LSZ

Last night I came close to saying screw it. I'm a consultant and I have a slow day today, so I thought last night was a "drinking opportunity", but fortunately I got through it. Even though it has only been 12 days I have not lost any weight yet. (I actually lost alot weight quickly the last time I did this so I thought I would notice something) I do feel better though, like I can move around better, I could probably go casually shoot some hoops on my own or soemthing, which I usually don't feel like I can even do that when I am drinking every day.

I still find it very hard "giving" it up. I need to be able to associate it with something bad. I have never had a DUI, or been in jail or anything, thankfully. I never really thought of my drinking as truly a problem because I managed EXACTLY what I was doing, how much and where and when. But as I stop, I realize it can't be good that I am so UNHAPPY to not be drinking and its what i think about most of the time. Even the idea of "opportunity drinking times" is a troubling concept. I used to think of those like when my son was sleeping over a friends or something. What a scurge.

doggonecarl

Great that you could make 12 days.

You are finding out that your struggle to not drink is telling you more about your problem than your drinking did. It's hard to have perspective about drinking when drinking.

Stay strong.

LSZ

Thank you. The other weird thought that goes through my head now is like "why do other people get to drink"? Like it is simply wrong or something, and they ALL have a problem if drinking at all. Logically I know this can't be true, and people have drank for 10,000 years. (roughly) But because I am quitting, and because so many people on here are lamenting struggles and rejoicing successes, it feels like I now think all people that do drink are doing something wrong. When I read some of the dark, dark pain some people have with this battle, it seems that alcohol is a scurge, and that noone should ever start in the first place. But alas, most will, and for so many it is not a scurge? Is it maybe really a scurge for them as well? We just don't know the dark secrets of their lives and hearts. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Sorry. :-)

Dee74

Thinking about other people and why they drink, how/when they drink, or if they have problems is likely to send you mad LOL.

I found it best to keep it simple - you know you can't drink.
That's more than enough to be focussing on

D

Tigger41

I found that if I focus on the freeing fact that soon I won't have to think about it at all is going to make this worth it.

I've spent so much time thinkin... am i normal? can I ever drink? should I quit? should I stop for good or just a bit../ why am I drinking in my van ... why are the kids still awake i want another glass of wine... why why why.

I want to get to the point where I don't care why - i just want to know I don't drink. and feel secure in that.

Good luck 12 days is great and I haven't lost anything either (bummer)