Geralt

60 days for me today! The last two months I have been avoiding going out, pubs, clubs, parties and birthdays. I felt like I wouldn't have any fun without alcohol.

But I think it would be fun to go out again; this time sober. Enjoy the music, have a good conversation, meet new people without the embarrassment of a black-out or the hangover next day.

So when did you start being socially active again at places where people drink alcohol? And how did you deal with cravings or other people offering you drinks?

Dominica2

Congrats on the 60 days Geralt!

Fenris

Awesome Geralt, congrats on 60! It's really up to you when you feel comfortable enough to go out -- nobody knows you like you know yourself. Two months wasn't enough for me to go anywhere that alcohol was such a central part of everything, like a bar or club, but everyone's different. If you decide to test yourself, just be cautious about it, and have an exit strategy planned just in case.

--Fenris.

Ariesdch

10.08.2011 (October for the Europeans), so I'm a week ahead of you LOL.

This is NOT for everyone; someone already PM'd me and told me so. However, this is MY plan. I'm not going anywhere, if at all possible, to any place that serves liquor. The temptation and risk, TO ME, is just far too great.

It's all too easy to get some sober time under your belt and succumb to that voice in your head "Oh, I can handle it this time". Yeah, I tried that. Didn't work. I'm just getting clean from my 2nd 10-year slide into hell

I won't risk it; that's my choice LOL Your mileage may vary. Stick with it. Good Luck. Don't be tempted by the Dark Side!

Sober Me

Jeans

Hi there
I'm not sober (YET) so I'd be interested to see what responses you get for this. Also I wanted to say congratulations for going so long. Maybe it would be best to ease your way into the nights out slowly?

Good luck

Geralt

Thanks for your support. I should have added that I take Antabuse, so there is no danger that I will drink during the social event. It will be more of a mental test.

Dee74

When I felt secure in my commitment and when I knew I wanted to be sober more than any situation or temptation I might face

you know better than any of us if you're at that point Geralt

congrats on 60

D

lyle

that's some thing that has to come form you. At 60 days there was no way i would put my self in that situation.im around those that drink maybe once a week and if they ask i just say no. but i do need to be in the right state of mind to be around it.. And congregations on your 60 days.
Lyle

onlythetruth

Congrats on your 60 days.

I went to my first party (class reunion) at about 3 weeks. It was tough, but not as bad as I thought it would be. The next event was at about 6 weeks, and then a whole bunch of parties because it was the holidays.

But these were not blow out alcoholic parties, they were social-drinker parties....I'd never have gone out to a place where people were getting loaded.

serious

congrats on 60 days!

i think it's a great question, because i have been in the same boat. one biggest fear was that being in a social situation would prompt me to be my regular old self and get properly drunk...
it hasn't happened in half a year and because of my lifestyle i am at social gatherings of some sort quite often, where there is plenty of booze.

i had excuses galore ready... from being a designated driver to having to get up really early or taking some random medication, etc. eventually i realized that nobody is going to put a gun to my head to have a drink (and if that happens i'll take that drink, i guess). i mean worst case? ... run away, and come back in 10 minutes and tell your friends you just went for a jog, the conversation will shift from alcohol pretty quickly

eJoshua

I don't know, but I'm not planning on going to any bars, pubs, clubs or anything like that at all at any point. Frankly, being the sober guy when everyone else is drinking is terribly boring. I don't really have friends anymore whose sole form of entertainment involves heavy drinking.

Parties or birthdays? I don't know, I guess it depends on the kind of party you're talking about. If people were getting drunk there then I wouldn't have any interest in going, nor would I choose to go if I did find that interesting. If it's a party where alcohol is not the main attraction but there happens to be people drinking there then I would feel comfortable going and might even be able to enjoy myself.

In order for me to get sober and stay sober I had to make big changes in my life. One of those changes was choosing not to be around heavy alcohol consumption any longer. Sure, at first I felt like I was being left out, but after a while I found that I didn't really have any interest in being around those kind of people in those kinds of situations any more because it got to the point where alcohol just kind of disgusts me.

Dee74

You just reminded me of one of my bugbears Serious

I had to get over my mindset of 'it's ok if I don't get drunk' before I re-entered society...

because if my history taught be anything that's not really in my power.

