Social drinking epic fail
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: La-La Land! :)
Posts: 136
FML, have you read any of my posts? I think we are in similar situations. Read them if you feel like it, but I'm also planning on quitting the 1st. I finally told my husband a few weeks ago, and he's supportive, but it will be extremely challenging since a lot of our 10 years + together involved alcohol since we went through high school and college together (We're 27) and he's a normal drinker, if he drinks. Maybe we can do this together on the 1st... it'd be great to have someone to do this with! 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by FML
But then I saw that you said to list what alcohol has given me that sobriety has not, and I realize that all the things that I listed are things that I COULD get while being sober...I'm just going to have to work for them.
Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble
I think the most enviable people are the ones who enjoy it all—parties, concerts, conversations, you name it—without a thing to drink. That may not be normal, but it's pretty badass.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
FML
I understand the fear that the idea of a life without alcohol can engender. It stopped me for a long time. It wasn't fear it was a cold dread and anguish that I couldn't bear.
I am now over six months sober and I am now looking forward to summer (australia) and Xmas in ways that I haven't since I was a kid. My previous predications of a boring, bleak existence without alcohol have proved unfounded.
Why not now? the question that will bring on the rationalisations of your addiction
I understand the fear that the idea of a life without alcohol can engender. It stopped me for a long time. It wasn't fear it was a cold dread and anguish that I couldn't bear.
I am now over six months sober and I am now looking forward to summer (australia) and Xmas in ways that I haven't since I was a kid. My previous predications of a boring, bleak existence without alcohol have proved unfounded.
Why not now? the question that will bring on the rationalisations of your addiction
Resident Curmudgeon
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Way down South in Indiana
Posts: 375
All the procrastinators out there need to remember that sobriety is not something you take a Cialis for when the moment is right. It's tough work. I'm only 11 days into this trek, but I feel much better already.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 71
Witchitaks I know exactly what you mean. Once I decided I have a problem and want to quit, it seems like alcohol is EVERYWHERE! I always think I can have a few just to relax and so that nobody asks why I'm not drinking.
Last time I tried to do that at a wedding reception, I ended up getting so drunk I rinsed out the huge centerpiece vase and filled it up with beer for our table to pass around...after I had vodka drinks. A lot of people were drinking out of it and having fun so it seemed OK, but I was the one who passed out at the table. Not a good impression to make on my husbands side of the family. Not at all ladylike. Not how a "shy" person would behave if they weren't completely wasted. That was ANOTHER social drinking fail I had just THIS month.
CamilleBelle, we do seem similar and I'm down with doing this thing together. My husband drinks more than he probably should when he drinks, but he doesn't have as much of a problem as me. .It doesn't really change him like it changes me. He doesn't get horrible hangovers. I am jealous at how he can control himself when he drinks.
Last time I tried to do that at a wedding reception, I ended up getting so drunk I rinsed out the huge centerpiece vase and filled it up with beer for our table to pass around...after I had vodka drinks. A lot of people were drinking out of it and having fun so it seemed OK, but I was the one who passed out at the table. Not a good impression to make on my husbands side of the family. Not at all ladylike. Not how a "shy" person would behave if they weren't completely wasted. That was ANOTHER social drinking fail I had just THIS month.
CamilleBelle, we do seem similar and I'm down with doing this thing together. My husband drinks more than he probably should when he drinks, but he doesn't have as much of a problem as me. .It doesn't really change him like it changes me. He doesn't get horrible hangovers. I am jealous at how he can control himself when he drinks.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Wichita KS
Posts: 53
Haha nice move on the centerpiece... I'll have to borrow that one if you dont mind
Yeah weddings are tough for me to not drink, to be honest I think I've only made it through one without getting hammered and that is because I was hunover from the night before.... My closest wedding story to yours is I ended up swimming in a fountain inside of a hotel and losing half the tuxedo waking up soaking wet in my bed....lol Yeah I think part of me thinks that getting drunk is just what people do and what I've always done, but My friends that are successful and happy dont drink like we used to do in college. They will have a few drinks on the weekends or maybe with dinner but not like we all used to do when we were younger. The problem is I either cant or dont want to drink in moderation but when I was younger I promised myself I would never be "that" guy who is always hammered and making a fool of himself but Im afraid I am very close to claiming that title......
Yeah weddings are tough for me to not drink, to be honest I think I've only made it through one without getting hammered and that is because I was hunover from the night before.... My closest wedding story to yours is I ended up swimming in a fountain inside of a hotel and losing half the tuxedo waking up soaking wet in my bed....lol Yeah I think part of me thinks that getting drunk is just what people do and what I've always done, but My friends that are successful and happy dont drink like we used to do in college. They will have a few drinks on the weekends or maybe with dinner but not like we all used to do when we were younger. The problem is I either cant or dont want to drink in moderation but when I was younger I promised myself I would never be "that" guy who is always hammered and making a fool of himself but Im afraid I am very close to claiming that title...... Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Originally Posted by FML 
Yeah I decided not to wait. Day 4 is official.
At my AA meeting last night the topic was giving up alcohol right before the holidays. One woman mentioned that she thinks it's a good time to stop because she hopefully won't ruin another holiday and also she feels encouraged and happy about recovery, rather than depressed about drinking. Another person said it's hard to stop at any time and there are always excuses/reasons/occassions to drink, so why not get some holidays under your belt in the beginning and feel stronger later on?
