Hi...Recovering alcoholic here
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 50
Hi...Recovering alcoholic here
Hi everyone
This is the first post I have ever made here. I've been reading this forum every day for a few months now and I'd like to say "thank you" to the members of this forum. You have been helping me on an almost daily basis without ever realising it.
I'm KarrieJay and I started my recovery on 9th August. My last drink was the day before that, which means I have been sober for 131 days as of today's date.
This has not been my first attempt at sobriety. It's not even the longest time I have ever been sober (I managed for 9 months once). But there is something different this time - I feel stronger in my sobriety now than I ever felt in my previous attempts.
So what's the difference this time? The difference is support. In my previous attempts I always tried to quit without any assistance, and the result was that I was just biding my time - trying to "control" my drinking with a period of sobriety, but basically just waiting until I felt able to manage the next drink. Inevitably I drank again, and each time this happened I drank worse than I had before. This time, I haven't tried to do it on my own. I've realised that alcohol has too much power over me, so I have sought the help of other (sober) alcoholics. I've joined AA, and I read this forum at some point every day. Both things have helped me immeasurably because they changed my mindset. This time, I am not just "seeing how long I can last" - I've pretty much accepted that I cannot drink and have made a commitment not to.
In the first few days this forum and AA gave me hope and in subsequent days they provided support and served as a caution against complacency. Through both mediums I was witnessing people who had achieved sobriety and been happy in their life. I had always thought that a happy life without alcohol was a contradiction in terms. Slowly, the message sank in that I am an alcoholic and I have no power over alcohol - it is an uncontrollable substance for me. It's such a simple fact. I'm astonished that it took so long for me to be aware of it - but that is the power that alcohol had over me. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, I had spent years believing that if I could just work out how to do it, I could drink like a normal person. I now know that I am not a person who can ever do that.
I have been happier and more contented in the last 130 days than I have been in years. I have more energy, I look better, I sleep better and I have regained my dignity and my self respect. My relationship with my husband and other family members is immeasurably improved. I can manage life in a way that was impossible for me before. My life has not been compromised by giving up drinking - it has just got better and better. I am now looking forward to the future in a way that I haven't done for years. I don't want to lose what I have now, and I realise that all it takes to make it come crashing down is to have that first drink. It would be too high a price to pay.
Thank you SoberRecovery for being here. You have no idea how much help it has been - and continues to be - to be able to read of your messages full of experience, widsom and hope. Just knowing that there are other people who have suffered the darkness that I have and come out the other side makes me feel less alone.
It's been a long old post for my first one. I don't normally ramble on as much as I have here, but I really wanted you all to know where I am now because of you and how grateful I am for the help you have given me.
This is the first post I have ever made here. I've been reading this forum every day for a few months now and I'd like to say "thank you" to the members of this forum. You have been helping me on an almost daily basis without ever realising it.
I'm KarrieJay and I started my recovery on 9th August. My last drink was the day before that, which means I have been sober for 131 days as of today's date.
This has not been my first attempt at sobriety. It's not even the longest time I have ever been sober (I managed for 9 months once). But there is something different this time - I feel stronger in my sobriety now than I ever felt in my previous attempts.
So what's the difference this time? The difference is support. In my previous attempts I always tried to quit without any assistance, and the result was that I was just biding my time - trying to "control" my drinking with a period of sobriety, but basically just waiting until I felt able to manage the next drink. Inevitably I drank again, and each time this happened I drank worse than I had before. This time, I haven't tried to do it on my own. I've realised that alcohol has too much power over me, so I have sought the help of other (sober) alcoholics. I've joined AA, and I read this forum at some point every day. Both things have helped me immeasurably because they changed my mindset. This time, I am not just "seeing how long I can last" - I've pretty much accepted that I cannot drink and have made a commitment not to.
