Struggling with feeling like I have nothing to look forward to..
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 29
Struggling with feeling like I have nothing to look forward to..
I know that sounds stupid. I am on Day 7 and determined not to drink this weekend. But it makes me feel depressed. I know everyone on here WANTS to quit drinking. What if you are doing for some other reason? (Like in my case, weight) I actually WANT to drink beer. I'm quitting because I know it is not good for me, but I'm awfully bummed out about it. Anyone have any thoughts? I am trying to lift weights as motivation, as something to replace my beer drinking with. But I can't lie to myself, I love to drink my beer.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 14
LSZ, I loved to drink my beer too...but after so long that spiraled out of control into liquor and anything else I could drink. I'm not saying this would happen to you or that you are the same person, but plain and simply alcohol is toxic. If you want to be healthy and lose weight, cut out the toxin and start there.
Try to be happy about your decision and not "bummed". I understand that feeling, I miss it pretty much every second right now but I'm trying to fill my head with the positives. No Beer = Less Calories = Better Workout I applaud your decision to quit.
Try to be happy about your decision and not "bummed". I understand that feeling, I miss it pretty much every second right now but I'm trying to fill my head with the positives. No Beer = Less Calories = Better Workout I applaud your decision to quit.
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 29
Thanks. I agree. I'm 44. I actually spent about 10 years, like 25 to 35 not drinking at all, not a drop. And you know what, I was thin! I want that back the most, so that is my main reason. Two years ago I quit for 6 months, not a drop, and lost 75 pounds. Then the first day of the NFL season I started drinking beer again. I gained all 75 pounds back again in less than 8 months. I got scared after that, but it was about the weight and the bad eating habits, not so much the alcohol. When I don't drink I find it pretty easy to eat healthy. When I drink, I find it real easy to order my larger steak and cheese sub and fries, LATE at night after 6 beers. That is what I have to fix.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Hi. This is just my opinion based on my own experience, but, it may be possible that you have developed a dependency on alcohol and what you thought was no big deal has now become a very big deal. I began to realize I had a problem with alcohol when I wanted to give it up along with certain other foods (sugar, processed foods, bad carbs etc.) to lose weight, and I just couldn't! Alcohol seemed to be EVERYWHERE and not drinking seemed IMPOSSIBLE. I was like, wait a minute, I used to not drink, like, as a kid, a teenager, and then not drink much, like, for part of college, and I didn't have a second thought about it. But now I think I should stop drinking and it seems like such a big deal?! I miss it and want it?? Wth is wrong with me?? To me, that means I had a problem with alcohol... we don't have to put labels on it like alcoholic or problem drinker etc... but to me it is just common sense that if you think you want to/should go without something for awhile for certain reasons, and then you're rather obsessed with thinking about/wanting that thing, then you have developed a dependency on it and sometimes the only choice is to give it up. Kind of like really missing an ex who has broken up with you... you could keep thinking about her, calling her, trying to hope she wants you back... but it's best to put her in the past and move on. For me it's the same with alcohol. Why keep drinking something I know is bad for me? Why tease myself and think maybe one day alcohol and I will have a healthy relationship "again" (I don't think we ever did... it was just priming me to move in for the kill!), when I know it's impossible?
This is all just my experience, but I can relate to what you're saying so I wanted to share. Also, I was raised in a fundamental Christian family, and for quite awhile I was a raging atheist because I didn't agree with how I had been raised. Then, for most of my adult life, I have been, and remain, an agnostic, but I am trying to bring some spirituality in my life because I feel it helps me with that empty/nothing to look forward to feeling that you describe. It's like, okay, I don't/can't believe in this whole God thing but there has to be some reason to live that is bigger than just me, some connection with the universe and other human beings and even other animals etc. Meditating, "praying" (you don't really need to believe in anything to voice your concerns and requests to the universe...), "surrendering" and "letting go" to the universe/destiny/fate, reading about different religions and spiritual beliefs and seeing which ones are in line with my own (many things about Buddhism, and some things from all religions) and thinking about what my values, principals, ideals, belief system is, has helped me fill up the hours and the emptiness without alcohol. I go to AA (and should/intend to go more!) and a universal unitarian church (they are not "religious" at all-- atheists are welcome), and having fellowship with other people who understand me and who have similar values and goals helps me feel connected. And not drinking has done wonders so far in understanding myself better and loving myself. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
This is all just my experience, but I can relate to what you're saying so I wanted to share. Also, I was raised in a fundamental Christian family, and for quite awhile I was a raging atheist because I didn't agree with how I had been raised. Then, for most of my adult life, I have been, and remain, an agnostic, but I am trying to bring some spirituality in my life because I feel it helps me with that empty/nothing to look forward to feeling that you describe. It's like, okay, I don't/can't believe in this whole God thing but there has to be some reason to live that is bigger than just me, some connection with the universe and other human beings and even other animals etc. Meditating, "praying" (you don't really need to believe in anything to voice your concerns and requests to the universe...), "surrendering" and "letting go" to the universe/destiny/fate, reading about different religions and spiritual beliefs and seeing which ones are in line with my own (many things about Buddhism, and some things from all religions) and thinking about what my values, principals, ideals, belief system is, has helped me fill up the hours and the emptiness without alcohol. I go to AA (and should/intend to go more!) and a universal unitarian church (they are not "religious" at all-- atheists are welcome), and having fellowship with other people who understand me and who have similar values and goals helps me feel connected. And not drinking has done wonders so far in understanding myself better and loving myself. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
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I loved alcohol, too, at least for the couple of hours it gave me relief from my own thoughts. The problem was the rest of the day!
