A New Day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
A New Day
Sometimes I enjoy watching the tv show Intervention. I enjoy watching the stories of others getting help.
This morning I got home after dropping my son off at school. Looked across the empty room and announced. My name is munchkin05, m-u-n-c-h-k-i-n-0-5.....and I'm an alcoholic. (music starts playing)
For about ten years now I've steadily increased my drinking. About seven years ago I would have arguments with myself while driving home. "You know you REALLY want some wine tonight". "No, I do not! Remember I'm trying to cut down some"
Over and over the argument would go on and usually the side of me that wanted to drink won. I started sliding into depression and started cutting myself. I have scars on my arm from that. Thankfully no one notices.
Fast forward to February 2005. I found out I was pregnant with my son. So I quit cold turkey and instead, in my moment of extreme stress, purchased a dining room set since I couldn't drink.
I stayed sober for the entire pregnancy, had one sip of irish creme when my son was about 3 months old (oddly enough it was my Mom pushing me to put a bit in my espresso because in her words "It'll relax me which equals being a better Mom. :crazy
When my son was around 8 months old my husband who was due to return any day from a deployment was extended for what the army announced "an unknown length of time".
So I relapsed. In about the span of two months I went from drinking a bottle of wine to drinking two bottles of wine. Next vodka, gin, etc.
From this point on it just became the norm. It was all same old same old.
I did have my moments in time where I would suddenly wake up for a moment and go "
, why am I doing this???" and so I would abstain for a month or two or sometimes I would make it to about 6 months. But then some little thing would happen and I'd slip yet again down the slippery slope of addiction.
My husband deployed again, and this time towards the end we discovered we were moving.
I was a supervisor of a travel office having employee hiring issues, now I had to work to get my house ready for sale, hubby is still deployed and now I'm having to look at moving to somewhere that I didn't want to go to. I put on 30 pounds total between June and November.
Between drinking non stop from the time I got home till about midnight when I would wrap up my work on the house and ordering out I put on weight fast. I didn't even notice my pants were getting tight, my clothes weren't fitting as well or anything as I was so caught up in the alcohol and the stress of planning a move myself.
Fast forward two years. I've been living here every night drowning myself in an alcohol bath. I've watched my Mom as she's gone from being a moderate alcoholic to a late stage one. I've noticed her shaking from withdrawals and I think to myself this could be me soon if I don't quit.
I've put on another 20 pounds and I'm in the middle of a very deep depression that is most definitely NOT helped by the alcohol and also by my very toxic coworkers who each day try to find a way to remind me that I'm just an annoying cockroach.
I have an appointment to meet with a therapist for the first time on Tuesday and while I'm happy that I'm doing something I'm also scared stiff. Everything will come out. All my secrets. All the pain. The addiction.
I had an awesome childhood, no family trauma, no abuse. Dad was deployed from the time I was 4 until 12 but that is nothing new in a military family.
I have a wonderful husband and son. I have a nice life.
I'm the person at work who is cheerful, talkative, friendly. Little do any of them know the person underneath all that.
Unfortunately I've gotten very good at deceiving people. Coworkers, doctors, family, friends, etc.
So today I read a thread started by huntress. Today is the day.
This led me to this idea. Since I have no friends here where I live, I will turn to whatever I can turn to. I will use this to keep me accountable.
I've tried contacting the local AA and have yet to get an answer back so that is pretty much out. Plus next month my husband leaves for 3 months and I have no one to watch my son. I'm going to start reading again. Heck I never even finished reading Under the Influence.
Today. I start day 1
This morning I got home after dropping my son off at school. Looked across the empty room and announced. My name is munchkin05, m-u-n-c-h-k-i-n-0-5.....and I'm an alcoholic. (music starts playing)
For about ten years now I've steadily increased my drinking. About seven years ago I would have arguments with myself while driving home. "You know you REALLY want some wine tonight". "No, I do not! Remember I'm trying to cut down some"
Over and over the argument would go on and usually the side of me that wanted to drink won. I started sliding into depression and started cutting myself. I have scars on my arm from that. Thankfully no one notices.
Fast forward to February 2005. I found out I was pregnant with my son. So I quit cold turkey and instead, in my moment of extreme stress, purchased a dining room set since I couldn't drink.
