I think that one thing leads to another in recovery...
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I think that one thing leads to another in recovery...
Today is Day 23 for me and I am feeling so great. I'm not sure why but I am. Last night I had a counseling session (my second one since starting back up again after my former counselor moved away over 6 months ago)... the counselor doesn't seem great and I honestly feel I get more out of free things like AA and recovery reading than I do by forking over my $45/session co-pay, but I am giving it a try. (To her credit, it probably doesn't help that I don't talk much to her about my issues with alcohol, or much about anything other than my anxiety/sleep disorder, and my job, which are the reasons I put down on the form that I wanted to see a counselor again. She is very practical and tries to suggest remedies that will help--- natural supplements because I told her I don't want to take meds if I don't have to, sleep/bedtime routines, tricks and tips to help me stay focused at work, etc. So she does help, to the extent that she can in 45 minutes a week!)
So I don't think it's counseling, but maybe it is, and I'm sure not drinking is playing a big role, because I just feel very productive and able to accomplish things I want to accomplish, which is rare for me. I have had a bunch of big goals that I wanted to do in order to change my life for the better (eating healthy consistently, running/working out regularly, writing, meditating/yoga, better sleep schedule/routine, getting and keeping my apartment clean, focusing at work, making a budget and sticking to it, etc.), but after feeling overwhelmed and like I can't possibly address everything I'd like to change in my life at once, I had decided to just focus on NOT DRINKING and not anything else. It was a full-time commitment and still is.
But this week, after 3 weeks of not drinking, I decided to start tackling another goal, a little piece at a time, which was getting into a better routine of going to sleep early and waking up early (I am always such a night owl and then can never wake up on time for work). Last night after counseling I cleaned my room, which made me feel relaxed and productive. Then I went to bed at about 10:15 which is super early for me, read "Undrunk" until I was tired and fell asleep at about 11. I was out of bed by 6:30 which is a big deal for me.
I went to the gym and worked out before work.
I feel like one thing helps lay the groundwork for the rest. Like it all builds on each other. Not drinking makes me feel more motivated and happy, and getting up early makes me feel more productive, going to the gym makes me feel energetic and like I should eat healthier, etc. I really feel for the first time ever that I can meet my goals and have the kind of life I've always wanted but which I was somehow never able to obtain. I know there is a healthier, happier, more productive, more organized, more in shape Me in there who wants to come out, and she's finally starting to. In the meantime I am learning to accept and love myself just as I am, and to be patient with myself and think positively.
The cherry on top is that there happens to be a job posting that is exactly what I'm looking for-- an opportunity to work for other professionals in my area in exchange for an office and assistants/support, plus hourly work. So I can start up my own business while still having regular cash flow. I am excited to see if it really is as good a deal as it seems.
In short, it seems that one thing leads to another in recovery... that I'm seeing a lot of benefits to my life in just a short time of not drinking and trying to make small changes. I am really excited for what else the future holds.
So I don't think it's counseling, but maybe it is, and I'm sure not drinking is playing a big role, because I just feel very productive and able to accomplish things I want to accomplish, which is rare for me. I have had a bunch of big goals that I wanted to do in order to change my life for the better (eating healthy consistently, running/working out regularly, writing, meditating/yoga, better sleep schedule/routine, getting and keeping my apartment clean, focusing at work, making a budget and sticking to it, etc.), but after feeling overwhelmed and like I can't possibly address everything I'd like to change in my life at once, I had decided to just focus on NOT DRINKING and not anything else. It was a full-time commitment and still is.
But this week, after 3 weeks of not drinking, I decided to start tackling another goal, a little piece at a time, which was getting into a better routine of going to sleep early and waking up early (I am always such a night owl and then can never wake up on time for work). Last night after counseling I cleaned my room, which made me feel relaxed and productive. Then I went to bed at about 10:15 which is super early for me, read "Undrunk" until I was tired and fell asleep at about 11. I was out of bed by 6:30 which is a big deal for me.
I went to the gym and worked out before work. I feel like one thing helps lay the groundwork for the rest. Like it all builds on each other. Not drinking makes me feel more motivated and happy, and getting up early makes me feel more productive, going to the gym makes me feel energetic and like I should eat healthier, etc. I really feel for the first time ever that I can meet my goals and have the kind of life I've always wanted but which I was somehow never able to obtain. I know there is a healthier, happier, more productive, more organized, more in shape Me in there who wants to come out, and she's finally starting to.
In the meantime I am learning to accept and love myself just as I am, and to be patient with myself and think positively.The cherry on top is that there happens to be a job posting that is exactly what I'm looking for-- an opportunity to work for other professionals in my area in exchange for an office and assistants/support, plus hourly work. So I can start up my own business while still having regular cash flow. I am excited to see if it really is as good a deal as it seems.
In short, it seems that one thing leads to another in recovery... that I'm seeing a lot of benefits to my life in just a short time of not drinking and trying to make small changes. I am really excited for what else the future holds.
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Originally Posted by Dee74 
A lot of things seems to fall into place for me after a while....I think I had no idea how truly dysfunctional my life or my self was when drinking....
good to hear, pigtails!
D
good to hear, pigtails!
D
I have an AA meeting tonight that I'm looking forward to. My friend wants to go to the gym over lunch tomorrow so I'm going to try to get up as early as I did today but find a morning AA meeting instead of working out like I did today.
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Pigtails- that is a great post!! I came on here looking for insipration to get courage to let go of my addiction and I really like what you said about recovery being one thing leading to another. I want to feel that way! I want to just focus on not using and let recovery happen. Thanks for sharing the inspiration.
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Well done, Pigtails.
