A New Day
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Busy chaotic day once again, thanks much to my hubbys work.
Last night he was supposed to pick up our share at the farm and some bacon at the butcher shop but unfortunately he did not get off till almost 6pm.
Now, I have an appointment today with my therapist at 3pm and an allergy shot to get so immediately after that I have to fit in the following to pick up the slack:
Yes I know I sound somewhat bitter about that but it does frustrate me. That is the reason many times I give him some of the "run around" type of chores rather than household ones. Because I will get home and still have the mountain of work to do there because he will be sitting at his computer, playing a game.
Oh well.
Not much really to do about that. Other than to soldier on.
Just got done cleaning my keyboard here at work and it feels like new now! The keys actually CLICK now. Still though, it feels all "chemically" with the Lysol wipes I used so I can't wait for that feeling to go away.
Oh, got some good news about my son! My teacher is putting him in another reading class because I guess he reads at a higher level than the other kids! How about them apples, eh!? That really shocked me. The fact that he's still not sitting, paying attention, staying quiet does not. I really have to figure out how to get him to stay still, be quiet and what not in school.
Amusingly enough however, a kid recently told his Mom in front of my husband that my son is considered to be the "cool kid" in class.
Cute.
My cold feels like it is going away slowly with slight pressure in my sinuses, a tiny tickle in my chest, and all over just feeling congested. It probably doesn't help that I wake up each morning at 4am with my husband so I'm missing out on about 1 1/2 hours of sleep every day.
Still though, and this is to all the other current using alcoholics who are looking for yet another reason to quit. YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM WILL IMPROVE IN STRENGTH.
There I said it.
When I was drinking I would get sick and stay sick for about 2 to 3 weeks. Now I caught my sons cold around Sunday, by Monday I was feeling it. Today it's there but barely.
There you go. You figure it out.
If you were once like me, calling in sick because you were sick, miserable, calling in sick because you were hungover and what not. That will all go away because you are no longer POISONING your body with that sh*t.
And that is exactly what it is. Poison. Mighty fine tasting poison but still poison. Well some of it was tasty. On the other hand I can still remember drinking an almost purely gin martini with no olives and grimacing at the taste because now it's warm and it tasted vile and yet I kept drinking because I was looking for that warm feeling, that numb feeling I would get.
I tried for the longest time to say I drank for the "taste" but after about 6 to 8 years that faded and I would drink the nastiest stuff.
Rotgut gin. Rotgut Vodka. God, even now my mouth fills with saliva and not in a good way (think like you're about to vomit type of feeling going on here)
Craziness. Really.
It's amazing now when I look back to 10 months ago where I was. 43 pounds heavier. In a Size 14 almost 16 size pair of pants. Depressed. Sick. Miserable. Addicted. Horrible excuse of a Mom and Wife.
Now, 43 pounds lighter. Size 10 to 12 pants. More or less happy, barely sick at all. And while the demon addiction will follow me around like some demented sick puppy I will never again allow any sort of alcohol pass my lips.
Yes I still cook with wine, brandy, cognac. I use beer in chili. I do use traditionally made vanilla which is vanilla bean steeped usually in vodka.
But I cook those thoroughly and then enjoy the dish with a large wine glass filled with perrier and lemon.
Alcohol is no longer my BFF and most of the time it seems to know it is not, that relationship has been severed.
Every so often I get a craving, mostly when I'm stressed to the max, when my husband and I argue, when I'm feeling miserable.
But those cravings are so fleeting, they last for about 5 minutes and then voila. They are gone.
My parents visit shows me that I have the strength to hold my own now even at company parties.
This all said, I am sure I have my own personal weakness just as Achilles had his.
The trick is to knowing what it is. I know my own personal triggers and that is a valuable thing to realize about yourself. Stay away from those triggers as much as possible in the beginning. Allow them to come back into your life, one at at time as you gain strength back.