I stayed sober for the entire pregnancy, had one sip of irish creme when my son was about 3 months old (oddly enough it was my Mom pushing me to put a bit in my espresso because in her words "It'll relax me which equals being a better Mom. :crazy
When my son was around 8 months old my husband who was due to return any day from a deployment was extended for what the army announced "an unknown length of time".
So I relapsed. In about the span of two months I went from drinking a bottle of wine to drinking two bottles of wine. Next vodka, gin, etc.
From this point on it just became the norm. It was all same old same old.
I did have my moments in time where I would suddenly wake up for a moment and go "
, why am I doing this???" and so I would abstain for a month or two or sometimes I would make it to about 6 months. But then some little thing would happen and I'd slip yet again down the slippery slope of addiction. My husband deployed again, and this time towards the end we discovered we were moving.
I was a supervisor of a travel office having employee hiring issues, now I had to work to get my house ready for sale, hubby is still deployed and now I'm having to look at moving to somewhere that I didn't want to go to. I put on 30 pounds total between June and November.
Between drinking non stop from the time I got home till about midnight when I would wrap up my work on the house and ordering out I put on weight fast. I didn't even notice my pants were getting tight, my clothes weren't fitting as well or anything as I was so caught up in the alcohol and the stress of planning a move myself.
Fast forward two years. I've been living here every night drowning myself in an alcohol bath. I've watched my Mom as she's gone from being a moderate alcoholic to a late stage one. I've noticed her shaking from withdrawals and I think to myself this could be me soon if I don't quit.
I've put on another 20 pounds and I'm in the middle of a very deep depression that is most definitely NOT helped by the alcohol and also by my very toxic coworkers who each day try to find a way to remind me that I'm just an annoying cockroach.
I have an appointment to meet with a therapist for the first time on Tuesday and while I'm happy that I'm doing something I'm also scared stiff. Everything will come out. All my secrets. All the pain. The addiction.
I had an awesome childhood, no family trauma, no abuse. Dad was deployed from the time I was 4 until 12 but that is nothing new in a military family.
I have a wonderful husband and son. I have a nice life.
I'm the person at work who is cheerful, talkative, friendly. Little do any of them know the person underneath all that.
Unfortunately I've gotten very good at deceiving people. Coworkers, doctors, family, friends, etc.
So today I read a thread started by huntress. Today is the day.
This led me to this idea. Since I have no friends here where I live, I will turn to whatever I can turn to. I will use this to keep me accountable.
I've tried contacting the local AA and have yet to get an answer back so that is pretty much out. Plus next month my husband leaves for 3 months and I have no one to watch my son. I'm going to start reading again. Heck I never even finished reading Under the Influence.
Today. I start day 1
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: La-La Land! :)
Posts: 136
My hubby is military too... hasnt been deployed yet, but I always wonder how I would react to it... another reason to get sober before that ever occurs so I can be level headed about it! Thanks for your post munchkin! It really made me think!
now what?
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 85
Great OP, munchkin! Glad I had a little something to offer.
I've had the weight creep up on me like that, too. I have a taste for wine, and then more wine, and once I got to a certain point, I'd get the munchies and eat stuff that was not healthy, and BOOM. I quit a few days ago, and at least the bloat is going away. Soon, the weight will start coming off, as well. And it feels good!
Welcome to the family! Keep coming.
I've had the weight creep up on me like that, too. I have a taste for wine, and then more wine, and once I got to a certain point, I'd get the munchies and eat stuff that was not healthy, and BOOM. I quit a few days ago, and at least the bloat is going away. Soon, the weight will start coming off, as well. And it feels good!
Welcome to the family! Keep coming.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
Welcome munchkin
You'll find a lot of support here
There's a lot of support in the real world too, if you're looking for it
I wouldn't write AA off just because noone returned your call - I assume the offices are run by volunteers, just like SR...we try our best but we're human
You could ring them up again...or google 'AA meetings' & your town and then just show up.
There's a lot of other alternatives to AA too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
it's good to have you with us
D
You'll find a lot of support here
There's a lot of support in the real world too, if you're looking for it
I wouldn't write AA off just because noone returned your call - I assume the offices are run by volunteers, just like SR...we try our best but we're human
You could ring them up again...or google 'AA meetings' & your town and then just show up.
There's a lot of other alternatives to AA too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
it's good to have you with us
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Welcome, Munchkin!
I was a military wife for 22 years and I know how stressful things can get. I found the moves, usually every 2 years, and the upheaval in the children's lives was so hard. And, in the military, friends come and go like the changing winds and isolation becomes the norm. It certainly added to my depression/anxiety. And, I did what you did and put on the happy face, all the time, no matter what.
