philllyjstan

I'm feeling almost 100% and I don't understand why I continue to stay in this cycle. I like feeling good, not dreadin work, etc.

DaisyThomas

Don't analyze WHY you keep going back to drinking right now... You aren't 'sober' long enough.... Just don't drink and focus on the positive only. Hashing and rehashing your failures pushes your mind toward the negative.
This sounds like a silly comparison, but for 20 years I always misplaced my car keys. Finally,one day I had enough and no matter what I know my keys are always on a hook by my front door. I don't even have to think about it anymore.
NOT DRINKING can eventually become natural too.
I am day 16 now so no I am not really 'sober'..... just trying to make NOT DRINKING a habit........
I hope you are having a nice day and feeling ok.
daisy

pikkle69

Heh... did the same thing. Now I'm so anal that if the keys aren't on the hook, I'm flipping out! Of course the years of alcohol abuse made this necessary as my bring is so out of whack I often times can't remember even the simplest of things... but over 5 weeks into sobriety and haven't felt better in 15 years!

Ghostlight

I never understood the cycle, either. Binge sober up for four days repeat.
I was deep into it, too. Lived that way for twenty years or more.

Hvae you tried AA or another support group? Church doors are almost always open.
That's what saved me, God.

Do what you have to, to break the cycle. Whatever it takes. believe me, it only gets worse if you don't stop.

May you find an answer, and best to you.

sugarbear1

4 days is not really sober, your body may just need a fill-up. you have the choice to fill it or move forward and stay stopped. that's when the reasons you drrank (numbed emotions) begin to put us on the "early recovery emotional roller coaster," and drinking to numb those feelings is easier than facing them.

staying stopped can be done!

philllyjstan

I'm feeling pretty good with the acception of an afternoon headache (which i'm not sure is from caffeine or what). Anyway I still haven't gone back to a support group, I'm just exercising and avoiding people who drink. Thanks for all the comments / support.

philllyjstan

Exercising, cooking, taking a test to better my career, xmas shopping, and reading. Most I wouldn't or would poorly do with a bottle.