Now that I think about it, though, I was never really satisfied, even when I was drinking. There was always the thought that "just one more" would make things even better. It got scary when I realized I was living to escape life.
After getting sober I felt the same way you do - I felt like I had nothing to look forward to. Ironically my drinking is what got me to that place, slowly substituting for any interests I'd had in the past. I think the main thing is knowing that it will get better, but it does time/patience. If you find you can't shake it, and it feels more like depression, don't hesitate to see someone.
We're always here for you!
Now that I think about it, though, I was never really satisfied, even when I was drinking. There was always the thought that "just one more" would make things even better. It got scary when I realized I was living to escape life.
After getting sober I felt the same way you do - I felt like I had nothing to look forward to. Ironically my drinking is what got me to that place, slowly substituting for any interests I'd had in the past. I think the main thing is knowing that it will get better, but it does time/patience. If you find you can't shake it, and it feels more like depression, don't hesitate to see someone.
We're always here for you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by Pigtails 
Hi. This is just my opinion based on my own experience, but, it may be possible that you have developed a dependency on alcohol and what you thought was no big deal has now become a very big deal. I began to realize I had a problem with alcohol when I wanted to give it up along with certain other foods (sugar, processed foods, bad carbs etc.) to lose weight, and I just couldn't! Alcohol seemed to be EVERYWHERE and not drinking seemed IMPOSSIBLE. I was like, wait a minute, I used to not drink, like, as a kid, a teenager, and then not drink much, like, for part of college, and I didn't have a second thought about it. But now I think I should stop drinking and it seems like such a big deal?! I miss it and want it?? Wth is wrong with me?? To me, that means I had a problem with alcohol... we don't have to put labels on it like alcoholic or problem drinker etc... but to me it is just common sense that if you think you want to/should go without something for awhile for certain reasons, and then you're rather obsessed with thinking about/wanting that thing, then you have developed a dependency on it and sometimes the only choice is to give it up. Kind of like really missing an ex who has broken up with you... you could keep thinking about her, calling her, trying to hope she wants you back... but it's best to put her in the past and move on. For me it's the same with alcohol. Why keep drinking something I know is bad for me? Why tease myself and think maybe one day alcohol and I will have a healthy relationship "again" (I don't think we ever did... it was just priming me to move in for the kill!), when I know it's impossible?
This is all just my experience, but I can relate to what you're saying so I wanted to share. Also, I was raised in a fundamental Christian family, and for quite awhile I was a raging atheist because I didn't agree with how I had been raised. Then, for most of my adult life, I have been, and remain, an agnostic, but I am trying to bring some spirituality in my life because I feel it helps me with that empty/nothing to look forward to feeling that you describe. It's like, okay, I don't/can't believe in this whole God thing but there has to be some reason to live that is bigger than just me, some connection with the universe and other human beings and even other animals etc. Meditating, "praying" (you don't really need to believe in anything to voice your concerns and requests to the universe...), "surrendering" and "letting go" to the universe/destiny/fate, reading about different religions and spiritual beliefs and seeing which ones are in line with my own (many things about Buddhism, and some things from all religions) and thinking about what my values, principals, ideals, belief system is, has helped me fill up the hours and the emptiness without alcohol. I go to AA (and should/intend to go more!) and a universal unitarian church (they are not "religious" at all-- atheists are welcome), and having fellowship with other people who understand me and who have similar values and goals helps me feel connected. And not drinking has done wonders so far in understanding myself better and loving myself. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
This is all just my experience, but I can relate to what you're saying so I wanted to share. Also, I was raised in a fundamental Christian family, and for quite awhile I was a raging atheist because I didn't agree with how I had been raised. Then, for most of my adult life, I have been, and remain, an agnostic, but I am trying to bring some spirituality in my life because I feel it helps me with that empty/nothing to look forward to feeling that you describe. It's like, okay, I don't/can't believe in this whole God thing but there has to be some reason to live that is bigger than just me, some connection with the universe and other human beings and even other animals etc. Meditating, "praying" (you don't really need to believe in anything to voice your concerns and requests to the universe...), "surrendering" and "letting go" to the universe/destiny/fate, reading about different religions and spiritual beliefs and seeing which ones are in line with my own (many things about Buddhism, and some things from all religions) and thinking about what my values, principals, ideals, belief system is, has helped me fill up the hours and the emptiness without alcohol. I go to AA (and should/intend to go more!) and a universal unitarian church (they are not "religious" at all-- atheists are welcome), and having fellowship with other people who understand me and who have similar values and goals helps me feel connected. And not drinking has done wonders so far in understanding myself better and loving myself. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
As for the God thing. The Christian religion is DEFINATELY in the rear view mirror. Never again. I replaced it with Science, and internest in techology and engineering. (I'm in I.T. for profession) I just don't care about "spiritual" stuff myself. It can be tough though. My daughter recently told me she was afarid to die, and i said I was not, and told her something along the lines of "Before I was born, I did not exist. It did not bother me for one second. Once I'm gone, it will be the same." She started to cry and I was like "Wow, I really blew that one."
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