We can't drink in moderation..!!
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 377
We can't drink in moderation..!!
I haven't been on these forums for THAT long, but I feel I can say this with confidence with the time that I have been here.
AN ALCOHOLIC CAN'T DRINK IN MODERATION!!!!
I have seen so so SO many posts about relapses from others simply because they THINK they can control their drinking after accumulating some sober time.
Snap outta it people!!! It wont work. You and I both know thinking like this is just a form of lying to ones self... We couldn't do it before, so what makes you think we can now? Because we're more knowledgeable about alcoholism? That you understand your old wrongs, and ACTUALLY believe your cured? pppppffftt! All just excuses to try because in reality you just want to get drunk again. Sure, it may start off a drink here and a drink there. You telling yourself "Hey! I'm actually doing it! I'm drinking like a normal person!" But it's only a matter of time before you get to comfortable, and are right back where you started. In that twisted drunken reality we used to call living.
Relapses happen. I know this. I absolutely know we are not perfect. But moderation people??? Come on now....I'm and alcoholic, and have only been sober for a few months. But even after my first month, deep down inside I knew I would never be able to drink again, and especially "normally" - I couldn't before. If I was really serious about my sobriety, I could never drink again. (It sucks, but I had to accept that.) Moderation?? That's just crazy talk!
-Ryan
AN ALCOHOLIC CAN'T DRINK IN MODERATION!!!!
I have seen so so SO many posts about relapses from others simply because they THINK they can control their drinking after accumulating some sober time.
Snap outta it people!!! It wont work. You and I both know thinking like this is just a form of lying to ones self... We couldn't do it before, so what makes you think we can now? Because we're more knowledgeable about alcoholism? That you understand your old wrongs, and ACTUALLY believe your cured? pppppffftt! All just excuses to try because in reality you just want to get drunk again. Sure, it may start off a drink here and a drink there. You telling yourself "Hey! I'm actually doing it! I'm drinking like a normal person!" But it's only a matter of time before you get to comfortable, and are right back where you started. In that twisted drunken reality we used to call living.
Relapses happen. I know this. I absolutely know we are not perfect. But moderation people??? Come on now....I'm and alcoholic, and have only been sober for a few months. But even after my first month, deep down inside I knew I would never be able to drink again, and especially "normally" - I couldn't before. If I was really serious about my sobriety, I could never drink again. (It sucks, but I had to accept that.) Moderation?? That's just crazy talk!
-Ryan
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by RyanRed 
I haven't been on these forums for THAT long, but I feel I can say this with confidence with the time that I have been here.
AN ALCOHOLIC CAN'T DRINK IN MODERATION!!!!
I have seen so so SO many posts about relapses from others simply because they THINK they can control their drinking after accumulating some sober time.
Snap outta it people!!! It wont work. You and I both know thinking like this is just a form of lying to ones self... We couldn't do it before, so what makes you think we can now? Because we're more knowledgeable about alcoholism? That you understand your old wrongs, and ACTUALLY believe your cured? pppppffftt! All just excuses to try because in reality you just want to get drunk again. Sure, it may start off a drink here and a drink there. You telling yourself "Hey! I'm actually doing it! I'm drinking like a normal person!" But it's only a matter of time before you get to comfortable, and are right back where you started. In that twisted drunken reality we used to call living.
Relapses happen. I know this. I absolutely know we are not perfect. But moderation people??? Come on now....I'm and alcoholic, and have only been sober for a few months. But even after my first month, deep down inside I knew I would never be able to drink again, and especially "normally" - I couldn't before. If I was really serious about my sobriety, I could never drink again. (It sucks, but I had to accept that.) Moderation?? That's just crazy talk!
-Ryan
AN ALCOHOLIC CAN'T DRINK IN MODERATION!!!!
I have seen so so SO many posts about relapses from others simply because they THINK they can control their drinking after accumulating some sober time.
Snap outta it people!!! It wont work. You and I both know thinking like this is just a form of lying to ones self... We couldn't do it before, so what makes you think we can now? Because we're more knowledgeable about alcoholism? That you understand your old wrongs, and ACTUALLY believe your cured? pppppffftt! All just excuses to try because in reality you just want to get drunk again. Sure, it may start off a drink here and a drink there. You telling yourself "Hey! I'm actually doing it! I'm drinking like a normal person!" But it's only a matter of time before you get to comfortable, and are right back where you started. In that twisted drunken reality we used to call living.