I hope this helps you. Good job on giving it up!!! Stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by SSIL75
I put off quitting for years (literally years and years) because it felt like a loss to me. I really didn't understand all that I would gain in sobriety. And that everything about alcohol that I thought was so worthy of my time and energy was just ridiculous, alcoholic stuff.
How much it relaxed me! How much I laughed! How it brightened every situation! And now that I'm sober I see that it's all untrue. I am much, much more relaxed sober. I feel lighter/brighter... every day. And laughter... I still remember my first sober belly laugh with tears. My stomach HURT. That hadn't happened since I was a teenager.
Great times are ahead.
How much it relaxed me! How much I laughed! How it brightened every situation! And now that I'm sober I see that it's all untrue. I am much, much more relaxed sober. I feel lighter/brighter... every day. And laughter... I still remember my first sober belly laugh with tears. My stomach HURT. That hadn't happened since I was a teenager.
Great times are ahead.
I am impressed you changed your views around
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 71
Pigtails I agree with both of those people.
One thing I really thought about..I have two young children who will be experiencing the "magic" of the holidays. The joy I get from that should be enough! Making them happy makes me happy, and that's what I am going to focus on.
Plus I make lots of Christmas cookies. I remember last year I'd get all into it, then after a few glasses of wine I'd look at the big mess around me and feel tired and overwhelmed. This year I'll be purely on a sugar buzz, maybe even coffee..so I'll be a cookie maker master.
And yes, best of all...No HANGOVERS!
Besides, it's still going to be my resolution..I'm just getting a head start.
One thing I really thought about..I have two young children who will be experiencing the "magic" of the holidays. The joy I get from that should be enough! Making them happy makes me happy, and that's what I am going to focus on.
Plus I make lots of Christmas cookies. I remember last year I'd get all into it, then after a few glasses of wine I'd look at the big mess around me and feel tired and overwhelmed. This year I'll be purely on a sugar buzz, maybe even coffee..so I'll be a cookie maker master.
And yes, best of all...No HANGOVERS!
Besides, it's still going to be my resolution..I'm just getting a head start.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Desert Southwest
Posts: 292
Originally Posted by Gerbosko
I'll compare this to smoking, because this is what smokers tell themselves too "I'll set a date and I'll quit then" (except you used the word "give up"). When you set a date on quitting something that you've done for so long, it does not work. Very, very, very rarely will you ever succeed if you set a date because when the date gets closer and closer, you'll start drinking more and more because you have issues with putting the bottle down. When smokers get closer to their quit date, they do the exact same thing, they'll smoke as much as possible (oh, I'll finish off this pack so I won't any left for tomorrow, my quit date). I went through that with smoking, where I set a quit date, and I was right back where I started 5 hours later.
The day you need to quit is now, not tomorrow, not next week.. It's now or never. When you give yourself time to "prepare" for quitting, it just doesn't work. When you say "I quit", that's it, you're done. You're not losing nothing, you're GAINING back your life. Don't keep fooling yourself that it's going to work if you set a date, it's so vital that you understand this.
When you say "I'm giving up drinking", you're admitting that alcohol has defeated you and that you are giving up something. What are you giving up? Please list me reasons about what alcohol has given you that sobriety has not? I'll wait on that list. Exactly, you're losing nothing! so that means you're quitting and not giving up! You have a full life in front of you, are you going to be dragged behind the bottle or are you going to get your act together and come out on top?
The day you need to quit is now, not tomorrow, not next week.. It's now or never. When you give yourself time to "prepare" for quitting, it just doesn't work. When you say "I quit", that's it, you're done. You're not losing nothing, you're GAINING back your life. Don't keep fooling yourself that it's going to work if you set a date, it's so vital that you understand this.
When you say "I'm giving up drinking", you're admitting that alcohol has defeated you and that you are giving up something. What are you giving up? Please list me reasons about what alcohol has given you that sobriety has not? I'll wait on that list
. Exactly, you're losing nothing! so that means you're quitting and not giving up! You have a full life in front of you, are you going to be dragged behind the bottle or are you going to get your act together and come out on top?Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
Originally Posted by artsoul
Great decision! (Who wants to spend Christmas morning with a hangover, anyway?)
A kid I hang out with from work put it best to me. He said quite simply "Ya' booze, ya' lose."
I've been to HUNDREDS of AA meetings, yet one simple phrase has hit home harder than anything I've ever encountered there, or in any rehab I've attended.
Drinking will cost you everything.
You are making the right choice.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 71
Originally Posted by DarrenW
Good post. My "holidays" were the following:
Thursday Night- hey- why not get a headstart on the weekend
Friday Night- Reward myself for working hard all week
Saturday Night- this goes without saying
Sunday- Its Football or Nascar time
Monday- Monday night football baby
Tues, Wed- Well I usually laid off those nights.
Thursday Night- hey- why not get a headstart on the weekend
Friday Night- Reward myself for working hard all week
Saturday Night- this goes without saying
Sunday- Its Football or Nascar time
Monday- Monday night football baby
Tues, Wed- Well I usually laid off those nights.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 29
I've heard friends who quit say it is like getting a divorce or breaking up with someone you love. When I do "quit" with permanence in mind, I do get depressed. When I say, "I am cutting back" I get less depressed, becasue I am like "I can have 6 Sam Adams on my birthday" or something like that. Problem is not everyone can drink just once in a while.
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