An Honest Plea
 

What drinking has done to me is awful. I have become so depressed and used at as a crutch for so long its disgusting. People have been saying I have had a problem for a while, but I didn't want to believe them. A medical doctor told me to stop drinking, but I kept doing it anyways.

I've hurt a girl I really liked because of my drinking, I developed anxiety. I didn't pay my taxes or bills or get my car fixed so I could keep going out drinking. I took advantage of people while I was drinking. All I wanted to do for quite some time is drink.

I just now have stopped. I think it's day 3 or 4 of my life without drinking. The amount of relationships I have ruined because of my drinking, and every time I've tried to quit I have started again.

I would go to gay bars, not because I was gay, but because I knew they would make the strongest drinks. I have tried to quit on several occasions, but my self control always got the best of me. I even started stealing money so I could go out to drink.

Or, every time I would give it up, I would make up for it when I started again.

I joined this forum in hopes of getting support and bringing my life back together. Back to who I was. The last three years I have been nothing but drunk. I am hoping this forum will help me move forward.

Thanks for listening.

Welcome to SR, Rangel! You will find a lot of support here. We've all been pretty much where you find yourself, but we got better and you can, too! Please keep posting and reading other people's stories or what has worked for them.

Glad you're here! :grouphug:

Welcome Rangel!

I can relate to the ruined relationships part. I burned down 2 marriages and was working on a third. Countless jobs lost.

You will find support here and people that can relate to what you are going through and been through.

Never heard the thing about gay bars making stronger drinks lol. New one on me.

Rangel,

Yep, no one has a good story about where their drinking has taken them. Six years later, I still get the odd stomach flip when I remember some of it. It keeps me thankful I don't drink anymore.
Congratulations on day 3 or 4, that's a great accomplishment. keep going in that direction. You can clean the mess up with time and it does take time, but it can be done and worth it. be excited that you are beginning a new life because it is a new life. Keep telling yourself, no matter how badly you might feel about your past, Drinking is not an option. You will be fine if you stay stopped. Looking for some outside help along with SR will be invaluable to your recovery from alcohol. Good luck with everything. Drinking is not an option.

Welcome to SR!

Congrats on 4 days Rangel. I can relate with the not paying taxes or not fixing the car. About February this year, I made an appointment for a 20k service for my car for a Saturday. Well of course every Saturday, I would already be plastered by 9am so that appointment got cancelled and rescheduled a LOT. I finally took it in this week and it was at 27k miles. Good luck, I think you'll see that things start to get better without drinking.

Hi Rangel, and welcome!

A lot of us were where you are now. You will definitely find a lot of support and friendship here. It is important to learn how to forgive yourself, too.
Your post sounds almost identical to my first post. You can do this. :)

Again, welcome to SR!!! :)

Rangel,

Have you made a plan for yourself in order to quit?

welcome to sr, you are in good company. Well done on getting to day 4!

I think I have. So far, I don't have any urge to drink. So I'm hoping that will stay. I have friends that are being supportive of me as well, which is helpful.

Those are great to have, but you might want to talk to your Dr. Let him/her know that you are quitting. Maybe check out a couple of AA meetings.

I go to counsling and AA meetings. I didn't do the 12 steps, but I go to open group, and they are very supportive. Just try a few things out, so that you know you have options.

I LOVE my counslor. She even gave me her cell number. Out of respect for her I have not used it, but it's just nice to know there are people out there like that.

I also stayed on SR for a three straight weeks, reading people's stories and talking to them. This is a great site. I really hope you get as much out of it as I do. :)

I actually have just recently started seeing a consulor and have been put on depression meds.

Good...I'm happy you are here.

Welcome Rangel :)

I was 'nothing but drunk' for years too - the folks here at SR helped me turn my life around.
You've found a good place :)

D

Welcome Rangel :)

I was 'nothing but drunk' for years too - the folks here at SR helped me turn my life around.
You've found a good place :)

D

Welcome Rangel -

Getting sober was the best thing I ever did for myself - I highly recommend it! It was so helpful having this place to come when the urges to drink would pop up.

Glad you're here and congrats on your time sober!!:c011:

Welcome Rangel...we've been waiting for you! :ring

Hi Rangel - it's great you found us and are ready to begin your new life. I felt all alone and very scared before I came here.

We, your fellow addicts, understand you like no one else can. Talking about what you're going through should help calm your anxiety. Please believe that there can be a new day for you - no more crutch. You don't need it - you never really did. Keep talking to us! :)

Welcome welcome!!!! You will find a wealth of knowledge and understanding here. The more ways you can find and get support (also give) the better your chances are. This is a serious life or death situation for most of us. Hang on and with us as we know exactly the hell you've been to. Looking forward to hearing about your progress and more about your story. :)

Welcome. Make sure you are honest with your doctor about your drinking while you are taking your meds. Drugs and alcohol really mess with medication and makes it that much harder to find the right one. You will end up chasing your tail. Been there. An outside support group such as AA can be a life saver.