I'm so scared...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 7
I'm so scared...
I know I have a problem, I've been to rehab but I need more help. I am so scared, I don't even know where to begin. I've read a lot of things on here that make sense but I still and having trouble admitting to myself that I'm an alcoholic.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 7
Thank you Nirvana. Unfortunately, I already did drink tonight. While it wasn't a lot I still feel like a complete failure because of it. I'm not in that bad of shape that I need help now but I know that I need to reach out or else I will be...
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 482
You're doing the right thing by coming here. My very first post here in 2008 was called "Hi, I'm new and I'm scared" - I know that fear well. Seeing your subject was what made me come into the new comers thread. From my post in 2008, 3 years before I got sober.
Rather than asking yourself "Am I an alcoholic" ask yourself "Would my life be better without alcohol"/"Is alcohol having a negative impact on my life". These are easier questions. If you answer yes to these questions then abstinence is the way to go.
Have a good look around here, there are plenty of great topics to read through, and post away! If you run out of current threads, I recommend "http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/best-soberrecovery/" and "http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/"
I hope that you find peace, and SR can help you.
I went to an AA meeting, and was terrified by the thought that alcohol could control me, and that by saying I was an alcoholic I was admitting defeat and a life-long slavery to alcohol, so I went and bought a six pack of beer on my way home from the meeting. I still am finding it hard to accept that I can't control my alcohol use. I'm scared that I can't quit. I'm scared that I might find out that it isn't the alcohol that makes me a bad person but that I'm just a bad person. I'm scared to be sober and see what things are really like.
Have a good look around here, there are plenty of great topics to read through, and post away! If you run out of current threads, I recommend "http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/best-soberrecovery/" and "http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/"
I hope that you find peace, and SR can help you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, welcome to SR.
Alcoholic or not, it sounds like you'd be happier if you didn't drink. You'll find a lot of support here. I was scared to stop—couldn't imagine what my life would be like without it. What I did envision was dull and empty and tedious. Guess what? It turns out that life is easier and more enjoyable now. Don't be scared; you can do it.
Alcoholic or not, it sounds like you'd be happier if you didn't drink. You'll find a lot of support here. I was scared to stop—couldn't imagine what my life would be like without it. What I did envision was dull and empty and tedious. Guess what? It turns out that life is easier and more enjoyable now. Don't be scared; you can do it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi mereteseger - welcome
It is a big decision and it can be a scary one - but the thing that really hit me when I got here to SR was - I'm not alone anymore.
All these people get me, they understand me and I can see myself in so many of their stories...
I thank the community here for helping me back then work out what I needed to do.
There's a lot of support here - glad you've joined us
D
It is a big decision and it can be a scary one - but the thing that really hit me when I got here to SR was - I'm not alone anymore.
All these people get me, they understand me and I can see myself in so many of their stories...
I thank the community here for helping me back then work out what I needed to do.
There's a lot of support here - glad you've joined us
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome mereteseger -
I think most of us could have written your post when we first got here. I was scared to get sober and equally scared to think what would happen if I kept drinking. Either way, I felt like I'd end up totally miserable..... or crazy.
The good news is that with sobriety, the fear is really unfounded. In fact, getting sober is really the only way out of the fear (and the only way to get over the obsession, too). I came here knowing I needed to stop, but still wanting a drink more than anything. Within a month sober, I was wondering why I ever tortured myself the way I did and couldn't imagine going back.
All that to say that it's worth taking a leap of faith and getting sober in spite of your fear. Today, unless I'm on this forum, alcohol is nothing but a passing thought, easily dismissed. If we can do it, you can too!
I think most of us could have written your post when we first got here. I was scared to get sober and equally scared to think what would happen if I kept drinking. Either way, I felt like I'd end up totally miserable..... or crazy.
The good news is that with sobriety, the fear is really unfounded. In fact, getting sober is really the only way out of the fear (and the only way to get over the obsession, too). I came here knowing I needed to stop, but still wanting a drink more than anything. Within a month sober, I was wondering why I ever tortured myself the way I did and couldn't imagine going back.
All that to say that it's worth taking a leap of faith and getting sober in spite of your fear. Today, unless I'm on this forum, alcohol is nothing but a passing thought, easily dismissed. If we can do it, you can too!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 60
Thankyou for posting...I'm back on the forum for the firrst time in a long time.....your words could be mine.
Some of the replies have been really helpful to me.
Thanks for reaching out in your fear....it has helped me to start the journey.
Some of the replies have been really helpful to me.
Thanks for reaching out in your fear....it has helped me to start the journey.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
The buck does stop with us, I think - we have to act and have have to want to get better - but noone does this alone no, Tony.
There's a lot of support and ideas here - good to see you again
D
There's a lot of support and ideas here - good to see you again
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Originally Posted by mereteseger 
I know I have a problem, I've been to rehab but I need more help. I am so scared, I don't even know where to begin. I've read a lot of things on here that make sense but I still and having trouble admitting to myself that I'm an alcoholic.
If someone is not alcoholic there's no reason in the world to put effort into recovering from a condition we don't have. It just doesn't make any sense at all to do that.
So, you could admit and begin to understand what you're apparently suffering from and do some stuff to get better or continue to believe the fantasy that you're really a social drinker and that things will work out and be peachy with some minor adjustments on your part, since you're not really the real thing.
Admitting you're the real thing opens some doors to freedom from endlessly returning to living like you're living and feeling like you're feeling.
Or you could keep doing your best to fool yourself and continue living the lie, with occasional mornings of painful truth like this. It's the way it goes for alcoholics who are unwilling to be alcoholic, as if they have any say in whether they have this condition or not.
It comes down to if you've enough proof, or if you need still more proof. More proof feels exactly like the proof you've already endured. Most reasonable people would like to avoid more of the same, but who would call alcoholics reasonable?
bobbycola
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 7
Its okay to be scared. I know when I began questioning myself, I immediately started projecting into next week, next month, the Holidays...the rest of my life. The enormity of the rest of my life was paralyzing. Thinking about just today and the here and now makes it easier at first.
With this disease, I am aware that as soon as I drink alcohol, I need more and cannot regulate when I've had enough. Social drinkers stop because they can, as they feel tipsy, bloated, nauseous and need to stop.
With this disease, I am aware that as soon as I drink alcohol, I need more and cannot regulate when I've had enough. Social drinkers stop because they can, as they feel tipsy, bloated, nauseous and need to stop.
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