Brainsoup

This thought has been naggin at me for sometime. I m only 3 days sober but I keep thinkin about people I know who can use and still maintain happiness and control. I would love for this to be true because it would mean I could still get high every now and then but still be able to live a life of happiness and control.

collegegirl

For me, no. I have those same feelings, where I would love to just have those OCCASIONAL drinking sessions like normal people, but it's not possible for me. Even at work lunches, where having one or two drinks is normal, I would have one or two and then obsess about when I could leave work and continue drinking. I think it's a very personal thing, and only you know your limits. Congrats on day 3, that's always the hardest day for me.

Fenris

Controlled use is absolutely possible -- for people who are not alcoholics or addicts. For us, the saying is "You can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber", meaning once you cross that line into addiction, you can't go back to "normal use". If you're a pickle, there's no point in trying to be a cucumber any more.

--Fenris.

Tigger41

Good job on Day 3. Wish I could control it, you know "moderation"

But I guess if I could I wouldn't be here LOL.

Dee74

I finally accepted I'm not like other people - and every day now I'm glad I gave up that 20 year struggle.

Have you tried to control things before brainsoup?

D

jocata

From the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."

I have tried to control my drugging and drinking in the past as well but I have always failed miserably. For me, I have to stay away completely.

least

Nope, not for me. I'm an alkie and cannot control my drinking. Tried many times and always failed. Now it's easier to not drink at all than it would be to try to 'control' it. Besides, I like my sober life too much to give it up for drinking, which only makes me sick and sad.

LovesToTravel

I think that we would all love to be "normal". I was at a family Christmas party last night and people were drinking. I know that I wouldn't be happy at just one or two drinks and that is not normal to want more so it is better to just have none.....

Good Luck to you 3 days is fabulous!

Brainsoup

I tried to quit before and failed but never tried to quit and then once the addiction is broken go back and try to control it. The most control I have ever had over my use was when I had to hide from my gf. That ain't SELFcontrol.

mwstylee

I used to think so, but after trying HUNDREDS of times to drink normal, every single time turned into a drink-til-blackout, multi-day bender, or both. I have honestly never had just "1" drink, or just 2, 3, 4, or 5 for that matter.

sissy07

Not for me - I am an alcoholic 100%. I wasted years trying to drink moderately, and all it got me was heartache, loss of friends, loss of self-respect, loss of good health, loss of opportunties....the list goes on. And I think I got off easy.

One of my prayers used to be that I could drink moderately. But after many trials and tragic consequences I accept that alcohol makes me miserable, and will eventually kill me if I decide to ever drink again. There are many natural, real ways to make yourself happy - genuinely happy.

CRAZE

Some folks can. I used to think I was one of em through 17 years of heavy drinking. Always found a way to convince myself I had control of my drinking. Unfortunatly for me it took a series of bad situations for me to realize I was not.
Having to ask the question may be the first red flag.

Dee74

I don't believe addictions like ours are ever broken - not like that.

I see enough posts and hear enough stories about people who drink again after a year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years - and they end up exactly in the same dark place they left.

I know one man - not here - who went back after 27 years.

My advice - if you really want to break the addiction, brainsoup - don't drink again.

D

JimH

I agree with the others. After trying many times to "cut back", even trying info found on hamsnetwork.org I wound up worse than starting. They do have good info on withdrawal and what to expect, but most like us find out that if you can control the drinking, you wouldn't be in the current situation.

Things will get better. Just take it one day at a time, and if you fall down, brush it off and get back on track right away.
Good Luck.

Cascabel

I quit, totally, for over thirty years. Then, during a stressful family health issue I started drinking again. I am still struggling to quit again. The addiction wasn't broken, in fact, it wasn't even bent. In my opinion, it doesn't matter how long you have quit, if you are an alcoholic, you can never go back to being a social or controlled drinker. It is just a fact you'll have to deal with.

Dee74

and although most of us here are talking about alcohol, I believe the same applies to any drug, brainsoup.

I smoked pot for 20 years - I wouldn't open that door again either.

Life is good, I'm happy for the first time in my adult life, I've conquered a lot of demons and I can look myself in the eyes in the mirror again.

I have no need to mess with that and I have no need to go back and dabble

You're working on freeing yourself from the chains of addiction - keep at it, and don't settle for second best

D

VoiceinmyHead

I am able to drink in moderation, except my idea of moderation is about 12 pints a day. The funny part is I always start at 1 and before I know it 6,7,8 and so on. I just can not have a couple. I am jealous of those who can, but it is just not me.

littlefish

The thought of "controlling drinking" never enters the mind of normal drinkers. It is simply something they never have to think of because the situation never arises. They never think: "Oh, I am drinking too much". Because they don't drink too much.
What I am trying to say is that it is only a problem drinker who formulates the plan to control drinking.

As an alcoholic, who ALWAYS experienced the thought that I was drinking wrongly and too much, the thought of controlling was seductive. Have my poison and drink it too?
Yay! I thought, what a brilliant idea: I rolled up my sleeves and put my plan into action by uncorking a few bottles of wine.

A few binges later I had to admit what I already knew from the start, that I couldn't control once I'd had the first drink.

To be honest, it worked sometimes when I ran out of booze and couldn't buy more. But, was that my control or the hours of the liquor store? And, worse....with the control came an unearthly mental obsession for alcohol that was as sick if not more than the drinking itself.

eJoshua

For me it's not possible, no.

RV GTO

Speaking from an alcoholic's perspective, it is completely impossible for me to moderate. One or two drinks simply give me a headache - it's don't drink or get insanely drunk.

I simply can't drink at all and that devil hanging on my shoulder will always be there.