I am slowly becoming the person I feel I was meant to become. It just takes time. I once read "Time is a great healer". It's true.
Last night he was supposed to pick up our share at the farm and some bacon at the butcher shop but unfortunately he did not get off till almost 6pm.
Now, I have an appointment today with my therapist at 3pm and an allergy shot to get so immediately after that I have to fit in the following to pick up the slack:
- Run to commisary. Buy one stalk of celery and then get $60 cash back for the farmers market this weekend. The ATM charges WAY TOO FRIGGIN MUCH.
- Run to the Credit Union, deposit a check.
- Run to the Butcher shop. Pick up bacon. (yeah yeah, I bring home the bacon and I cook it too!
) - Run to the farm. Pick up our share of fruits, veggies, eggs and bread this week.
- Run home. Make dinner.
Yes I know I sound somewhat bitter about that but it does frustrate me. That is the reason many times I give him some of the "run around" type of chores rather than household ones. Because I will get home and still have the mountain of work to do there because he will be sitting at his computer, playing a game.
Oh well.
Not much really to do about that. Other than to soldier on.
Just got done cleaning my keyboard here at work and it feels like new now! The keys actually CLICK now. Still though, it feels all "chemically" with the Lysol wipes I used so I can't wait for that feeling to go away.
Oh, got some good news about my son! My teacher is putting him in another reading class because I guess he reads at a higher level than the other kids! How about them apples, eh!? That really shocked me. The fact that he's still not sitting, paying attention, staying quiet does not. I really have to figure out how to get him to stay still, be quiet and what not in school.
Amusingly enough however, a kid recently told his Mom in front of my husband that my son is considered to be the "cool kid" in class.
Cute.
My cold feels like it is going away slowly with slight pressure in my sinuses, a tiny tickle in my chest, and all over just feeling congested. It probably doesn't help that I wake up each morning at 4am with my husband so I'm missing out on about 1 1/2 hours of sleep every day.
Still though, and this is to all the other current using alcoholics who are looking for yet another reason to quit. YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM WILL IMPROVE IN STRENGTH.
There I said it.
When I was drinking I would get sick and stay sick for about 2 to 3 weeks. Now I caught my sons cold around Sunday, by Monday I was feeling it. Today it's there but barely.
There you go. You figure it out.
If you were once like me, calling in sick because you were sick, miserable, calling in sick because you were hungover and what not. That will all go away because you are no longer POISONING your body with that sh*t.
And that is exactly what it is. Poison. Mighty fine tasting poison but still poison. Well some of it was tasty. On the other hand I can still remember drinking an almost purely gin martini with no olives and grimacing at the taste because now it's warm and it tasted vile and yet I kept drinking because I was looking for that warm feeling, that numb feeling I would get.
I tried for the longest time to say I drank for the "taste" but after about 6 to 8 years that faded and I would drink the nastiest stuff.
Rotgut gin. Rotgut Vodka. God, even now my mouth fills with saliva and not in a good way (think like you're about to vomit type of feeling going on here)
Craziness. Really.
It's amazing now when I look back to 10 months ago where I was. 43 pounds heavier. In a Size 14 almost 16 size pair of pants. Depressed. Sick. Miserable. Addicted. Horrible excuse of a Mom and Wife.
Now, 43 pounds lighter. Size 10 to 12 pants. More or less happy, barely sick at all. And while the demon addiction will follow me around like some demented sick puppy I will never again allow any sort of alcohol pass my lips.
Yes I still cook with wine, brandy, cognac. I use beer in chili. I do use traditionally made vanilla which is vanilla bean steeped usually in vodka.
But I cook those thoroughly and then enjoy the dish with a large wine glass filled with perrier and lemon.
Alcohol is no longer my BFF and most of the time it seems to know it is not, that relationship has been severed.
Every so often I get a craving, mostly when I'm stressed to the max, when my husband and I argue, when I'm feeling miserable.
