New here, quit on October 1st, 2011
Imperfect being, but trying
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 42
New here, quit on October 1st, 2011
Found the site through a Google search about what people experience after quitting drinking.
My life has been a bit of a roller coaster the last 3 months. My wife has always suffered from depression but I was either oblivious or ignoring how bad it was. In September she had a doctor's appt but I did not know it was with her psychiatrist until the doctor called me to tell me my wife was considering suicide. It rocked me to the core.
I immediately went to the doctor's office and took her to the emergency room where they admitted her a few hours later, she was in there for a week and was allowed to come home.
While she was in the hospital I had to come to terms with a few things.
1) She had told me that the doctor told her she should not be drinking at all since she was depressed and on taking meds for it. I minimized the doctor's opinion and kept buying wine and encouraging her to drink with me.
2) My drinking was way out of control.
3) My selfish behavior was partly responsible for my wife's situation
4) It all had to stop
I got rid of all alcohol and paraphernalia while she was in the hospital. I also got rid of all my cigars and things associated with that. The cigars were tied to scotch drinking and I shudder thinking how out of control that whole thing was. I smoked at least 2 cigars a day, drank at least a bottle of scotch or more a week, and also drank beer and wine before hitting the scotch in the evening. The amount of money I spent on expensive booze and cigars was substantial.
So, I am now attending a counseling session once a week and have made some progress in figuring out what some of my issues were that drove me to this behavior. I have much work to do.
My wife is making great progress, it attending 3 counseling sessions a week as well as AA meetings 5 days a week. She still has the desire and has a lot of triggers. For some reason I do not, except maybe the occasional desire for a cigar. We just spent Thanksgiving with my family without issue, even though people were drinking around us, we stayed strong.
Thanks for reading this, and giving me a place to share. My wife and I have a long road ahead of us, but we've been together for 25 years and still care very much for each other.
My life has been a bit of a roller coaster the last 3 months. My wife has always suffered from depression but I was either oblivious or ignoring how bad it was. In September she had a doctor's appt but I did not know it was with her psychiatrist until the doctor called me to tell me my wife was considering suicide. It rocked me to the core.
I immediately went to the doctor's office and took her to the emergency room where they admitted her a few hours later, she was in there for a week and was allowed to come home.
While she was in the hospital I had to come to terms with a few things.
1) She had told me that the doctor told her she should not be drinking at all since she was depressed and on taking meds for it. I minimized the doctor's opinion and kept buying wine and encouraging her to drink with me.
2) My drinking was way out of control.
3) My selfish behavior was partly responsible for my wife's situation
4) It all had to stop
I got rid of all alcohol and paraphernalia while she was in the hospital. I also got rid of all my cigars and things associated with that. The cigars were tied to scotch drinking and I shudder thinking how out of control that whole thing was. I smoked at least 2 cigars a day, drank at least a bottle of scotch or more a week, and also drank beer and wine before hitting the scotch in the evening. The amount of money I spent on expensive booze and cigars was substantial.
So, I am now attending a counseling session once a week and have made some progress in figuring out what some of my issues were that drove me to this behavior. I have much work to do.
My wife is making great progress, it attending 3 counseling sessions a week as well as AA meetings 5 days a week. She still has the desire and has a lot of triggers. For some reason I do not, except maybe the occasional desire for a cigar. We just spent Thanksgiving with my family without issue, even though people were drinking around us, we stayed strong.
Thanks for reading this, and giving me a place to share. My wife and I have a long road ahead of us, but we've been together for 25 years and still care very much for each other.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
Good for you for recognizing the need for serious action to help your wife, and also for recognizing the role that you have played in the 'dance'.
I'm glad your wife is doing better.
I'm glad your wife is doing better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Welcome Rocco. I think it's so wonderful that you and your wife are such a great team in more ways than one. I am so glad to hear that you are both making progress and taking care of one of another. This was a very inspirational post and I thank you for sharing 
Argonaut
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 479
Hi Rocco,
Welcome! There is a thread for people who quit drinking in October, http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...11-pt-4-a.html please join us if you want
Welcome! There is a thread for people who quit drinking in October, http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...11-pt-4-a.html please join us if you want
Imperfect being, but trying
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 42
Just a quick update, today is 100 days of sobriety for both of us, we are doing well. My wife is vastly improved , both mentally and physically, and we are both working out now. Stay strong people, you CAN do it !
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