I think reading here and learning what you can about addiction and recovery is a good idea. I'm so glad that you have decided to stop drinking today. I hope the appointment with your therapist goes well.
I was a military wife for 22 years and I know how stressful things can get. I found the moves, usually every 2 years, and the upheaval in the children's lives was so hard. And, in the military, friends come and go like the changing winds and isolation becomes the norm. It certainly added to my depression/anxiety. And, I did what you did and put on the happy face, all the time, no matter what.
I think reading here and learning what you can about addiction and recovery is a good idea. I'm so glad that you have decided to stop drinking today. I hope the appointment with your therapist goes well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Philly PA
Posts: 814
Hi M05. I'm so glad you're here and going to get sober. I'm sure it's difficult with no one around but someone's always here at SR. I've had to reach out a few times myself as I'm doing this pretty much solo with the help of these boards and reading. Good luck. Give your son a squeeze for me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Day 2
Slept horribly last night. Partly I know due to lack of alcohol in my system but the other part is this wicked cough I have that I can't seem to get rid of. I've started taking mucinex like my acupuncturist advised me but I just always have this dang tickle in my chest with a dry cough.
Can I take anything at night to slow the cough and tickle a bit? Honey I know is good somewhat for my throat but I'm hoping for something to stop the cough/tickle in my chest.
I'm surprised I didn't sweat as much last night. Every time I quit I sweat like a pig through the night. Hubby always says "maybe you had a virus you were trying to sweat out"
Uh, yeah, whateveh!
Feeling otherwise not bad however have you ever noticed that when you decide to go for sobriety the whole world seems to fall apart for a while?
This morning I get myself up after a somewhat sleepless night. I'm all congested so the shower helps with that. Then get my son up and dressed and ready for the day.
Next thing you know I get downstairs, get us ready to go, pick up my sons coat and
it's wet! I bring it to my nose only to find that the cat has PEED on it and my purse!!! When I picked up the coat to smell it I also spilled cat urine all over my pants. Now there's urine also all over the floor but I can't clean that up nor my purse much because if I do I'll be late for work. So left the house with urine all over the floor and my sons coat on top of the washing machine.
So tonight son and I will be throwing in a wash of his coat, a blanket, my purse, and a few other miscellaneous items in hopes that we can remove the urine smell and enzymes off of it.
So here is something else to chew over. Every few months hubby and I a party that everyone has named "SANGRIA SATURDAY!" Its a real big deal. I love to cook so I make tons of delicious dishes to fit the season.
Last time it was Argentinian Beef Empenadas, Viatnamese Spring rolls, Hot cheese beef dip, crudites, and loads and loads AND loads of Sangria.
On the 23rd we were supposed to have another party but I don't really want to do this as once again there will be lots of sangria and also gluwein that I would be making.
No good for someone with an alcohol problem. I'm rather sad because I planned on making traditional cheese fondue with sausage, boiler onions, fresh homemade bread, and mushrooms along with several other tempting appetizers.
But I know that my recovery is more important right now than cooking for others so hubby and I are talking about cancelling it. Its going to dissapoint about 20 people but I'm just worried about being around all that wine and such.
Decision will come shortly.
Also hubby and I just racked off five 5 gallon jugs of homemade mead. I'm thinking of just pouring it down the drain.
I don't want it around.
We also have several extremely expensive bottles of wine from winerys in California and Virginia that I don't want to give away but I know I cannot open to drink.
And on top of all of this is an extremely expensive wine cabinet made from cherry wood and wrought iron. I hate to get rid of it but why have it when nothing will be in it?
So many decisions. HELP!
You know I kind of wish I could talk to my Dad's best friend in Virginia privately. He's a recovering alcoholic of about 15 years but since I can't I'll talk to you all instead.
By the way, I have to say, it feels so weird when others are friendly to me or give me a virtual thumbs up or hug. Everyone around me at work is very negative and hostile. I've learned to keep mostly to myself and not to share much, especially since my boss told me I should not speak about Alaska or being a military wife as it offends many of my coworkers.
So to all here have responded to this
I appreciate more than you can know.
Slept horribly last night. Partly I know due to lack of alcohol in my system but the other part is this wicked cough I have that I can't seem to get rid of. I've started taking mucinex like my acupuncturist advised me but I just always have this dang tickle in my chest with a dry cough.