But those cravings are so fleeting, they last for about 5 minutes and then voila. They are gone.
My parents visit shows me that I have the strength to hold my own now even at company parties.
This all said, I am sure I have my own personal weakness just as Achilles had his.
The trick is to knowing what it is. I know my own personal triggers and that is a valuable thing to realize about yourself. Stay away from those triggers as much as possible in the beginning. Allow them to come back into your life, one at at time as you gain strength back.
I am slowly becoming the person I feel I was meant to become. It just takes time. I once read "Time is a great healer". It's true.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Well - hope your happy and sober today! Made 30 cups os awesome marinara sauce today and froze it in ziploc bags. If I can find good tomatoes this week, I may do it again next week end - not that I've got the hang of it. You are so right.....sure beats Ragu!
My daughter wanted to put a splash of red wine in it for flavor. We didn't have any, but not sure how I feel about that - so proud of my wine free life.
My daughter wanted to put a splash of red wine in it for flavor. We didn't have any, but not sure how I feel about that - so proud of my wine free life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Pond, WTG. Cooking with wine in the past was REALLY a challenge for me but usually if I did it then I planned it on a day and time when I didn't think I would be as stressed so less desire for it.
As it stands, now a days, we usually just buy one really tiny bottle and use the entire thing so that way we don't have to worry about it.
As long as I do not have an opened bottle lying around I don't even think about it.
Even when I was actively drinking I used to feel bad, guilty because I was opening a brand new bottle.
What really irks me?
I discovered that my parents left us 3 bottles of cheaper red wine when they left. I think it was because they drank a bottle or two of our more expensive ones.
Now this is all way after the whole Busch Gardens trip but still it irked me that they left those when I kept telling them I do not drink anymore.
Hell, I came out and told my Dad I had problems with alcohol and that I now abstain.
Oh well, I shouldn't let it bother me. There are more important things to think/worry about.
Like the price of Peppermint Patties! 
This l'il chica is still here, still sober and guess what? I'm going to have a really good week!
As it stands, now a days, we usually just buy one really tiny bottle and use the entire thing so that way we don't have to worry about it.
As long as I do not have an opened bottle lying around I don't even think about it.
Even when I was actively drinking I used to feel bad, guilty because I was opening a brand new bottle.
What really irks me?
I discovered that my parents left us 3 bottles of cheaper red wine when they left. I think it was because they drank a bottle or two of our more expensive ones.
Now this is all way after the whole Busch Gardens trip but still it irked me that they left those when I kept telling them I do not drink anymore.
Hell, I came out and told my Dad I had problems with alcohol and that I now abstain.
Oh well, I shouldn't let it bother me. There are more important things to think/worry about.
Like the price of Peppermint Patties!
This l'il chica is still here, still sober and guess what? I'm going to have a really good week!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Peppermint Patties
I adore peppermint stick ice cream and peppermint bark - both holiday goodies I'm looking forward to! Kind of blew my diet tonight munching on peanuts, mixed with candy corn....tastes just like a Payday candy bar! Still sober
I adore peppermint stick ice cream and peppermint bark - both holiday goodies I'm looking forward to! Kind of blew my diet tonight munching on peanuts, mixed with candy corn....tastes just like a Payday candy bar! Still sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
WHEW!
Okay that was FUN! Here I came here at 8a and it's now 932am. It turned out I got a phone call to change 17 passengers for trips to Australia.
Whew!
All is well, all is good. Last night was pretty productive. I managed to get my son's fruit leather started in the dehydrator, either tonight or tomorrow night we'll start on cherry fruit leather.
I figure we can make cherry, peach, already made apple cinnamon, and I'm thinking strawberry too using up some old jelly I made two years ago.
Still here, still sober and now my mind is in Melbourne Australia. Whew.
Okay that was FUN! Here I came here at 8a and it's now 932am. It turned out I got a phone call to change 17 passengers for trips to Australia.
Whew!
