SadRN

So I'm off to speak with the counselor for the first time in about an hour. I know I need to, but I'd rather do anything but go. I'm not even sure what to say. This morning my Husband was really curt/grouchy with me because of all that happened last week. I know he has the right to be, but it still hurts, especially when I am trying so hard to do the right thing. He doesn't know I've posted on SR, or that I've been posting every day. It's very difficult to explain to him about SR. I don't think he'd understand the significance of posting, and recommitting on here on a daily basis. I just feel so sad. Don't worry, I'm not feeling like drinking. It's just so hard when you are trying to fix everything, but still dealing wit the fallout from your previous bad deeds. Have a good day everyone.

Tigger41

SadRN you're going through so much - good luck this morning.

My SO doesn't know I post either - have to clear the history each time I log off. Plus this is my space to post, ask for support, vent and I need some place I feel safe - that's what I use SR for so I totally get it.

Take care

Ranger

This is a HUGE step, SadRN. I am proud of you!!

EmeraldRose

You'll be fine...better to go and not know what to say -than not go. Once you get there you'll open up, things will come out.
My ex didn't know I was this 'involved' in SR either. But that's ok...you need to do what you need to do to remain committed to your sobriety.

There are alot of things that happen when we drink, usually bad...and it will take awhile for that trust to return. Just keep doing what you're doing and stay on course.

ReadyAndAble

Don't worry about fixing everything, SadRN. Just focus on fixing this one thing for now... the rest will follow, you know? I bet you feel a little better after seeing the counselor. Good luck!

Anna

SadRN, I was here at SR for months before I told my husband about SR. I also felt like he wouldn't understand that connections that we have here with one another and what a special place it is. Don't push yourself to talk about it yet if you're not ready.

I hope your session goes well with the counsellor.

flutter

Just focus on you. I haven't read your backstory, but I also had reached a point with my drinking where my husband lost faith in me, and became grumpy and angry, and frankly didn't trust in the fact that I'd recover. I sought counseling too, when I was pretty much taken to my knees in despair over how my life had become. I was nervous, thought that what I would say would make my counselor cringe.. but honestly, after that first session (and beyond), it was such a relief to spill everything I had been holding privately inside me for so very long. I hope that the experience is helpful to you, your husband can worry about himself, and in the long term he'll benefit from the counseling and commitment to recovery that you have now.

least

Just go with an open mind and a bit of trust. A good counselor is worth their weight in gold, in my opinion. I depend heavily on mine and look forward to our weekly sessions so I can vent and get her feedback and her perspective, which often sheds light on my situation.

You'll be fine.:ghug3

DaisyThomas

SadRN,

SR is my online heaven. This is the only place i can be totally honest (ANONYMOUSLY)about 'issues' i have going on at the moment. I understand your situation without knowing all the details bc it is only natural to need a PRIVATE outlet.... a safe place you can divulge secrets without being judged.

My H knows i am on 'some alcohol forum' but i don't speak much about my private writings and communication on SR, as i know there would be insulting jabs about me 'hanging out with other losers' on the internet instead of cleaning house. (a big lol for that comment as well as a sigh)


I personally would keep SR a secret and delete your history when you log off.
Sometimes, especially in a city like NY, your private thoughts are all you have.

IMHO don't ruin a 'venting outlet' for yourself and divulge how important this forum is to you. You can just tell us how important it is for you to have SR.

Lots of love and wishes for peace in your world.

be well,
daisy

SadRN

Thanks for the words of support. I went, and managed to survive! It did feel good to get a lot of it off my chest in a safe way. I did tell the counselor about SR, and he was very encouraging, and recommended I make sure to keep posting daily ( Pretty much planned on that anyway,lol, but validation is nice.) The "idea" of stopping to pick up a drink did pop into my head as I passed my usual minimart, but I was positive I was NOT going to stop for a drink to bring home. I'll sure be glad when those moments start to get fewer. I'm off to bed, gotta work all night. Have a good day everyone, stay strong.

nvrbeentospain

Glad it went well, and good job passing the minimart! About what to talk about, it's whatever you want to talk about, which is nice.

Dee74

glad it went well sadRN

D

Fluffernutter

Hope everything went well. I just went to a counseling session myself. I feel TONS better now, and I have a plan for recovery.