Can I take anything at night to slow the cough and tickle a bit? Honey I know is good somewhat for my throat but I'm hoping for something to stop the cough/tickle in my chest.
I'm surprised I didn't sweat as much last night. Every time I quit I sweat like a pig through the night. Hubby always says "maybe you had a virus you were trying to sweat out"
Uh, yeah, whateveh!Feeling otherwise not bad however have you ever noticed that when you decide to go for sobriety the whole world seems to fall apart for a while?
This morning I get myself up after a somewhat sleepless night. I'm all congested so the shower helps with that. Then get my son up and dressed and ready for the day.
Next thing you know I get downstairs, get us ready to go, pick up my sons coat and
it's wet! I bring it to my nose only to find that the cat has PEED on it and my purse!!! When I picked up the coat to smell it I also spilled cat urine all over my pants. Now there's urine also all over the floor but I can't clean that up nor my purse much because if I do I'll be late for work. So left the house with urine all over the floor and my sons coat on top of the washing machine. So tonight son and I will be throwing in a wash of his coat, a blanket, my purse, and a few other miscellaneous items in hopes that we can remove the urine smell and enzymes off of it.
So here is something else to chew over. Every few months hubby and I a party that everyone has named "SANGRIA SATURDAY!" Its a real big deal. I love to cook so I make tons of delicious dishes to fit the season.
Last time it was Argentinian Beef Empenadas, Viatnamese Spring rolls, Hot cheese beef dip, crudites, and loads and loads AND loads of Sangria.
On the 23rd we were supposed to have another party but I don't really want to do this as once again there will be lots of sangria and also gluwein that I would be making.
No good for someone with an alcohol problem. I'm rather sad because I planned on making traditional cheese fondue with sausage, boiler onions, fresh homemade bread, and mushrooms along with several other tempting appetizers.
But I know that my recovery is more important right now than cooking for others so hubby and I are talking about cancelling it. Its going to dissapoint about 20 people but I'm just worried about being around all that wine and such.
Decision will come shortly.
Also hubby and I just racked off five 5 gallon jugs of homemade mead. I'm thinking of just pouring it down the drain.
I don't want it around.
We also have several extremely expensive bottles of wine from winerys in California and Virginia that I don't want to give away but I know I cannot open to drink.
And on top of all of this is an extremely expensive wine cabinet made from cherry wood and wrought iron. I hate to get rid of it but why have it when nothing will be in it?
So many decisions. HELP!
You know I kind of wish I could talk to my Dad's best friend in Virginia privately. He's a recovering alcoholic of about 15 years but since I can't I'll talk to you all instead.
By the way, I have to say, it feels so weird when others are friendly to me or give me a virtual thumbs up or hug. Everyone around me at work is very negative and hostile. I've learned to keep mostly to myself and not to share much, especially since my boss told me I should not speak about Alaska or being a military wife as it offends many of my coworkers.
So to all here have responded to this
I appreciate more than you can know.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Will do tigger! Cute story to share.
Recntly I gave him money that he could use to purchase Christmas presents for hubby and I. They were having a fundraiser type of thing at school.
Tuesday I pick him up and he tells me he MUST give me my present now!
So after a while of telling him "doesn't he want to wait till Christmas?" and getting an answer of "No!"
I open it to find a very pretty ring with a purple faux crystal in in. When I remarked that it was so pretty and that I like it very much he asked me very eagerly "Mama, can we get married now that we have a ring?"
LOL
Recntly I gave him money that he could use to purchase Christmas presents for hubby and I. They were having a fundraiser type of thing at school.
Tuesday I pick him up and he tells me he MUST give me my present now!
So after a while of telling him "doesn't he want to wait till Christmas?" and getting an answer of "No!"
I open it to find a very pretty ring with a purple faux crystal in in. When I remarked that it was so pretty and that I like it very much he asked me very eagerly "Mama, can we get married now that we have a ring?"
LOL
Originally Posted by Tigger41 
Hi M05. I'm so glad you're here and going to get sober. I'm sure it's difficult with no one around but someone's always here at SR. I've had to reach out a few times myself as I'm doing this pretty much solo with the help of these boards and reading. Good luck. Give your son a squeeze for me
Last edited by munchkin05; 12-15-2011 at 06:46 AM. Reason: added smiley
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
I had to make a lot of changes in my early recovery - some of them were pretty painful at the time, but it really did all turn out for the best in the end...
sounds like you know what you need to do with all these things
D
sounds like you know what you need to do with all these things
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 50
Munchkin - you've made the right decision to quit. Stick around here. I've found this forum to be extremely helpful when I've had wobbly moments that, in the past, would have driven me to open a bottle a wine.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Day 4
Well like I said in my blog today, I think I would've slept better if I could just get this cough under control.