All is well, all is good. Last night was pretty productive. I managed to get my son's fruit leather started in the dehydrator, either tonight or tomorrow night we'll start on cherry fruit leather.
I figure we can make cherry, peach, already made apple cinnamon, and I'm thinking strawberry too using up some old jelly I made two years ago.
Still here, still sober and now my mind is in Melbourne Australia. Whew.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Today is a rush rush.
Busy working on queues, getting customers ticketed, processing orders.
Yesterday I might or might not have made a tactical error. I told one of my coworkers who has a really loud mouth (she's not exactly loud but she has a tendency to tell everyone everything, especially if it seems incredibly juicy) that from here on in I will NOT be taking any LWOP.
I can tell my boss and coworkers are not fond of me taking it, even though it helps the office. So guess what? I'm not going to take it anymore. Even when my boss is looking for people to take it.
With business going the way it is, boss lady is going to be having to make it mandatory after a while, and while I'll take it if it's mandatory I will no longer take a day here or there to help the office. So guess what? All the other coworkers here will have to suck it up, take the pay cut on their paycheck and if they don't like it? Well friggin quit.
As it was, this past winter I took it non stop to run to appointments and what not and only ONE other employee actually pulled me aside and said "Thanks". The rest got angry at me for taking LWOP even though I saved them from having to take LWOP (aka PAYCUT)
So I told a coworker this yesterday when she was ranting to me via IM. I don't know if this will come back to bite me or not. Time will tell.
Last night, didn't manage to get the next batch of fruit leather done, but I did get one stalk of celery dehydrated.
I dehydrate many of our excess veggies to be used later in soups or casseroles. These last for a really long time so I find them handy to have on hand.
Oh and last night DS and I had pizza which was nice but it did make me gain a lb this morning. It's all good though. Still at 43 lbs weight loss.
14 lbs to go.
Soon we'll be out of allergy season and some of my energy will return.
Busy working on queues, getting customers ticketed, processing orders.
Yesterday I might or might not have made a tactical error. I told one of my coworkers who has a really loud mouth (she's not exactly loud but she has a tendency to tell everyone everything, especially if it seems incredibly juicy) that from here on in I will NOT be taking any LWOP.
I can tell my boss and coworkers are not fond of me taking it, even though it helps the office. So guess what? I'm not going to take it anymore. Even when my boss is looking for people to take it.
With business going the way it is, boss lady is going to be having to make it mandatory after a while, and while I'll take it if it's mandatory I will no longer take a day here or there to help the office. So guess what? All the other coworkers here will have to suck it up, take the pay cut on their paycheck and if they don't like it? Well friggin quit.
As it was, this past winter I took it non stop to run to appointments and what not and only ONE other employee actually pulled me aside and said "Thanks". The rest got angry at me for taking LWOP even though I saved them from having to take LWOP (aka PAYCUT)
So I told a coworker this yesterday when she was ranting to me via IM. I don't know if this will come back to bite me or not. Time will tell.
Last night, didn't manage to get the next batch of fruit leather done, but I did get one stalk of celery dehydrated.
I dehydrate many of our excess veggies to be used later in soups or casseroles. These last for a really long time so I find them handy to have on hand.
Oh and last night DS and I had pizza which was nice but it did make me gain a lb this morning. It's all good though. Still at 43 lbs weight loss.
14 lbs to go.
Soon we'll be out of allergy season and some of my energy will return.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
OMG last night was so busy but OMG I got so much done and I even got some relax and unwind time in.
Came home, started dinner (super easy. Leftover Spaghetti sauce and noodles). Helped son with homework. Canned one quart whole tomatoes, put the dried celery away.
Son and I ate dinner (remember, hubby is away on TDY right now training), then got yet another batch of fruit leather started which entailed peeling apples which I did while watching the new tv show Revolution.
Got those started in the crockpot and then just picked up my knitting and relaxed. Nice.
