30 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 133
30 days
Well it's been 1 month since my last drink. My lastet DWI arrest was what brought me to the realization that I had to stop. I dinn't know for how long, but I wanted to do something and the only thing in my control at that time that I could do right now was to stop drinking.
As the last 4 weeks have draged on and I have had time to think about the last 10-15 years of hard drinking my motivation to stay sober has shifted from just keeping me out of more legal trouble to really wanting to change who I am. My last arrest was a little more than 10 years ago. My minds initial reaction is "2 arrests more than 10 years apart aint that bad." Then I think about all the things I did in those 10 years that I didn't get busted for. The relationships lost, the opportunities lost, the resorces wasted, and realize my alcohol probelms are more than just legal. I've done a lot of ugly things in that time. As I think about it I remember more everyday. Things I've done that I haven't thought about in years.
Now 30 days later I realize I don't want to be that ugly reckess person I had allowed my self to become. I need to change everything about myself that made me want to drink, I am more motivated to never drink again than I was on day 1. I hope I still feel the same way on day 60.
As the last 4 weeks have draged on and I have had time to think about the last 10-15 years of hard drinking my motivation to stay sober has shifted from just keeping me out of more legal trouble to really wanting to change who I am. My last arrest was a little more than 10 years ago. My minds initial reaction is "2 arrests more than 10 years apart aint that bad." Then I think about all the things I did in those 10 years that I didn't get busted for. The relationships lost, the opportunities lost, the resorces wasted, and realize my alcohol probelms are more than just legal. I've done a lot of ugly things in that time. As I think about it I remember more everyday. Things I've done that I haven't thought about in years.
Now 30 days later I realize I don't want to be that ugly reckess person I had allowed my self to become. I need to change everything about myself that made me want to drink, I am more motivated to never drink again than I was on day 1. I hope I still feel the same way on day 60.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,559
I hope so too, Craze. I'm so glad you've come to that conclusion.
The last part of your 2nd paragraph really hit home - I felt the same way, but had to stop with the guilt and remorse. Just remember, the drinking Craze is not the real Craze. I'm glad you're discovering who you are, as the fog clears & you walk forward into your new life.
The last part of your 2nd paragraph really hit home - I felt the same way, but had to stop with the guilt and remorse. Just remember, the drinking Craze is not the real Craze. I'm glad you're discovering who you are, as the fog clears & you walk forward into your new life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 773
Originally Posted by CRAZE 
I've done a lot of ugly things in that time. As I think about it I remember more everyday. .
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Congrats!!! 
I too am on Day 30, go us.
I had tried to quit several times but what really motivated me was my boyfriend getting arrested for DWI when I was in the car. It easily could have been me and I felt partly responsible. I had had so many close calls with DWIs, both while driving and being a druken passenger of drunken friends who were driving, and I always somehow scraped by on a wing and a prayer, but this time my luck had run out and I had to watch him take the fields and get arrested, and go to the jail to get him later etc. At the time I was "not drinking," which lasted about 3 days until I had a fight with my best friend that night and told my boyfriend I needed a drink... which led to that.
So it's a huge reminder of what happened due to my continued drinking (and his... but in this instance I know that if I had been sober that night he wouldn't have gotten a DWI). I know that if I go back out and drink, I will end up getting a DWI too. I just know it, because I do unpredictable stupid things while drunk and I cannot control it. So that is one huge reason to stay sober.
I know how it feels to think through the past with regret and remorse. I try to tell myself that all I have is today, and the future, and to press on instead of holding myself back by being chained to the past. I wish you the best in your continued sobriety. Thanks for sharing.
I too am on Day 30, go us.
I had tried to quit several times but what really motivated me was my boyfriend getting arrested for DWI when I was in the car. It easily could have been me and I felt partly responsible. I had had so many close calls with DWIs, both while driving and being a druken passenger of drunken friends who were driving, and I always somehow scraped by on a wing and a prayer, but this time my luck had run out and I had to watch him take the fields and get arrested, and go to the jail to get him later etc. At the time I was "not drinking," which lasted about 3 days until I had a fight with my best friend that night and told my boyfriend I needed a drink... which led to that.
So it's a huge reminder of what happened due to my continued drinking (and his... but in this instance I know that if I had been sober that night he wouldn't have gotten a DWI). I know that if I go back out and drink, I will end up getting a DWI too. I just know it, because I do unpredictable stupid things while drunk and I cannot control it. So that is one huge reason to stay sober.I know how it feels to think through the past with regret and remorse. I try to tell myself that all I have is today, and the future, and to press on instead of holding myself back by being chained to the past. I wish you the best in your continued sobriety.
Thanks for sharing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 71
The DUI thing is crazy! Where I live one DUI pretty well screws your life! Jobs loss, jail fines, and you immediately are not allowed to do any volunteer work with people under 18 because it is a criminal charge not a misdemeanor. I have been lucky so far but I was living in fear! Congrats on your 30th day!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest U.S.A.
Posts: 130
Congrats on 30 days! I have been struggling lately with the regrets dealing with my memories of all the crappy things I have done in the past with alcohol involved but I am trying to use them as motivation. We can't change the past, but we can change our future. Stay strong!
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by CRAZE
Well it's been 1 month since my last drink.
Now 30 days later I realize I don't want to be that ugly reckess person I had allowed my self to become. I need to change everything about myself that made me want to drink, I am more motivated to never drink again than I was on day 1. I hope I still feel the same way on day 60.
Now 30 days later I realize I don't want to be that ugly reckess person I had allowed my self to become. I need to change everything about myself that made me want to drink, I am more motivated to never drink again than I was on day 1. I hope I still feel the same way on day 60.
I hope with you you feel the same at day 60, and beyond!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Congratulations on your month! I remember deciding I wanted to be the best "me", too - it was nice to feel good about myself again. When I was drinking, I couldn't do much of anything except get through another day.
Keep up the good work - it gets better and better.....
Keep up the good work - it gets better and better.....
Congrats on 30 days! 
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