In the first few days this forum and AA gave me hope and in subsequent days they provided support and served as a caution against complacency. Through both mediums I was witnessing people who had achieved sobriety and been happy in their life. I had always thought that a happy life without alcohol was a contradiction in terms. Slowly, the message sank in that I am an alcoholic and I have no power over alcohol - it is an uncontrollable substance for me. It's such a simple fact. I'm astonished that it took so long for me to be aware of it - but that is the power that alcohol had over me. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, I had spent years believing that if I could just work out how to do it, I could drink like a normal person. I now know that I am not a person who can ever do that.
I have been happier and more contented in the last 130 days than I have been in years. I have more energy, I look better, I sleep better and I have regained my dignity and my self respect. My relationship with my husband and other family members is immeasurably improved. I can manage life in a way that was impossible for me before. My life has not been compromised by giving up drinking - it has just got better and better. I am now looking forward to the future in a way that I haven't done for years. I don't want to lose what I have now, and I realise that all it takes to make it come crashing down is to have that first drink. It would be too high a price to pay.
Thank you SoberRecovery for being here. You have no idea how much help it has been - and continues to be - to be able to read of your messages full of experience, widsom and hope. Just knowing that there are other people who have suffered the darkness that I have and come out the other side makes me feel less alone.
It's been a long old post for my first one. I don't normally ramble on as much as I have here, but I really wanted you all to know where I am now because of you and how grateful I am for the help you have given me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Fenris 
That's awesome KarrieJay. Thank you so much for posting that. Seeing other people achieve happiness in sobriety is always an inspiration to me. Please keep coming back and posting.
I'm overwhelmed sometimes by how good life is now. And all it took was the certain realisation that I can't drink. Once I'd accepted that alcohol wasn't an option for me, I stopped being obsessed by it. It was like finding the answer to a puzzle I'd been trying to solve for years.
You guys gave me that. You, and the members of AA.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 50
Thanks to all of you for being so welcoming.
Like I say, I've been lurking for a few months now because I found this forum so helpful. Today, it kinda felt like it was about time I said "thanks".
Like I say, I've been lurking for a few months now because I found this forum so helpful. Today, it kinda felt like it was about time I said "thanks".
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
It's great to have you here with us. I agree - not feeling alone was huge. I never dreamed there could be so many others just like me. Welcome to your new and beautiful life KarrieJay. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
HI KarrieJay,
Well, we have something in common - my first sober day was August 10, just one day behind you! I have been sober for 8 years then 9 years, then started drinking again 4 years ago, and feel fortunate to have lived through that craziness. The difference in my life is night and day. Please keep posting - love your positivity!
Well, we have something in common - my first sober day was August 10, just one day behind you! I have been sober for 8 years then 9 years, then started drinking again 4 years ago, and feel fortunate to have lived through that craziness. The difference in my life is night and day. Please keep posting - love your positivity!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
KarrieJay:
What a wonderful holiday present you've given us by your post! Congratulations! It's really so wonderful that you thought we might have helped you! Your message is an inspiration to all of us and we send you every good wish. Like you I found I could not do it alone, not without some kind of support. Folks differ as to what kind of support is best for them and that's O.K. The main thing is getting the job done. And you've gone a long way towards doing that. The first few months are always the toughest. Again congratulations and good luck!
W.
What a wonderful holiday present you've given us by your post! Congratulations! It's really so wonderful that you thought we might have helped you! Your message is an inspiration to all of us and we send you every good wish. Like you I found I could not do it alone, not without some kind of support. Folks differ as to what kind of support is best for them and that's O.K. The main thing is getting the job done. And you've gone a long way towards doing that. The first few months are always the toughest. Again congratulations and good luck!
W.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
What a post Karrie! Congrats!
I have also gotten so much out of AA and this site. It is so much more than just not drinking. Once we stop drinking, we are still stuck with us. AA and this site teach us how to live a wonderful life without the alcohol.
Great job!
I have also gotten so much out of AA and this site. It is so much more than just not drinking. Once we stop drinking, we are still stuck with us. AA and this site teach us how to live a wonderful life without the alcohol.
Great job!
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