Still though, I know I need to start reading Amish novels or something like that again because lately I've been reading apocolyptic type of books and it's disturbing my sleep a bit. I keep having dreams where I'm asking myself "do I have enough food put away?", "do I have enough batteries?" etc etc.
Silly.
Allergies are starting to kick my butt as now my skin is breaking out non stop and I'm developing sores in my nose and my eyes and nose are always running.
Ragweed is pretty bad for me and it's kicking up now.
Ragweed affects me in so many different ways, from the sores, to runny noses, to watery eyes, asthma, coughing and even worse. Migraines.
Still though the good news is I have a secret weapon now against the migraines that I made sure to keep on hand this year. A feverfew plant! It's a pretty little plant that produces nice pretty flowers but unbeknownst to many if you eat just a few leaves it will get rid of your headache. It contains salicylic acid which is the active ingredient in aspirin. Just FYI, another good remedy for aches and pains is white willow bark which also contains salicylic acid.
Tonight we (son and I) have another busy night as we've got to head on over to the farm to pick up our share. My God I hope onions, broccoli and green beans are part of this weeks share. Some Maple syrup would be good too. Please God let winter squash NOT be part of this weeks share.
Our winter crooknecks are pushing up production so we will be eating A LOT of squash this winter. I have to see if I can dry squash and reconstitute it later. We have currently on the floor in our dining room, one festival squash, 2 black futsu, 1 crookneck, and 2 acorn squash. We currently have on our vines about 7 total squashes now, each one at a different part of growing but 3 of them will be the Marina di Chioggia, and the rest so far are the Winter crookneck. UGGGHH. That is my mission for today. To find recipes using winter squash.
Oh and still here, still sober and oh so busy.
Came home, started dinner (super easy. Leftover Spaghetti sauce and noodles). Helped son with homework. Canned one quart whole tomatoes, put the dried celery away.
Son and I ate dinner (remember, hubby is away on TDY right now training), then got yet another batch of fruit leather started which entailed peeling apples which I did while watching the new tv show Revolution.
Got those started in the crockpot and then just picked up my knitting and relaxed. Nice.
Still though, I know I need to start reading Amish novels or something like that again because lately I've been reading apocolyptic type of books and it's disturbing my sleep a bit. I keep having dreams where I'm asking myself "do I have enough food put away?", "do I have enough batteries?" etc etc.
Silly.
Allergies are starting to kick my butt as now my skin is breaking out non stop and I'm developing sores in my nose and my eyes and nose are always running.
Ragweed is pretty bad for me and it's kicking up now.
Ragweed affects me in so many different ways, from the sores, to runny noses, to watery eyes, asthma, coughing and even worse. Migraines.
Still though the good news is I have a secret weapon now against the migraines that I made sure to keep on hand this year. A feverfew plant! It's a pretty little plant that produces nice pretty flowers but unbeknownst to many if you eat just a few leaves it will get rid of your headache. It contains salicylic acid which is the active ingredient in aspirin. Just FYI, another good remedy for aches and pains is white willow bark which also contains salicylic acid.
Tonight we (son and I) have another busy night as we've got to head on over to the farm to pick up our share. My God I hope onions, broccoli and green beans are part of this weeks share. Some Maple syrup would be good too. Please God let winter squash NOT be part of this weeks share.
Our winter crooknecks are pushing up production so we will be eating A LOT of squash this winter. I have to see if I can dry squash and reconstitute it later. We have currently on the floor in our dining room, one festival squash, 2 black futsu, 1 crookneck, and 2 acorn squash. We currently have on our vines about 7 total squashes now, each one at a different part of growing but 3 of them will be the Marina di Chioggia, and the rest so far are the Winter crookneck. UGGGHH. That is my mission for today. To find recipes using winter squash.
Oh and still here, still sober and oh so busy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
Lots of new blogs up by the way.