I made myself an appointment at the doctor today and took off from work.
Turns out the doctor says once again my allergies are playing a role in this (TAKE THAT COWORKERS WHO SAID I HAD PNEUMONIA!
) and has put me on more allergy medicine. Fun fun.
However that being said, once again my BP was high and this time the doctor put me on a 5 day check. For 5 days I have to come into the clinic to get my BP read. This can actually be a good thing because once the doctors put me on a home check like this it actually gave me an incentive to turn things around and helped me stay sober for a bit. I will do anything and everything to avoid being put on high blood pressure meds.
Today I'm being just a bit bad and went to the commissary for some snacks and also for a Stouffers Escalloped chicken and noodles which isn't good for me but I figure tomorrow I'll start my DASH diet. Right now I just want something comforting and I used to eat that all the time when I was a kid. Perfect comfort food for me.
I think starting day 5 I'll also start recording my BP to remind myself to stay sober! Once I get rid of this cough then I can start going to the gym again even though I have to tackle the traffic.
Last night had a few moments of cravings but nothing really tough. I find it helps for me to come here in the evening when as a friend said "the witching hour" starts and then of course I'll do the chat here tonight. I'm thinking of also doing the online SMART program and they have live chats too that I could probably do on Mondays. That way I'm doing Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. If I can't do those ones then I'll try to see if there are any other chats on the weekends.
My husband has been gone all week on a TDY which makes it easier and yet harder to abstain. Part of me (the childish part) goes "PARTY! I can do whatever I want" like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. The other part though finds that without the added stress of hubby, his work, him being stuck at work, him locking his keys in his car, him forgetting things that then I have to remember to grab, etc, well (and don't take this the wrong way cause I love him so much!) it's just sometimes easier to abstain.
Now that all being said he returns tonight which also makes it harder to come here and talk, especially during that witching hour.
So, can everyone say a prayer for me?
The rest of today will be spent holiday shopping for hubby, wrapping presents and spent more or less relaxing.
Oh and my thought for the day is one day at a time. I can do it. Don't think of the future. Live in the now.
I made myself an appointment at the doctor today and took off from work.
Turns out the doctor says once again my allergies are playing a role in this (TAKE THAT COWORKERS WHO SAID I HAD PNEUMONIA!
) and has put me on more allergy medicine. Fun fun. However that being said, once again my BP was high and this time the doctor put me on a 5 day check. For 5 days I have to come into the clinic to get my BP read. This can actually be a good thing because once the doctors put me on a home check like this it actually gave me an incentive to turn things around and helped me stay sober for a bit. I will do anything and everything to avoid being put on high blood pressure meds.
Today I'm being just a bit bad and went to the commissary for some snacks and also for a Stouffers Escalloped chicken and noodles which isn't good for me but I figure tomorrow I'll start my DASH diet. Right now I just want something comforting and I used to eat that all the time when I was a kid. Perfect comfort food for me.
I think starting day 5 I'll also start recording my BP to remind myself to stay sober! Once I get rid of this cough then I can start going to the gym again even though I have to tackle the traffic.
Last night had a few moments of cravings but nothing really tough. I find it helps for me to come here in the evening when as a friend said "the witching hour" starts and then of course I'll do the chat here tonight. I'm thinking of also doing the online SMART program and they have live chats too that I could probably do on Mondays. That way I'm doing Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. If I can't do those ones then I'll try to see if there are any other chats on the weekends.
My husband has been gone all week on a TDY which makes it easier and yet harder to abstain. Part of me (the childish part) goes "PARTY! I can do whatever I want" like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. The other part though finds that without the added stress of hubby, his work, him being stuck at work, him locking his keys in his car, him forgetting things that then I have to remember to grab, etc, well (and don't take this the wrong way cause I love him so much!) it's just sometimes easier to abstain.
Now that all being said he returns tonight which also makes it harder to come here and talk, especially during that witching hour.
So, can everyone say a prayer for me?