I could get 'lucky' sometimes sure & drink like a gentleman, but I could never count on luck - luck always ran out for me.

It's not that 10th drink that gets me in trouble, it's actually the first.

D

LaFemme

Congrats on 60 days.

I had reunion at about 5 weeks so that was my first real event. Even though the focus wasn't on alcohol I did get a little pressure to drink from one guy who kept trying to buy me a drink. That was awkward and uncomfortable, but otherwise it was fine but I felt very solid going into the situation and I had a bunch of friends here on SR who said I could call them if I needed support (I didn't but it was good to know it was there)

Surlyredhead

I went to treatment inpatient for 90 days, then I stayed at the treatment center after I completed and worked for a small stipend and room and board(I had no where to go), I stayed for over a year and a half so I got quite comfortable living in a dry community, even though I could go out alone and on weekends with permission.
It took me quite a while to get back "out there". I was scared to death. It took others in recovery to help me transition back into the real world. Baby steps for me, I remember when I got my first apartment sober, I walked to the corner store and I saw someone take a drink out of a half pint in a paper bag, I actually started to retch.
Fast forward a few 24 hours, I can now go pretty much anywhere and I don't get the urge to drink...but I don't usually go to clubs or bars....that part of my life is in the past. It doesn't bother me at all to go to a picnic where there is drinking, it usually reminds me why I don't drink any more!!!

Cathy

EmeraldRose

Congratulations on your 60 days.
Im 11 months in right now and haven't made an effort to dip into the social pool yet. Guess I really don't care to. I just moved a month ago (to be closer to family) and haven't met alot of people yet so I have no one tempting me either. A few co-workers said we should go out but I never made an effort to take them up on it.
Today I was down due to divorce schtuff and just got back from visiting and hugging my Grandson. I feel better now.

Eddiebuckle

Congrats on 60 days! For me, I was OK in a restaurant setting after a couple of months, but it took me awhile to feel OK in an environment where most people were drinking. I would say to go out and enjoy yourself, but be mindful of how your brain reacts - if you get a little squirrelly or feel that "tug", get out of there!

mattparadise

Immediately. In any drinking situation I just said that I was driving or that a coke was just fine.

Sapling

Congrats on 60 days. I'm coming up on 6 months without a drink or drug and I haven't gone to any pubs or bars yet. I had to ask myself...How important is my sobriety to me? Is there something I can gain for my sobriety by hanging out in a bar?....Other than testing myself to see if I can do it....Not really.
I tend to do things and go places where alcohol is not the focus...Plus I just got rid of all my old drinking buddies...Don't really see a point in meeting new ones. I've made a lot of friends in AA and I tend to get together and go out with them. We can all get together in a pizza parlor or bar where they serve alcohol and watch some football, laugh....Just live normally...Without drinking. It's kind of nice hanging out with very cool people that are just like me and want the same thing I want. It could be safety in numbers...Don't really care...I enjoy it.
I don't know what a good time for you to go to bars is...I don't even know the answer to that for myself. I kind of like the rule...If it's something that I have to be there for...I won't shy away from it....But I'm not going to just do it to see if I can. Good luck to you and just remember...Don't drink.

tiger1

If you must do this, and I am not saying you should, then take someone with you who knows you don't drink anymore and why, if possible.

If you feel the urge to drink and it is overpowering then tell them. Support is very important. Get them to remind you of all the reasons why you shouldn't pick up that first drink.

A problem shared is a problem halved.

I do have to go into situations where others are drinking. I can't really avoid it in my work and family life, although I try to cut it to a minimum.

It's only been sixty days for me, but I actually get a kick out of staying stone cold sober whilst people around me are drinking (sensibly or not). That's probably risky behaviour on my part, but I like to be close to the edge. I will never drink again.

One thing I do notice is how many people drink more than they should. I'm not judging as I am the one with the problem (how could I ? Mr 'Two bottles of Pinot a night'), but this evil poison is a pandemic.

phil

First of all congrats on 6 months awesome job. I think for many of us we want to resume a sense of normal back into ourlives and yes its important as well. This is a very genuine question here that many of us ask. All boils down to each individual's personal responsibilty. Will power plays a huge part of our daily sobriety, while never should be tested its often challenged. I would encourage you to use caution but do what you feel. If you know you want to be sober more than the alternative? I know what the answer for me is.