Tools for the holiday triathlon
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Tools for the holiday triathlon
I was at a girl's house last night after an AA meeting and we had a good discussion about the holidays. I and many others compare Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years as the alcoholics triathlon. It is a really challenging time and lots of things will come up that test our sobriety.
The holidays drop a lot of bombs in our laps. One of them is that often we are reminded of bad childhood experiences: they can really come flooding back and trigger us. If you are in AA, you can do a step 4 inventory and try to get a handle on your memories, examine your feelings and try to stay aware of them. If you're not in AA, you can discuss with another sober friend what your feelings are about the holidays and keep mindful of the triggers.
Drinking events are upon us: office parties, family get togethers and all sorts of venues will present situations where we are offered drinks. A few good tools are: have an exit plan, such as bringing your own car. Offer to be a designated driver. If you are going to events that allow it, bring a sober buddy, or if you are hosting, invite a sober buddy. A sober buddy at these events can be a life-saver.
Have a plan for those drinks you will be offered. There are any number of perfectly acceptable reasons to decline a drink. Remember that the world is full of non-alcoholics who don't drink. They simply say: "I don't drink". You can say anything you want. A lot of the pressure we feel to drink is really internal, because when it comes right down to it: other people don't really care if we drink or not.
Expectations are not the bomb dropped in our laps: it's the bombs we make ourselves. Sometimes we want the holidays to be like those perfect pictures in the magazines or those happy ending movies. Well, so often our holidays fall very far short of our expectations and the disappointment gives us a slew of triggers. Try to defuse those unrealistic expectations and remember each holiday day is just another 24 hours.
Watch out for the after-holiday depression! After we have gone through the mine-field of the holiday celebrations, the days after present another set of triggers. I made it through Thanksgiving with flying colors, but was gobsmacked the Monday after with a few drinking thoughts. It caught me unawares, but I made it.
Plan, plan plan. And plan again. If you know you have a solid schedule for the day with specific destinations, obligations and activities, it is a lot less tempting to throw it all away for a drink.
We can make it through the triathlon, hope these suggestions are helpful!
The holidays drop a lot of bombs in our laps. One of them is that often we are reminded of bad childhood experiences: they can really come flooding back and trigger us. If you are in AA, you can do a step 4 inventory and try to get a handle on your memories, examine your feelings and try to stay aware of them. If you're not in AA, you can discuss with another sober friend what your feelings are about the holidays and keep mindful of the triggers.
Drinking events are upon us: office parties, family get togethers and all sorts of venues will present situations where we are offered drinks. A few good tools are: have an exit plan, such as bringing your own car. Offer to be a designated driver. If you are going to events that allow it, bring a sober buddy, or if you are hosting, invite a sober buddy. A sober buddy at these events can be a life-saver.
Have a plan for those drinks you will be offered. There are any number of perfectly acceptable reasons to decline a drink. Remember that the world is full of non-alcoholics who don't drink. They simply say: "I don't drink". You can say anything you want. A lot of the pressure we feel to drink is really internal, because when it comes right down to it: other people don't really care if we drink or not.
Expectations are not the bomb dropped in our laps: it's the bombs we make ourselves. Sometimes we want the holidays to be like those perfect pictures in the magazines or those happy ending movies. Well, so often our holidays fall very far short of our expectations and the disappointment gives us a slew of triggers. Try to defuse those unrealistic expectations and remember each holiday day is just another 24 hours.
Watch out for the after-holiday depression! After we have gone through the mine-field of the holiday celebrations, the days after present another set of triggers. I made it through Thanksgiving with flying colors, but was gobsmacked the Monday after with a few drinking thoughts. It caught me unawares, but I made it.
Plan, plan plan. And plan again. If you know you have a solid schedule for the day with specific destinations, obligations and activities, it is a lot less tempting to throw it all away for a drink.
We can make it through the triathlon, hope these suggestions are helpful!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,371
I really second the idea of being prepared for situations.
Think carefully before accepting invitations too - what kind of occasion is this likely to be?
is it likely to be a boozefest? Am I ready for that? Will that be bad for me?
Do I really need to be there?
D
Think carefully before accepting invitations too - what kind of occasion is this likely to be?
is it likely to be a boozefest? Am I ready for that? Will that be bad for me?
Do I really need to be there?
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Excellent pointers - thanks! Last year was my first "triathalon" (a great way to put it)..... I think the first time for anything is always the hardest. This year seems so much easier and more relaxed.
If I had any advice, it would be "Easy Does It" and "Keep It Simple." Things don't have to be perfect!
If I had any advice, it would be "Easy Does It" and "Keep It Simple." Things don't have to be perfect!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 120
This is my first triathlon too! 
1 holiday down, 2 to go. I am so glad I have the tools to deal with situations that might get a little uncomfortable. Also grateful to have my family be supportive of my sobriety and to have a sober boyfriend...that makes life a little easier! Hope everyone else is doing alright with the holidays, it can be tough. Just remember it's only another 24 hrs...and nothing, not even crazy family members or friends are worth drinking over.
- L
1 holiday down, 2 to go. I am so glad I have the tools to deal with situations that might get a little uncomfortable. Also grateful to have my family be supportive of my sobriety and to have a sober boyfriend...that makes life a little easier! Hope everyone else is doing alright with the holidays, it can be tough. Just remember it's only another 24 hrs...and nothing, not even crazy family members or friends are worth drinking over.- L
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
This time of the year can be very tough, I just got through thanksgiving by the skin of my teeth it feels like, I wasn’t prepared and I think that’s one reason it sneaked up on me, but this is a time of year to keep your gaurd up.
I have many family members on both sides that love to drink, this time of the year is there best excuses to do so, it is easily mistaken that drinking can mean good times, but make no mistake, I didn’t quit drinking to avoid the ‘good’ times, I quit to end the chaos that always follows, somehow other 'active' drinkers dont always understand that, and that can make it tough too.
I have many family members on both sides that love to drink, this time of the year is there best excuses to do so, it is easily mistaken that drinking can mean good times, but make no mistake, I didn’t quit drinking to avoid the ‘good’ times, I quit to end the chaos that always follows, somehow other 'active' drinkers dont always understand that, and that can make it tough too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Camp Hill PA
Posts: 13
I agree with what you're saying, especially the "plan" aspect. I'm a gym rat and I run/ play sports. Knowing that I need to get up in the morning makes me more inclined to leave an activity when it's getting late. I , once too many times, threw it all away because of a night of drinking; as a result, I'm ready to get my life back on track. Who I was becoming was disgusting me to no end.
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