what happens is I start feeling normal again, stop going on the site, and then I go back to drinking. I've gone to about 10 or so AA meetings over the years and didn't really find it helpful. I'm not opposed to meetings but I just have my reasons as to why working the program isn't for me. For the people that it does work for, more power to you. For each their own and whatever works. I'm all for it.
My biggest problem is not staying focused on being sober. So I guess I'm trying to brainstorm so that I don't fall off the wagon again. So any comments or suggestions for keeping yourself focused and sober would be very helpful and very much appreciated. And thanks for reading my post.
On a second thought about those day 1's, they actually are good because that means I didn't drink that day and that's good for my well being. All I want to be is healthy and live a normal, happy, and sober life.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
Hi and Welcome,
What worked for me in the early days was to change my daily routines and patterns. It helped me to break the habit of drinking every evening. Be willing to make the changes in your life that will help you to recover.
I'm glad you're here and I hope you keep reading and posting.
What worked for me in the early days was to change my daily routines and patterns. It helped me to break the habit of drinking every evening. Be willing to make the changes in your life that will help you to recover.
I'm glad you're here and I hope you keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Brule, Wi
Posts: 18
Im very new here and find this site great. All I can say is all you can do is take one day at a time. I had 10 bucks tonight ususally id go buy, but found myself getting chips n dip instead. Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 181
i think you will find that when you have suffered enough you will stop..
you will want sobriety more than anything...
some of us persue it to the gates of hell or insanity and finally death...
please dont go down that dead end road.
it is a very very dark place,believe me ive been there.
but for the grace of GOD im alive ,well and happy today.
make a definate plan and stick to it..you will find that in a month from now life will be a whole lot better than it is right now....
god bless
you will want sobriety more than anything...
some of us persue it to the gates of hell or insanity and finally death...
please dont go down that dead end road.
it is a very very dark place,believe me ive been there.
but for the grace of GOD im alive ,well and happy today.
make a definate plan and stick to it..you will find that in a month from now life will be a whole lot better than it is right now....
god bless
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi WastedTime
Welcome. I think the key for me was to be really committed to staying sober - I knew eventually I'd feel good again and try and convince myself I didn't have a problem, I knew people would call me up and invite me to situations where I'd be tempted, I knew I'd have days where the going was hard and I'd want to reach for my old cure all.
Support was important in those times. They were hard to get through, but I did it
I also finally accepted that no matter what other people said or did, I knew that drinking was not good for me.
I'd drunk for 20 years. I'd tried everything to try and control it, but there was simply no control for me.
If all or nothing were my choices I figured I was better off with nothing - and that's been proven true for me time and time again in the last 5 years of recovery
I had to make a lot of changes, but it's all been worth it - and again, the support I found here has been invaluable in making those changes and sticking to them
good to have you join us
D
Welcome. I think the key for me was to be really committed to staying sober - I knew eventually I'd feel good again and try and convince myself I didn't have a problem, I knew people would call me up and invite me to situations where I'd be tempted, I knew I'd have days where the going was hard and I'd want to reach for my old cure all.
Support was important in those times. They were hard to get through, but I did it
I also finally accepted that no matter what other people said or did, I knew that drinking was not good for me.
I'd drunk for 20 years. I'd tried everything to try and control it, but there was simply no control for me.
If all or nothing were my choices I figured I was better off with nothing - and that's been proven true for me time and time again in the last 5 years of recovery
I had to make a lot of changes, but it's all been worth it - and again, the support I found here has been invaluable in making those changes and sticking to them
good to have you join us
D
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by WastedTime 
My biggest problem is not staying focused on being sober. So I guess I'm trying to brainstorm so that I don't fall off the wagon again. So any comments or suggestions for keeping yourself focused and sober would be very helpful and very much appreciated. And thanks for reading my post.
Good luck.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Glad you're here, WastedTime! The other good thing about day 1 is that you didn't put off - you decided to do it today. 
I come here every day - it's like taking my multi-vitamin. Even if it's only for 5 or 10 minutes, reading a few of the newcomer's posts is a great reminder of where that first drink will take us every time.