The rest of today will be spent holiday shopping for hubby, wrapping presents and spent more or less relaxing.
Oh and my thought for the day is one day at a time. I can do it. Don't think of the future. Live in the now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Day 5
Still slept horribly all due once again to this horrible cough that now not only kept me awake but hubby too, unfortunately.
Barely any sweating, and all other symptoms of detox seem to be fading.
Yesterday I did good all the way until about 430pm when suddenly hubby calls right as my cravings start hitting to tell me "by the way, I'm going to be late". By 515pm or so I get ready to pick up my son and I get another phone call, this time advising me that yet again he will be seriously delayed. Nice.
So of course this SET ME OFF
I was seriously close to caving, driving to my sons daycare where the bus drops my son off from school, I passed the shop where I always pick up my wine, gin, etc. Talking to myself non stop. One day at a time. Don't mess up for something stupid like this. What are you going to tell all those friends you've made at SR.
In the end, after many discussions with myself and talking to a few friends here I made it. I'm on day 5.
Today I went to the commissary and saw a friend that works at GNC. After waving hi and all she leaned over and said "hey I know you like wine! Well have you ever had a bourbon slushie?" I said yes I had and agreed that they were very good, at which point she told me "Well hey I'm making some on Monday and bringing it to work! Why don't you come over on Monday and we can have some together!" Uh, bourbon slushies at a health and vitamin store?
Well I'm pretty sure you know my answer. I told her I'd see if I had time to stop by. I don't think I will though. Calendars full.
I purchased some really nice buttery Pepperidge Farm Chessman cookies and Pirouette cookies to go along with my espresso that I used to enjoy when I didn't drink alcohol. I think I might ask hubby for some fancy, girly espresso cups. Mine are more utilitarian.
I also got some lovely imported cheese to go along with some salami, panetini and sliced pears. Perrier to drink.
These were the simple pleasures that I have forgotten since drowning myself in alcohol.
It's nice to remember the things I used to enjoy.
Tonight hubby and I are having our date night. Son goes to a kids night out tonight.
We're going to Bonefish Grill for dinner. We've both agreed that we want the Ahi Sushimi for a starter but then I think I want the Chilean Sea Bass. On the other hand Filet Mignon with Garlic Gorgonzola butter sounds yummy too.
I'm going to see if they have perrier or pellegrino to drink.. Hate to just order water when I am going out for something special.
Barely any sweating, and all other symptoms of detox seem to be fading.
Yesterday I did good all the way until about 430pm when suddenly hubby calls right as my cravings start hitting to tell me "by the way, I'm going to be late". By 515pm or so I get ready to pick up my son and I get another phone call, this time advising me that yet again he will be seriously delayed. Nice.
So of course this SET ME OFF
I was seriously close to caving, driving to my sons daycare where the bus drops my son off from school, I passed the shop where I always pick up my wine, gin, etc. Talking to myself non stop. One day at a time. Don't mess up for something stupid like this. What are you going to tell all those friends you've made at SR.
In the end, after many discussions with myself and talking to a few friends here I made it. I'm on day 5.
Today I went to the commissary and saw a friend that works at GNC. After waving hi and all she leaned over and said "hey I know you like wine! Well have you ever had a bourbon slushie?" I said yes I had and agreed that they were very good, at which point she told me "Well hey I'm making some on Monday and bringing it to work! Why don't you come over on Monday and we can have some together!" Uh, bourbon slushies at a health and vitamin store?
Well I'm pretty sure you know my answer. I told her I'd see if I had time to stop by. I don't think I will though. Calendars full.
I purchased some really nice buttery Pepperidge Farm Chessman cookies and Pirouette cookies to go along with my espresso that I used to enjoy when I didn't drink alcohol. I think I might ask hubby for some fancy, girly espresso cups. Mine are more utilitarian.
I also got some lovely imported cheese to go along with some salami, panetini and sliced pears. Perrier to drink.
These were the simple pleasures that I have forgotten since drowning myself in alcohol.
It's nice to remember the things I used to enjoy.
Tonight hubby and I are having our date night. Son goes to a kids night out tonight.
We're going to Bonefish Grill for dinner. We've both agreed that we want the Ahi Sushimi for a starter but then I think I want the Chilean Sea Bass. On the other hand Filet Mignon with Garlic Gorgonzola butter sounds yummy too.
I'm going to see if they have perrier or pellegrino to drink.. Hate to just order water when I am going out for something special.
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