MsJax

Not for me. I'm an alcoholic. I'm ok with that.

Change4good

I am struggling with this right now. I read stories about how people who don't "taper" suffer horrible withdrawals. I can taper, meaning I will drink only two or three to stave off possible negative effects.

That said, I stop, but want more. So that is addictive thinking. And it sucks to moderate. I look forward to losing that concern.

Welcome, and best to you. Only you know what will work, and you have support no matter what path you choose.

Bianca105

Thank you Sissy

I have tried to moderate my drinking twice in the past year, can't do it. And I can't keep worrying about what other people can do. It's pointless.
(Also, those moderate drinkers might not be moderate drinkers at all, you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors, so don't judge yourself next to them, just go with your experience.)

The worst part about drinking is that it had started making me deeply unhappy, anxious about my future, I would get drunk and ruminate about missed opportunities... I wasn't really "high" anymore, just wasted.

There ARE natural ways to be happy! Never would have believed it. The other night my boyfriend was showing me some funny youtube video and I laughed so hard, he kept playing it for me, he'd never heard me laugh like that.

Brainsoup, best wishes to you.

soberjim

Brainsoup...read...read the posts here of those who have given up alcohol for 90 days, 2 year ect. The common theme is a constant desire to drink more and more. The way that they have come to terms with the use of alcohol is to stop completely.

I too am struggling with this issue. My 'journey" began about 1 month ago with the desire to stop for 30 days. Well I have not been successful with that part of the journey.

What I can say, is that alcohol has a stronger influence over me than I originally thought. I now know, from repeated failure that the first drink leads to a tomorrow of regret and disappointment, along with a hangover.

I first viewed my issue as one of reduction. I thought 'come on its not really that bad'. Well I have not made it 30 days. Apparently it is tougher than I thought. I am taking it one day at a time.

I read the posts of those who have given up alcohol and are in a better place.

I don't think you can have it both ways. But I wish you success. I know I can't.

Jim

EmeraldRose

I had complete control over my drinking until it took me in a head lock and flipped me over and took control over my life. I had to completely remove it from my life. No moderation, no 'one more try', no 'let me just see'...I can't drink!

susanlauren

If I could drink moderately, I would be drinking moderately. It isn't going to happen for me -- not in this lifetime, anyway. If you can do it, my hat is off to you. My suggestion is to give up all alcohol for 30 days and see how it goes. If you can't go 30 days without a drink, then you have some critical information about yourself. Susan Lauren

Fenris

Everyone gets there at their own pace, but eventually every problem drinker seems to realize that there are only two options: Either to continue the progressively worsening cycle of drinking-consequences-remorse/guilt/shame; or complete abstinence. I've yet to hear of any alcoholic that's learned a way to "moderate" his intake -- if such a person existed, I think we would have beat a path to his door. For me, even though I had experience with alcoholism through family members, had gone to inpatient and outpatient treatment, attended an AA meeting pretty much every day -- in short, had basically had it beaten into my head that abstinence was the only answer -- I still had to try to find loopholes, ways to drink without consequence, and experience demoralizing failure for myself. That's how powerful the mental obsession is. I don't have to live like that today, but it took a while to find that acceptance.

--Fenris.

mattparadise

Controlled use certainly is possible. I don't really recommend that you try it though.

RobbyRobot

Happiness is never found in a bottle or in a pill or in some smoke.

Happiness is never found in control either.

Its true, in my early days as a drunk, that my drinking did create a smile on my face, and I felt something like happiness, so I thought.

And its also true that being in control of whatever is a powerful experience that feels good and fills my mind with a clarity that is addictive.

Its also true that alcoholism beat me up stupid while I was chasing seductive delusions of controlled drinking. I didn't notice that to keep up with the delusions I had to drink more and more often. The happiness seemed to fade unless I had a buzz on. So much for controlled drinking.

What I was really ending up *trying* controlling was not my drinking, but my drunks. Not easy to control a drunk, you know? There is just a wrongness on so many levels with controlled drinking.

But, we all have to experience for ourselves eventually the real cost of our delusions, which at the time dont seem deluded at all. We learn by experience, and the buck stops with us.

Sober living gives me the happiness I sought. As for the control, I traded that in for responsibility. It works better anyways, and feels better too, you know?

WhoDey

I'm on Day 29. The first week I had some very strong feelings about learning how to drink with moderation. In fact, those feelings were stronger than the urges I had to have an immediate drink. Odd, but true. I can say that right now that the desire to drink with moderation has diminished, but it is still there.

I think a big part of my feelings were related to grieving over losing alcohol. When something was such a central aspect of one's life, it is difficult to imagine life without it.

I, of course, don't know how I'll feel in the coming weeks, but I gave myself the goal of 30 days without a drink. Now that I'm almost there, I really don't want to go back to drinking. Yes, I miss it, but I'm also very aware of how much better the past 30 days have been drink-free.

Good luck ... hang in there and give yourself time!

instant

I have found a great way to do this that does not involve drinking, or having a desire to drink.

Drinking and happiness were mutually exclusive for me for a long time.

lyle

For me no. Here is my experience real fast i had 6 years sober when i got married i thought u know im married i can have a drink or two well that was all good for the day then it hit me harder then ever.and it lasted for all most ten years. I have four years now and know i cant drink at all. Just a little of my experience.
Lyle

Frankie12

I am new to SR, this is my second time browsing the forum, and I like what I see.

This is a good thread for my introduction, because the mistaken idea that I could "control" my drinking is what has been my downfall again and again.

Over the past few years I have tried to quit several times, and quitting has always been the easy part for me. Then, after a few weeks, one time it was after three months, I started telling myself that I was fine now, I could just have a drink or two. Each time that drink or two has led to more.

I have a life long history with mild depression, alcohol makes it worse. The day after a binge, I am not only hungover, but even more depressed with my self confidence shredded.

When I don't drink I am happier, and have a lot more self confidence and energy.

I am ready to try again now. I know I don't need to try the 30 days first, have already been there and done that.
Controlled use is not possible for me.

soberjim

Thanks for the post Frankie12...Welcome!

quitforme79

Never worked for me and I tried MANY times. Sure, every now and then I was able to have one and leave it, when I knew I had to drive. Otherwise, I started with one which turned into until the bottle was empty of I was passed out. Maybe "problem" drinkers can turn it around and be able to do that, I'm not sure. But for me, I need to stay 100% away

Dee74

Welcome to SR Frankie

D

Elly40

There's no way I could control my drinking, I have tried and failed miserably many times, sobriety is the only way for me.