mwstylee

Some say there are no dumb questions, but I feel this is probably a dumb question. My only form of enterntainment since the first year of college was getting wasted...anywhere. My other interests are things I do on my own- biking, working out, running, art. I'm on my 8th day of sobriety and all I've done is keep to myself, keep busy around the house, work, run errands, and so on. I just don't know what to do that involves other people. My only interaction with friends (drinking friends, the only type I have) was breakfast this weekend when they were really hungover. That wasn't really that fun..they were half dead it seemed like.

I'm trying to make myself go to an AA meeting so I can make some new friends. What do you guys usually do? Do you go anywhere after the meeting is done?

flamingredhair

Were you able to look into meetings geared towards 20-somethings? If not, I believe I have a schedule somewhere that I can dig up if you want me to.

SASA

i felt the same way in the beginning. I had no friends that did not drink and all I thought about was drinking, getting drunk etc. I spent at least till month7 miserable and jsut now started to find friends and fun on things without alcohol.
So I suggest you give it time, try some new things and do not try to stress. The fun will come with time (and believe me I did not believe that when I read answers like this)

mwstylee

Yes ma'am. Found one, but the hard part is getting up the courage to go!

least

I'm older and more sedentary than I used to be so my schedule is pretty dull by young people's standards. I find tho that anything I do sober I do better and enjoy more.

yo466

I really had to focus on myself for a while so I could sort out all of the things going on in my brain. If you stick with this, first off, you're going to find out who your real friends are, it's just the way it goes.

Also, you'll probably discover some new things that you used to do before you spent all of your time drinking. I started playing guitar again, working on cars, exercising, playing sports, working on the house, etc. They started out as solitary activities to get my mind off of things, but now I've developed some new friendships and rekindled some old ones from doing all of these things.

Most of all I would stress patience. Recovery takes some time, and it takes time to work on your issues. If you do this for yourself, you'll find a new world open up for yourself. If you do it for other people you will most likely fail.

Like SASA said, I did not really believe posts like one I am writing when I was a week in, but it will happen if you stick with it and put the work in.

flamingredhair

You can do it!

OwlFeathers

Art in itself sounds fun. If you draw or paint, how about taking a day trip to somewhere like the lake, ocean, woods, park, zoo, etc for inspiration and drawing/painting? Or take a art class in something different then your normal medium? You will be flaming the fire of your passion and sharing good times with like minded people

Jay1980

The Young People's meetings put on dances and get togethers outside of just the meetings. I'm hoping to find one that has something going on New Year's Eve.

Like you I've been doing a lot of the solo things. Trying to find new sober friends around my age to do some things with. Anything. Go to the movies, the mall, bowling, ice skating, dinner, whatever. Just get me out of the house without having alcohol shoved in my face.

Eddiebuckle

MW - go, you won't regret it. I've met some of the coolest people in recovery. Often meetings will invite any newcomer to identify themselves so they can be greeted - do so, and you will almost certainly have several people introduce themselves after the meeting. Everyone in AA started the same way, wondering what the hell they were doing in this place with a bunch of strangers.

Personally, I go out to restaurants with people from my home group, play golf, hang out, or we meet at the gym. More than anything, it's good to have friends who know exactly what its like in the early days - those are the people who will be there when you most need a hand or just somebody to talk to.

sugarbear1

dancing, bowling, movies, lots of restaurants, museums, rafting, fair, you name it!

It's all better sober!

Sparkydog

The list of things I dont do would be shorter, drinking kept me from having a real life, now I do whatever I want whenever I want.
Find a meetup group online in your area, I saw that suggested here, and I went to a picnic saturday and met some interesting people.

Dee74

I really think we can do anything we want mw - just not drink
There's a world of fun out there that doesn't require alcohol - the only limit is our imagination

D

Sapling

I do every thing I enjoyed doing when I was drunk. I just remember it now. My drinking buddies. All gone. My new friends...All alcoholics that don't drink. Amazing. Try a couple meetings. You can leave whenever you want. Nobody is going to make you stay. I found it kind of interesting to be surrounded by alcoholics like me that didn't want to drink...Like me. Some of the nicest people I have ever met.

mwstylee

You're great. Thanks for the encouragement.
I hope everything's going smoothly over there!

TheTinMan

You will find this question a lot easier to answer for yourself 6 months from now.

My life revolved around drinking for 20+ years. It took about 6 to 9 months of sobriety for me to find out what I enjoyed. For the first 6 months I didn't worry about fun as much as I did working on myself and learning to live and stay sober.

Most of my fun now comes from spending time with my family, bowling, golf, music, volunteering with youth and most of all helping others.

Nirvana1

I've definitely done a lot more activities on my own since I've gotten sober. I used to hit the town multiple times a week with my buddies, so I really had a drastic change when I needed to break out of that lifestyle.

I went from sitting in my place all the time, to getting out and going to the gym, and then eventually made some new friends who didn't drink. It was mostly movies, dinners, and other low key stuff. I had to accept that my life would be a little less outgoing than before, but I realized that I needed to grow up some time anyways.

I think many of us kept the "college party" lifestyle going until the end and then had to suddenly stop and become responsible, etc. That's a complete 180 that were not ready for. Like many have said, it just takes time to get used to being a little more normal.

LaFemme

At first I did a lot if hibernation and thinking. Cleaning up my life both physically and emotionally was important to me in early sobriety. Little by little I started adding in things with people. I now take an acting class, attend lectures, go to the dog park, work on charities...the list is actually endless.

Find one small thing you would like to try and do that. Don't try and do anything major right away

onlythetruth

I can do whatever the heck I want to! What you'll want to do is probably different than what I do....but I think you'll find that the freedom is amazing. We stop doing one thing, and get to do 1,000 other things!

Threshold

It feels artificial at first. Forced. It takes a little energy to overcome inertia, but I find if I push myself to do SOMETHING, if I get myself going that is way more than half the battle, then I start rolling along and it is a wee bit easier to get myself going the next time.

Even my art, these days, I stare at a unfinished project and think "I really should get back to that. " but don't, but then I push myself and find that I often do get absorbed in it and that I do still have ideas and creativity that flows once I open the dam.

Getting back into other things I enjoyed was the same. I was telling myself "but it won't be the same, it won't be fun anymore"
But found out it was fun, and fulfilling, even when it wasn't the same.

I am in 12 step programs, and doing the step work, as in reading literature, answering questions in a notebook, posting here, "meditation", take my time and engage my mind in a positive way.

With holidays coming up I find an easy way to get involved in activities, cooking, decorating, writing holiday cards, making gifts.

One thing that has hugely helped is to get a change of scenery. I find myself feeling literally trapped. I go over the same things in my mind, I see the same places, I feel stagnant. But if I get away, even for just a day and see new places and do something totally different it washes away a lot of my mental hopelessness, I am reminded there is a big world out there full or possibilities, new ideas, people and opportunities.

A drive through a new area, a museum of a type I wouldn't normally go to, playing tourist at a semi local attraction that I never made time for, even picking a book from a section of the library that I never browsed, can all help me realize that I am not limited to what I've done or thought before.