As far as counseling goes, I being with a counselor you like is like falling in love: you just kind of "know" when it's a right fit. It sounds like maybe this counselor isn't the perfect fit for you, and I have learned the hard way that there ought to be no shame in shopping around for a counselor you like and feel a good connection with.
Also, I don't think you necessarily have to talk about your addiction in counseling if you don't want to. My therapist and I only talk about my drinking about 20-25% of the time, the rest of the time we discuss other issues in my life. It's all related anyways, IMO, and I have my 12 step group for focusing exclusively on my addiction issues.
As far as counseling goes, I being with a counselor you like is like falling in love: you just kind of "know" when it's a right fit. It sounds like maybe this counselor isn't the perfect fit for you, and I have learned the hard way that there ought to be no shame in shopping around for a counselor you like and feel a good connection with.
Also, I don't think you necessarily have to talk about your addiction in counseling if you don't want to. My therapist and I only talk about my drinking about 20-25% of the time, the rest of the time we discuss other issues in my life. It's all related anyways, IMO, and I have my 12 step group for focusing exclusively on my addiction issues.
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Originally Posted by Windytown4
Pigtails- that is a great post!! I came on here looking for insipration to get courage to let go of my addiction and I really like what you said about recovery being one thing leading to another. I want to feel that way! I want to just focus on not using and let recovery happen. Thanks for sharing the inspiration.
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Originally Posted by eJoshua
Well done, Pigtails.
As far as counseling goes, I being with a counselor you like is like falling in love: you just kind of "know" when it's a right fit. It sounds like maybe this counselor isn't the perfect fit for you, and I have learned the hard way that there ought to be no shame in shopping around for a counselor you like and feel a good connection with.
Also, I don't think you necessarily have to talk about your addiction in counseling if you don't want to. My therapist and I only talk about my drinking about 20-25% of the time, the rest of the time we discuss other issues in my life. It's all related anyways, IMO, and I have my 12 step group for focusing exclusively on my addiction issues.
As far as counseling goes, I being with a counselor you like is like falling in love: you just kind of "know" when it's a right fit. It sounds like maybe this counselor isn't the perfect fit for you, and I have learned the hard way that there ought to be no shame in shopping around for a counselor you like and feel a good connection with.
Also, I don't think you necessarily have to talk about your addiction in counseling if you don't want to. My therapist and I only talk about my drinking about 20-25% of the time, the rest of the time we discuss other issues in my life. It's all related anyways, IMO, and I have my 12 step group for focusing exclusively on my addiction issues.
I have had quite a few therapists and the only one I really clicked with and liked a lot was the last one, who moved away. She helped me work out so many issues in my life and I have her to thank for suggesting I go to AA or look into alcoholism-- by the time I brought it up, it was our last session, and I realized that as I was improving other things about my life, I was drinking much more, and she knew the direction to point me in.
Her practice is now about 45 minutes to an hour from where I live and I was thinking about taking the trek to go see her since she was so helpful. I'm not even sure if she accepts my insurance. And I don't think she does evening/Saturday appointments like my current therapist does (which is really convenient for me with my work schedule!), so I don't know how I could go see her without it interrupting work. But I think finding a great therapist is rare and so it might be worth looking into.
The weird thing, though, is that even though she was the best so far and pretty good, I still didn't feel totally great about her and by the end I was glad for the chance to stop-- I thought I had been "cured" and was wasting my money. But I wasn't even totally honest with her about everything! So maybe I am just hard to understand/help or maybe I don't avail myself of them enough, but it kind of feels like no one will be a perfect fit and I should just work with whatever I have. I like that the current one gives me practical coping skills/tools, and for now I'm using her for that and using AA for alcoholism/recovery issues. But I have been thinking of shopping around for a therapist who specializes in alcoholism recovery, because I think that if they don't understand that, they can't understand much at all about me. I'm beginning to realize through my own reading and thinking that it's just essentially who I am and the biggest thing I have to deal with in order to get happy/healthy.
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Thats great to hear PigTails. It does get better for sure. I've been sober for 3 months myself and I have seen and felt a change within myself since I have recovered from my last drunk. Being only 27 is huge motivator to know I can quit drinking early before it gets worse and worse as I get older. I always reflect what I have done in the past and grow stronger knowing I don't have to be drunk anymore to have a good time. As for good things that come our way? I just recently went out with a girl who I've had an interest for a few months now. Her and I were talking at work and emailing each other and went to go see Twilight Breaking Dawn just her and I and it was an awesome movie following an awesome night together. I am grateful that I wasn't drunk and not being myself. If I was drunk I'd probably would have done things that I'd never do while sober. Although we're hanging I still feel to keep my bad habit to myself until things get more serious. Right now it's in the early stages and I dont want to jump the gun saying hey im a drunk. get away from me! she might say lol. I would have never met her in the first place if it weren't for my last drunk. my boss putting me back on days and within a month I ran into her at lunch time and started speaking to her and she caught my interest so we've been in touch since. I am just so happy because if I were still on nights I'd never would have met her. Anyways I am doing so much better today and last night at the open discussion meeting I Chaired the meeting an dit felt good to be back up at the front guiding the meeting. When I qualified it felt amazing to tell a short snippet of my recent struggles with alcohol while on my own but then I felt the presence of my higher power and I reallty felt I was floating as I admitted my defeat and the changes that have occurred and admitting there is something different this time around. For instance. Giving advice on this site I would have never done before, it was about myself only and I admit that was one character defect holding me back, now I know it isn't just about me but those around as well. God bless for these forums and AA and afmily/friend support. You have another great 24 hour sober! One Day At A Time!
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