North1

I am now 21 days sober and very Thankful and this is by the grace of my higher power. Something strange happened today. I woke up in a great mood and was looking forward to Thanksgiving as I have not attended in 3 years due to my drinking. I got home to my parents and started feeling anxious and I am unsure how to describe it. I just wanted out of there. Like I had to leave right then and go home. That is exactly what I did. I had a meltdown emotionally and isolated all day. I wanted to be there but I just could not. Has anyone else had this happen?

mwstylee

Congrats on your sobriety so far. I guess I can't relate because for me, being around my parents feels cozy and comforting no matter what state I'm in. I bet that was a pretty big emotional shock to your system, having not partaken in such a symbolic holiday tradition in so long. Good luck.

DarrenW

Did you go home so you could drink? Or were you just nervous to be around other people.

Tigger41

Hi North1 - I'm also at 21 days - congratulations and you're doing great.

I didn't have exactly the same thing happen but when my Mom and her bf showed up I felt very anxious and wanted to get out/run away. I did take the dogs for a walk a cry a little for no reason but it doesn't sound as hard as what you went through. I don't seem to be quite in control of my emotions these days. Maybe it's being sober, maybe this is part of some kind of detox still. Don't know. I hope you feel better tomorrow and are proud of yourself for making it through and doing what you needed to to stay sober.

pikkle69

First time in years and years I looked forward to Thanksgiving! It's a strange feeling, isn't it? Hope it sticks around for many years to come... good job with 21 days!!!

Dee74

Hi and welcome North

A lot of people can have anxiety and panic attacks in early recovery - I remember fearing I had no idea how to be social without alcohol...

is that what you mean?

D

North1

I did not go home to drink. I was just anxious and was feeling like I was going to have a breakdown. I have no idea why. I was wondering if this is still kinda part of detox as last night I had a dream that I drank. I detoxed myself and went through the DT's so bad I really thought that I was going to die. I wanted so badly to be there and maybe I still feel such shame for how I have been. I went home and cried for hours. This is a confusing thing. Thank you so much for any thoughts that you may have.

DarrenW

We are pulling for you!

mwstylee

I've gone through that a few times this year. What a scary feeling, huh? Heart racing and body appendages trembling. I remember coming out of a 20+ hours period of DT's and thinking "Wow, I just put my body through complete utter hell...how am I still alive?"

North1

When I went through the DTs, I was not sure if I would live. I was alone and physically sick every five minutes for 36 hours straight. I was so afraid. Then after I could hold down two sips of Gatoraid at a time. Then I got all the other fun symptoms. Shakes, sweats, legs, nightmares. I am so so grateful to my higher power God that I am alive. I think for Christmas I am going to volunteer at Salvation Army so I can continue to be humbled as I need this reminder. I know this is a large part of my sobriety. Thank you all for thoughts and comments and if you have any more send them my way. I am just trying to understand.

Many Thanks,

North

wpainterw

It's O.K. North. Don't blame yourself. It's really awkward when you first give up alcohol. It takes getting used to and that may be awhile. Best thing is to go somewhere where there are other recovering alcoholics, to a meeting if you are an AA person or some other equivalent group if not. Try any way of socializing in a nonalcoholic way. Talk to other alcoholics about how you feel. You'll probably find many of them feel the same way. Try not to isolate or be alone too much. January 2 always comes around. Hang in there!

W.

soberlicious

It's ok that you could not be there...you recognized what was happening and took care of yourself. I think it takes the body and mind a while to level out. Just keep doing what you are doing by not drinking and allowing the feelings, no matter how scary, to pass through.