You don't have to go through this again if you don't want to!
I come here every day - it's like taking my multi-vitamin. Even if it's only for 5 or 10 minutes, reading a few of the newcomer's posts is a great reminder of where that first drink will take us every time.
You don't have to go through this again if you don't want to!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
I think it is good to join up with your fellow classmates in the Class Of December. You will find it in the Newcomers To Recovery section, I believe. Introduce yourself...tell your story...try and really get to know your classmates...you'll soon see that you've got a lot in common!
This is a learning process. Mutual support is a big part of it.
Commit yourself to being a part of the SR community and posting every day...it's a huge help and you won't feel like you're doing this all on your own..
Welcome!
My day 1 was 6 months ago and I'm still here every day.
This is a learning process. Mutual support is a big part of it.
Commit yourself to being a part of the SR community and posting every day...it's a huge help and you won't feel like you're doing this all on your own..
Welcome!
My day 1 was 6 months ago and I'm still here every day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 5
Thanks everyone for the kind words. I think making changes to my routine will be a big part of staying sober. The last time I was sober was for about 2 months or so, the longest I'd been in a long time, and changing my routines was what I think helped the most. One thing I changed was I started going to the gym a lot and was taking out my frustration on the treadmill instead of trying to hide it with alcohol when things got rough. It also helped because I would set goals as I progressed and it made me feel good about myself when I reached them. I need to start going back to the gym, once I start feeling semi normal again. Maybe I can find ways of setting other types of goals to reach as well.
I know I should go on here at least once a day. I need to remind myself just how bad I feel right now and that I don't ever want to feel this way again. I think I will check out that Class of December as suggested. Thanks Tippingpoint. Well Day 1 is almost done and frankly I'm glad. The longer I stay sober the more normal I can begin to feel, not to mention concentrate better.
Is it foggy in here, oh wait it's just me. Bring on Day 2...
I know I should go on here at least once a day. I need to remind myself just how bad I feel right now and that I don't ever want to feel this way again. I think I will check out that Class of December as suggested. Thanks Tippingpoint. Well Day 1 is almost done and frankly I'm glad. The longer I stay sober the more normal I can begin to feel, not to mention concentrate better.
Is it foggy in here, oh wait it's just me. Bring on Day 2...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 5
Wow. That was a great post anvil. And really great advice! Thank you!
Right now I am taking it one day at a time. I know I need to. This is only day 2 but they've been rough days and I'm greatful that I've been able to stay sober though them. I want to continue to do my best for one day, a day at a time, because that's really all I can do.
At some point I know I will have the power to begin to heal within and fix most of what I've broken. But, like you said, it can't all happen at once; as much as I want it to.
Right now I am taking it one day at a time. I know I need to. This is only day 2 but they've been rough days and I'm greatful that I've been able to stay sober though them. I want to continue to do my best for one day, a day at a time, because that's really all I can do.
At some point I know I will have the power to begin to heal within and fix most of what I've broken. But, like you said, it can't all happen at once; as much as I want it to.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Hi Wastedtime,
I'm now on Day 3 AGAIN. I tried in Oct but I just wasn't committed to the idea of being sober for the rest of my life. Now it's the holidays and I really don't like who I'm becoming.
I've learned something here that I CHOSE to ignore last time that anvil talked about. One day at a time.
I keep reminding myself that if the people who built the pyramids or the great wall of china thought to themselves "My God this is going to take forever!!!!" they would've given up immediately. So now, instead of thinking to the future I live for right this moment. I work on today. I don't think about tomorrow.
I'm now on Day 3 AGAIN. I tried in Oct but I just wasn't committed to the idea of being sober for the rest of my life. Now it's the holidays and I really don't like who I'm becoming.
I've learned something here that I CHOSE to ignore last time that anvil talked about. One day at a time.
I keep reminding myself that if the people who built the pyramids or the great wall of china thought to themselves "My God this is going to take forever!!!!" they would've given up immediately. So now, instead of thinking to the future I live for right this moment. I work on today. I don't think about tomorrow.
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