honesty....day 1
 

last friday, saturday, sunday, monday and tuesday i've in total smoked about 23 joints, did 1 gram of coke, did three xtc pills, didn't eat proper, called in sick from work, slept like hell,

Yeasterday evening I stopped smoking dope , and still sober now (11:15 am).
Slept a bit better, called in sick again from work, using this day to gain some energy back, so I can make it through thursday and friday.

Planned 4 meetings the next 10 days. I need a new social circle, with people that aren't a threat (drug-users, drinkers etc.), but a helping hand. I've been looking everywere, except at AA/NA.

= stupid

Who am I kidding, I really need help. What's worst, it's true that this is a progressive disease. It doesn't get better only worse over time, unless i'm actually working it.

Memories of times long gone phase in and out, memories of continues relapsing and picking up again. I think it's safe to say now: I've been trying it on my own, it didn't work.

Time to change strategies.

so i'm on day 1....

Yay for day one! It's the only way to get to day 2,...then 3...then 4. Hang in there,remember we are here for you.

sounds like a good move. My thoughts are with you

Yep - sounds like it's time. We're here if you need us.

I tried very hard to continue to be clean/sober but largely live my old life. It never worked CC.

The old me needed to change - and that meant making changes.

Changing strategies sounds like a good plan - you owe to to yourself to follow through J.

Best of luck :)

D

Congratulations on day one. I'm with Dee on this one...unless you change nothing will change. Not easy, but possible.

Wishing you peace and strength.

Yes, change is the key.

I'm glad you're back.