How does our garden Grow
How does our garden Grow
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,458
UGGGH. Okay first and foremost, if there is anything I hate more it's being talked down to like a child. My coworker did that to me this morning in a very condecending manner. That added icing to my cake.
Next however, last night. First, had to leave work at 430p(normal time) to pick up our CSA share at the farm. In the meanwhile I told my Mom of my decision to no longer LWOP which she then lectured me about saying I should never even take 30 minutes unpaid time off because that is XX amount of dollars lost. I somewhat yelled back "well it helps keep my sanity, because then no matter what I still have THIS amount of things to do when I get back".
Hubby reminded me that my Mom never worked full time with young children and then on top of that my Mom never did the things I currently do. (growing a big garden, canning a lot of our food, preserving a lot of what we get, etc etc)
Still though, then a coworker tells me this morning when I am complaining that it took 2 hours to complete my sons homework last night that maybe I need to not do as much then. Uh on Thursdays first I'm not doing a whole lot, and I didn't plan to get that much done. But that being said 2 FRIGGIN HOURS? Really? For a 1st grader???
Okay whatever.
TGIF.
Oh and I'm still here, still sober and very proud that this morning I got some fresh popcorn popped, some cherry fruit leather in the dehydrator, fed my son some cereal with raisins, got my breakfast and lunch together and picked up the house. Whew.
Oh and the teacher just answered back. We don't have to do the assignment we have been doing that has been taking 2 hours on Thursdays!
WHOOPEEE!!!
Next however, last night. First, had to leave work at 430p(normal time) to pick up our CSA share at the farm. In the meanwhile I told my Mom of my decision to no longer LWOP which she then lectured me about saying I should never even take 30 minutes unpaid time off because that is XX amount of dollars lost. I somewhat yelled back "well it helps keep my sanity, because then no matter what I still have THIS amount of things to do when I get back".
Hubby reminded me that my Mom never worked full time with young children and then on top of that my Mom never did the things I currently do. (growing a big garden, canning a lot of our food, preserving a lot of what we get, etc etc)
Still though, then a coworker tells me this morning when I am complaining that it took 2 hours to complete my sons homework last night that maybe I need to not do as much then. Uh on Thursdays first I'm not doing a whole lot, and I didn't plan to get that much done. But that being said 2 FRIGGIN HOURS? Really? For a 1st grader???
Okay whatever.
TGIF.
Oh and I'm still here, still sober and very proud that this morning I got some fresh popcorn popped, some cherry fruit leather in the dehydrator, fed my son some cereal with raisins, got my breakfast and lunch together and picked up the house. Whew.
Oh and the teacher just answered back. We don't have to do the assignment we have been doing that has been taking 2 hours on Thursdays!
WHOOPEEE!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Munch,
Took a look at your blog. How do you grow garlic and when do you plant it? I love fresh garlic and notice the kind I buy at the farmer's market are much better than fresh I buy at the grocery store.
I made more spaghetti sauce with a half bushel tomatoes I bought the other day - different variety this time.
Took a look at your blog. How do you grow garlic and when do you plant it? I love fresh garlic and notice the kind I buy at the farmer's market are much better than fresh I buy at the grocery store.
I made more spaghetti sauce with a half bushel tomatoes I bought the other day - different variety this time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Munch,
This post makes your thread at 499!!!!
My spaghetti sauce yesterday turned out flavorful, but is thinner. I made a note to add some tomato paste to it upon thawing.
Enjoyed a great sober week end, filled with long walks and cooking. Husband has lost 28 lbs and I've lost 16. Still crave candy, and do eat some sweet, but getting better.
This post makes your thread at 499!!!!
My spaghetti sauce yesterday turned out flavorful, but is thinner. I made a note to add some tomato paste to it upon thawing.
Enjoyed a great sober week end, filled with long walks and cooking. Husband has lost 28 lbs and I've lost 16. Still crave candy, and do eat some sweet, but getting better.
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Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Time to move to new premises 
we continue here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
D
we continue here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
D
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