Relapses happen. I know this. I absolutely know we are not perfect. But moderation people??? Come on now....I'm and alcoholic, and have only been sober for a few months. But even after my first month, deep down inside I knew I would never be able to drink again, and especially "normally" - I couldn't before. If I was really serious about my sobriety, I could never drink again. (It sucks, but I had to accept that.) Moderation?? That's just crazy talk!
-Ryan
I'm just quoting this so that some folks might read it twice.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Yep, I had to figure that one out the hard way & with a lot of pain & fallout. I would also like to add to the fact that:
"AN ALCOHOLIC CAN'T DRINK IN MODERATION!!!!"
AND
"IT WILL DEFINITELY GET PROGRESSIVELY WORSE & MORE DIFFICULT TO STOP ONCE YOU START TO THINK YOU CAN"
"SO DON'T THINK YOU CAN, IF YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC YOU CANT! STOP IT!"
.
"AN ALCOHOLIC CAN'T DRINK IN MODERATION!!!!"
AND
"IT WILL DEFINITELY GET PROGRESSIVELY WORSE & MORE DIFFICULT TO STOP ONCE YOU START TO THINK YOU CAN"
"SO DON'T THINK YOU CAN, IF YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC YOU CANT! STOP IT!"
.
Last edited by Dee74; 11-24-2011 at 01:17 AM.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
This just reminded me of this classic Bob Newhart skit "Stop It" and thought I would share ;-)
P.S. Mods - I finally figured out that you have to remove the http://youtu.be/ part of the link. Could a mod please fix my above attempt to embed this video & remove this post. Thank you ;-)
P.S. Mods - I finally figured out that you have to remove the http://youtu.be/ part of the link. Could a mod please fix my above attempt to embed this video & remove this post. Thank you ;-)
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Hey now, if people were to get that there'd be only the tiniest number of posts on here and I'd have to look elsewhere for things to read with my morning coffee.
If this secret gets out, it would change everything.
No danger though, as what you're saying applies to alcoholics. Those who are sure that because of 'x' (a very well thought out and completely logical reason that makes zero sense in hindsight) they can now drink again and it'll be just wonderful forever unlike their previous 8,494 times are also sure they are not alcoholic. So this caution of yours does not apply at all to them and means no more than if you were to state that penguins should not try to live in the tropics. If I'm not a penguin why would that be worth noting?
When they write their confession posts to warn others how it didn't work for them and that they should have paid attention to all those confession posts that tried to warn others how it didn't work, their posts will be ignored by those who are soon to write their confession posts about how it didn't work. That's just the way things usually go.
But if you can keep in mind what you wrote then it was probably worth the time spent in writing it out. Good that you can see and hear what you can see and hear, but people are at different spots than yourself and many of them as yet cannot be expected to retain something like this. There may have been a time in the recent past when this was not as crystal clear to you as it is today either, so cutting others some slack is appropo.
If this secret gets out, it would change everything.
No danger though, as what you're saying applies to alcoholics. Those who are sure that because of 'x' (a very well thought out and completely logical reason that makes zero sense in hindsight) they can now drink again and it'll be just wonderful forever unlike their previous 8,494 times are also sure they are not alcoholic. So this caution of yours does not apply at all to them and means no more than if you were to state that penguins should not try to live in the tropics. If I'm not a penguin why would that be worth noting?
When they write their confession posts to warn others how it didn't work for them and that they should have paid attention to all those confession posts that tried to warn others how it didn't work, their posts will be ignored by those who are soon to write their confession posts about how it didn't work. That's just the way things usually go.
But if you can keep in mind what you wrote then it was probably worth the time spent in writing it out. Good that you can see and hear what you can see and hear, but people are at different spots than yourself and many of them as yet cannot be expected to retain something like this. There may have been a time in the recent past when this was not as crystal clear to you as it is today either, so cutting others some slack is appropo.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by langkah
Hey now, if people were to get that there'd be only the tiniest number of posts on here and I'd have to look elsewhere for things to read with my morning coffee.
If this secret gets out, it would change everything.
