colt1

Hey,

I started my trial of being abstinent from alcohol just three days ago and already I relapsed. I am not overly concerned about this said relapse because going in to abstinence, I was kind of on the fence as to whether my abstinence starting date should be 11/22/11 or at the end of thanksgiving. It was probably a mistake to set my abstinence date 2 days before thanksgiving...but yeah, I binged and it's over with and I am moving on.


I got to thinking that I am never going to be able to abstain or moderate my drinking if I don't take care of the underlying cause of my drinking. The experts agree that you can't whiteknuckle your way through sobriety. Sure you can whiteknuckle for a stressful time here and party there...and that's a good thing and it's important to do. But you can't chronically willpower yourself through sobriety. My problem--the big big thing that drives me to drink more than anything else (pretty much the only reason I drink)--is boredom.

BOREDOM!!! What do you do when everything seems uninteresting? In this day and age, it is ridiculous for anyone to be bored. There is an endless amount of games I could play on the computer, an endless number of youtube videos, I always have work that I could be doing, I have a gym I can go to, and lots of people I could talk to. I am a very privileged person with a very rich environment. Sometimes I just get bored...very very bored. What the heck do I do about this?

Also, I have ADD, which I am sure contributes to my feelings of boredom. But I just get in these moods where everything seems dull and gray and uninteresting. Then I drink and the whole world just seems to come to life. Boredom, boredom is my one and only demon. It is why I drink alcohol and it is why I always want to consume pot (if I wasn't under the thumb of potential employers, I'd vaporize pot whenever I felt bored and would be a lot healthier getting stoned 2-3 times week as opposed to drunk 2-3 times a week.) LEGALIZE!! But in the mean time, when boredom strikes (and it strikes hard sometimes), what do I do or how do I prevent it?

instant

If you are still actively addicted not feeling right without using is expected. It took about 3 months for my emotions to settle back down. I assume they are still adjusting as changes are still occurring, and I am becoming more emotionally functional.

Being active in addiction and being dissatisfied seem to go hand in hand.

I do not go to AA, but I am coming to the view that there is a lot to be said for the wisdom inherent in the steps.

dun

I use endurance training,marathons , triathlons , trail running etc.. They are a great way to meet people with a healthy lifestyle and a lot of them are in recovery. The problem that I find is the depression that comes after a big race or event. Which always seems to trip me up until I can get back on track. just a thought.

artsoul

It's a challenge we all have in the beginning. Actually, everyone gets bored, it's just that most people look for something to do - they don't start drinking.

I just did whatever I could at first to get through it one day (or hour) at a time. In the beginning nothing interested me. I felt tired and totally unmotivated. Now I can say I haven't felt bored in a long time.

I know the underlying issues are important, but I believe you have to stay sober first in order to work on them. When you can't drink, it forces you to try other options.

Give yourself a hug and keep going - it really does get better!

Dee74

I used to say I drank cos I was bored - but I realised, like you have, it's ridiculous to say that.

There's any amount of things I might have done, or could have done - but I went for the easy fix of booze or drugs instead.

It's hard work to not drink - it takes a lot more effort than reaching for a bottle, and it's uncomfortable for a while - but it's the best thing I ever did for myself.

I really hope you'll stick with it colt.

D

sugarbear1

What do you accomplish well when you are drinking?

What do you accomplish well when not drinking?

Seriously, do you get anything done on your list of "Things I Need to Do?"

CaiHong

Colt1

Good topic to bring up. I think a lot of us drank because we were "bored" everything was so much more interesting when I was half cut.

The other night I had to go to a work dinner, the first one I have ever attended sober. I am not going to say it was wonderful, but it was fine, I had some good conversations, felt totally in control. didn't feel I had to "entertain" anyone.

I can honestly say I am coming to a point in my sobriety that "boredom" is disappating and I am able to enjoy the tons of things that you mentioned that are available. I am now only limited by my imagination.

Before I couldn't enjoy anything really, when sober. This is one of the rewards.

All the best
CaiHong

Terminally Unique

Your problems, including your lingering boredom, are likely the result, and not the cause of your addiction. Abstinence leads to self-improvement, not the other way around. If you abstain for ninety days, you will probably find that your head is much clearer.

1undone

I thought my drinking had to do with being board too but it had more to do with instant gratification and lack of peace of mind. There was a bit of just daily habit mixed in there as well. I am still working on this but in a way I have to force myself to use what's around me and get the hell around other people where I am not focused just on me. When I'm focused on someone else or helping someone else I feel better about me and of course I'm helping a person instead of taking up space.

I just think we get so used to our lives being about drinking that we forget how to enjoy other things. We are so wraped up in how to alter our minds that we forget how to enjoy the most simple things. It's a challenge too if you haven't changed people, places, or things that trigger you to use.

Mark75

My experience, and it is only mine...

I resented the whole abstinence thing, resented the idea that I couldn't drink... I found myself bored because I was so deep into the resentment that I couldn't allow myself to relearn to enjoy everything I love to do ... without the pills and alcohol... I cut off my nose to spite my face.

I like doing a lot of things... another thread around here somewhere is about not being grateful... I wasn't grateful for a damn thing... thank you very much...

But today, at the end of the day, a beautiful November day here in the Northeast... I took a bike ride, took a couple of casts with my fly rod, did some chores, my kids are all home from college... and I am grateful.

I am not bored.

It gets better... I promise.

TimFoot

I can relate to this thread. I used to dread the weekends and days off because I knew it was only a matter of time before I started taking my illicit swigs from my hidden bottle of vodka because I just thought there are so many hours in the day and really nothing to do. Since quitting drinking only 21 days ago, I have become so much more calm, peaceful and content that I don't view time away from work anymore as something to dread. I don't feel hyper and anxious to drink. I can read the paper, take a walk, play some WII with my son, run errands, etc. It took a while to lose the anxiety feelings I had which were really alcohol withdrawal upon waking.

miamifella

I do not know if it was/is boredom but rather the feeling of missing something. It was the feeling that there are people enjoying themselves somewhere while I am stuck here alone that got me using.

Of course, there is no "there" where all the fun is. And the real problem was/is a dissatisfaction with oneself.