Scared, Worried and Hurting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 3
Scared, Worried and Hurting
I have been with my partner for 12 years - up until the middle of this year. One day i packed a suitcase and left qwith our 2 beautiful children. I called the police, they brought him home and i went into town hopped on a train and was given a bolt hole through Womens Aid to clear my head. I texted his family and heard nothing for a week until he was in hospital after trying to kill himself.
The last 8 months have been painful, i lost all my friends and family and myself and children ended up living with his eldest long lost daughter and her young family as myself and my children became homeless and the authorities were unable to rehome us.
He detoxed, became sober and the man we all loved re-appeared. Happy in that fact that we were once again becoming a happy family we found somewhere new to live and he re-arranged his counselling and alcohol abuse team.
That was 3 weeks ago and he's drinking again. I cannot cope with this - i have no-one left to confide in - everyone thinks we are happy again and back as the amazing family we should be - but it's all lies. If it wasn't for my children i would have left this morning - flu or no flu! (Myself ad daughte have been in bed for a week and now he has it) So it's his perfect reason not to discuss it.
That mild mannered gorgeous confident man i love has once again disappearedand turned into this ugly, secretive, aggressive, heartbreaking weasel.
We moved to a new area for a fresh start (away from my family) and he's reset up his business, i've re applied for university (we have an 18 yr age gap) and everyone thinks we are so strong and amazing.
He tells me it's just a 'blip' - that it was a 1/4 of a bottle and not enough for a cat to get pissed (vodka that is!) - but i know his 'blips'
I can't afford to live here on my own on benefits, i'm ashamed to ring his family and upset them again. It destoyed them seeing him like that months ago, having to take him vodka so he wouldn't die when detoxing, when his nurses rang his family and said they needed to.
He got to the other side - and it was my fault for loving him again that he's slipped back down and isn't getting back up.
What the hell do i do?
I LOVE HIM AND I FRICKING HATE HIM - I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM KILL HIMSELF. He has other health issues too, and i thought the counselling he was having at the old alcohol misuse centre was helping, but he's just told me they are utter sh*t - i think he thinks there's a miracle cure where someone will wave a magic wand.
I thought he wanted us and his children back together, it took everything for me to take him back, it took everything for me to leave in the first place after 3 years of this ....
What now?????
The last 8 months have been painful, i lost all my friends and family and myself and children ended up living with his eldest long lost daughter and her young family as myself and my children became homeless and the authorities were unable to rehome us.
He detoxed, became sober and the man we all loved re-appeared. Happy in that fact that we were once again becoming a happy family we found somewhere new to live and he re-arranged his counselling and alcohol abuse team.
That was 3 weeks ago and he's drinking again. I cannot cope with this - i have no-one left to confide in - everyone thinks we are happy again and back as the amazing family we should be - but it's all lies. If it wasn't for my children i would have left this morning - flu or no flu! (Myself ad daughte have been in bed for a week and now he has it) So it's his perfect reason not to discuss it.
That mild mannered gorgeous confident man i love has once again disappearedand turned into this ugly, secretive, aggressive, heartbreaking weasel.
We moved to a new area for a fresh start (away from my family) and he's reset up his business, i've re applied for university (we have an 18 yr age gap) and everyone thinks we are so strong and amazing.
He tells me it's just a 'blip' - that it was a 1/4 of a bottle and not enough for a cat to get pissed (vodka that is!) - but i know his 'blips'
I can't afford to live here on my own on benefits, i'm ashamed to ring his family and upset them again. It destoyed them seeing him like that months ago, having to take him vodka so he wouldn't die when detoxing, when his nurses rang his family and said they needed to.
He got to the other side - and it was my fault for loving him again that he's slipped back down and isn't getting back up.
What the hell do i do?
I LOVE HIM AND I FRICKING HATE HIM - I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM KILL HIMSELF. He has other health issues too, and i thought the counselling he was having at the old alcohol misuse centre was helping, but he's just told me they are utter sh*t - i think he thinks there's a miracle cure where someone will wave a magic wand.
I thought he wanted us and his children back together, it took everything for me to take him back, it took everything for me to leave in the first place after 3 years of this ....
What now?????
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Hi Milkshake, so sorry to hear about your situation. You will find the most support in the friends & family section as this is the section for people that are new to recovery, this might be a good area for your husband to post in ;-)
I will find a link to the other forum in a second... welcome to SR, you will find a lot of help & support here.
I will find a link to the other forum in a second... welcome to SR, you will find a lot of help & support here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Here you go Milkshake (love your name, reminds me of a large chocolate milshake ;-)
Please copy & paste your thread here as well Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
We all try to help each-other here recovering alcoholics & friends/family ;-) Take Care
Please copy & paste your thread here as well Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
We all try to help each-other here recovering alcoholics & friends/family ;-) Take Care
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by NewBeginning010 
Hi Milkshake, so sorry to hear about your situation. You will find the most support in the friends & family section as this is the section for people that are new to recovery, this might be a good area for your husband to post in ;-)
I will find a link to the other forum in a second... welcome to SR, you will find a lot of help & support here.
I will find a link to the other forum in a second... welcome to SR, you will find a lot of help & support here.
Oh and as for my OH - he'd NEVER post on something like this - after all he no longer has a problem! xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
What a nightmare - would you call a women's abuse/shelter hotline? Your two beautiful children are so fortunate to have you....you sound like you are strong and loving. You don't deserve this. Best wishes to you and your children. Hey, if he turns violent agains you I hope you know to leave immediately. People under the influence can do things you can never imagine (I ended up in intensive care, thanks to my "loving husband" under the influence.)
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