No danger though, as what you're saying applies to alcoholics. Those who are sure that because of 'x' (a very well thought out and completely logical reason that makes zero sense in hindsight) they can now drink again and it'll be just wonderful forever unlike their previous 8,494 times are also sure they are not alcoholic. So this caution of yours does not apply at all to them and means no more than if you were to state that penguins should not try to live in the tropics. If I'm not a penguin why would that be worth noting?
When they write their confession posts to warn others how it didn't work for them and that they should have paid attention to all those confession posts that tried to warn others how it didn't work, their posts will be ignored by those who are soon to write their confession posts about how it didn't work. That's just the way things usually go.
But if you can keep in mind what you wrote then it was probably worth the time spent in writing it out. Good that you can see and hear what you can see and hear, but people are at different spots than yourself and many of them as yet cannot be expected to retain something like this. There may have been a time in the recent past when this was not as crystal clear to you as it is today either, so cutting others some slack is appropo.
If this secret gets out, it would change everything.
No danger though, as what you're saying applies to alcoholics. Those who are sure that because of 'x' (a very well thought out and completely logical reason that makes zero sense in hindsight) they can now drink again and it'll be just wonderful forever unlike their previous 8,494 times are also sure they are not alcoholic. So this caution of yours does not apply at all to them and means no more than if you were to state that penguins should not try to live in the tropics. If I'm not a penguin why would that be worth noting?
When they write their confession posts to warn others how it didn't work for them and that they should have paid attention to all those confession posts that tried to warn others how it didn't work, their posts will be ignored by those who are soon to write their confession posts about how it didn't work. That's just the way things usually go.
But if you can keep in mind what you wrote then it was probably worth the time spent in writing it out. Good that you can see and hear what you can see and hear, but people are at different spots than yourself and many of them as yet cannot be expected to retain something like this. There may have been a time in the recent past when this was not as crystal clear to you as it is today either, so cutting others some slack is appropo.
If anything it is a light hearted reminder to all that still have the thought that maybe just maybe we have earned the right to try to have a drink just one more time
I have all the sympathy in the world for the newcomers, I have been in that hell & dont wish it on anyone. If reading these words helps anyone to have a second thought about picking up or even just solidifies their decision not to drink then all is good
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
The really great thing about SR is we share our experience. It's why we exist.
We never know when something we say might strike a chord in some one else....
sometimes it's not even the people we direct our thoughts to that are affected, sometimes it's a person looking at a thread written years ago.
We're a community. I care about the others here.
If I really thought that nothing I said ever made any difference to anyone, I really don't know what I'd be doing here.
Thanks for posting Ryan
I've made the same point myself in other threads many times.
It maybe a simple premise, sure, but it's far from an easy one - we all know that - and I'm glad places like SR are here to help us all through the ups and downs
D
We never know when something we say might strike a chord in some one else....
sometimes it's not even the people we direct our thoughts to that are affected, sometimes it's a person looking at a thread written years ago.
We're a community. I care about the others here.
If I really thought that nothing I said ever made any difference to anyone, I really don't know what I'd be doing here.
Thanks for posting Ryan
I've made the same point myself in other threads many times.
It maybe a simple premise, sure, but it's far from an easy one - we all know that - and I'm glad places like SR are here to help us all through the ups and downs
D
I love Bob Newhart.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest U.S.A.
Posts: 130
Thank you for this post. I might just have to print this off and reread it whenever my alcoholic mind tries to throw me off target with the reasoning "maybe I could just have one or two..maybe just on special occasions..etc.."
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Trans Pecos, TX
Posts: 74
Well said Ryan! I finished day 50 yesterday. This is the longest I have made it in a very long time, and I feel stronger every day. I've been making real efforts at recovery for about a year now, but my biggest fear these days has become less the fear of the binge, but the fear of failure. I know that day is waiting for me when I will feel, usually on the spur of the moment, that I've been so good, and I deserve to celebrate with a brewski or two. No big deal. The trouble, that I have appreciated on an intellectual level for some time, is that it is ALWAYS a big deal. I'll never have just 2 beers. I hate to live in fear, but I remind myself many times a day how much better my life is without resorting to drink. I have to remind myself to be vigilant. I am never moderate in anything, especially drinking. Good luck to all of us. I read this site everyday and it continues to help me keep focus. Thanks everybody!
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