Feel guilty hiding SR
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest U.S.A.
Posts: 130
FML, I am curious if you have told him since this post? and if so, how did he respond? In my case, I was hiding it from my husband at first but then decided to just get it off my chest and tell him. He laughed a little bit but then came to understand that this forum has been helping me a TON! I asked him not to read it and trust that he doesn't. Now, he even asks me daily if I checked in to my forum yet today. Maybe if you haven't told him yet and it is still weighing on you heavily you can kinda do the same thing, mention it to him and how much it's helped and ask that he give you a little bit of privacy.
Also, I can totally relate to the fear of my husband thinking i'm boring sober but the exact opposite has happened. We talk a lot more, I clean/cook for him a lot more and we do other fun stuff together. The best part is I can enjoy going on a date night, getting dressed up and going to dinner/etc and wake up the next morning and feel just as good as I did the night before.
Also, I can totally relate to the fear of my husband thinking i'm boring sober but the exact opposite has happened. We talk a lot more, I clean/cook for him a lot more and we do other fun stuff together. The best part is I can enjoy going on a date night, getting dressed up and going to dinner/etc and wake up the next morning and feel just as good as I did the night before.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 163
I think it would be fun if my girlfriend was here on this site as a contributing member. But the truth is she knows I spend time here, and she finds this kind of stuff boring. So, whatever. I don't vent about her here though, because I know there is always a chance she might read some of this...
Anyway, it's your relationship. Still, best case scenerio would be having fun together on this site with my significant other. She just isn't an internet forum type.
Anyway, it's your relationship. Still, best case scenerio would be having fun together on this site with my significant other. She just isn't an internet forum type.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by FML 
I do the private browsing so that when other people get on the computer it doesn't automatically pop up in the browser and show up in the history.
Believe me if he suspected I was doing something secretly on the internet, he'd call me out. We are very open and that is why I feel guilty, even though this is harmless.
In all realty, I just thought about it..if he read this thread he would laugh at me.
Thats one reason of why I don't want to share it, I'm scared he will make fun of me. Not to be mean, just to pick on me. But I don't want this to be a joke. No one takes my drinking problem seriously and that is part of why I haven't been as hell bent on stopping until now. He has jokingly called me an alcoholic, but he's never acted seriously concerned. Except when I get horrible hangovers. He doesn't get them, and has said I shouldn't drink if it makes me feel like that the next day. But he's the only one who at least believes that I have a problem. We've had lots of fun times that involved alcohol, and we won't be able to do that together anymore. But whether he says it or not, he knows it's better for the both of us if I quit. Even if that means giving up the wild and crazy drunken part of me that can be a lot of fun for him at times.
I think what I'll do is mention SR to him and not get into detail. If he has questions, I will answer them. If he asks to see my posts, I will explain why I'd rather he didn't...unless he wants to make his own profile and be a part of it too.
Believe me if he suspected I was doing something secretly on the internet, he'd call me out. We are very open and that is why I feel guilty, even though this is harmless.
In all realty, I just thought about it..if he read this thread he would laugh at me.
Thats one reason of why I don't want to share it, I'm scared he will make fun of me. Not to be mean, just to pick on me. But I don't want this to be a joke. No one takes my drinking problem seriously and that is part of why I haven't been as hell bent on stopping until now. He has jokingly called me an alcoholic, but he's never acted seriously concerned. Except when I get horrible hangovers. He doesn't get them, and has said I shouldn't drink if it makes me feel like that the next day. But he's the only one who at least believes that I have a problem. We've had lots of fun times that involved alcohol, and we won't be able to do that together anymore. But whether he says it or not, he knows it's better for the both of us if I quit. Even if that means giving up the wild and crazy drunken part of me that can be a lot of fun for him at times.
I think what I'll do is mention SR to him and not get into detail. If he has questions, I will answer them. If he asks to see my posts, I will explain why I'd rather he didn't...unless he wants to make his own profile and be a part of it too.
All he said was, "Why'd you close the window so fast? Did you think I was going to tease you? I would never and you can go on that website without feeling the need to hide." My husband used to call me an alcoholic jokingly, and we have that kind of relationship as well, but now that I am getting serious, and things started to unravel because of my drinking, he has stopped... I think it's easier for some people to joke about stuff that is hard because they dont want to face it head on. Anyway, his reaction took a huge load off of my shoulders, and Im not saying it's going to be the same for you, but it's something to think about.
Thankfully, my husband is not the kind of person to go back and check things I post, that I am sure of. Plus everything i have put on here, and all of my struggles he has seen the worst of them first hand. He probably remembers more of my struggles with alcohol than I do, because of the blackouts. So I think anything I put on here would be a lot lesser of a shock to him, and anything that helps can't be a bad thing.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 71
No, I have not told him yet. He is working this weekend and I don't like to talk about things like this over the phone.
I have decided that I will tell him because I've been spending a lot of time on here and I think it's going to be an important part of my life (as silly as that sounds) at least for a while. So although I agree with everyones posts that we all deserve a degree of privacy, I think in my case it is important to let him in on it. I also want to be able to come on here whenever I want, and not have to worry about explaining what it is if he comes in the room. I stay up way later than him and the computer is in our room. I don't want to feel nervous about it.
I'll let it come up organically and just say I found an online support group.
Although we've had many fun nights fueled by alcohol, we have also missed out on days we couldve spent together because my hangovers can leave me bed ridden until evening.
Goldilocks, our husbands sound similar in that way so hopefully he responds the same way. I don't think he'd check my posts either.
I have decided that I will tell him because I've been spending a lot of time on here and I think it's going to be an important part of my life (as silly as that sounds) at least for a while. So although I agree with everyones posts that we all deserve a degree of privacy, I think in my case it is important to let him in on it. I also want to be able to come on here whenever I want, and not have to worry about explaining what it is if he comes in the room. I stay up way later than him and the computer is in our room. I don't want to feel nervous about it.
I'll let it come up organically and just say I found an online support group.
Although we've had many fun nights fueled by alcohol, we have also missed out on days we couldve spent together because my hangovers can leave me bed ridden until evening.
Goldilocks, our husbands sound similar in that way so hopefully he responds the same way. I don't think he'd check my posts either.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
I've actually invited a couple friends to this site. At first I was hesitant to let them know about SR because I wasn't sure I wanted them to be privy to the things I post on here. But I decided that the help they would receive greatly outweighed any intrusion of my privacy or whatever I thought might be the negative outcome of it. I'm not sure if one of them is still here, but I do know it's now been over 6 months since she had a drink, so that's pretty awesome.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((FML))) - my family knows I spend time on "my recovery board thing"..that's what dad calls it, anyway. They don't know the name, they do know of several good friends I've made here - nothing recovery-wise, more about family, pets and the neat places they live. My dad even got to meet one of my friends from here, while traveling out of town, and I haven't actually MET her yet. We stopped at another friend's house, from here, on the way to CA.
They don't really get it, what it is I do here, but they've noticed some good changes I've made since I came here. As far as I'm concerned, it's my space and I don't give them enough info to find me here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
They don't really get it, what it is I do here, but they've noticed some good changes I've made since I came here. As far as I'm concerned, it's my space and I don't give them enough info to find me here.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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