Day 1 minus 1
 

Hello to everyone. I ve read the messages on this site for months but finally decided to join in pure desperate desire that maybe something somewhere someway somehow I can fix my brain to not think opiates need to rule my universe. My life has had its ups but here lately all downs all problems secondary to drugs. If things do not change I honestly do not know what I will do. Life on the outside looks so squeaky clean, good job, great family, nice things. But on the inside its screaming a violent rage of addiction that i simply can no longer afford to tolerate for my sanity's sake, my bank account's sake, and really simply for my life. I am scared beyond all belief because I have tried this so many different ways and always end up back in this spot, lonely and crying myself to sleep curled up with the computer. I almost lost my job today. My family (as crazy as they are, i love them deeply) simply has no tolerance for my bs anymore. I'm losing it all yet all I can think about is how simple the concept of quitting is but how daunting the actual task is. I have four days before i have to be a functional working adult again. I wish i could vent more but the eye lids are getting heavy. Just wanted to say hello and thanks to all those anonymous people who have changed my heart in a good direction tonight.

Hi bittersweet :)

I have no experience with opiates but I know many people here have and they'll respond to you.

What have you tried so far to help you stop? seen a Dr., thought about NA or some other recovery group, or counselling or rehab?

You might like to look at our substance abuse forum too:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome to SR :)

D

Good night and welcome! Come back tomorrow and read more! Keep coming back until you find what will work. Dont give up!

Welcome :) I am a new poster as well, despite lurking for so long. It has felt good to actually post and admit and get some feedback. I think you will get so much from this site.

Welcome to SR!

Oddly enough I didn't really realize how much the insanity of addiction was eating away at me until I started trying to quit. I know that living in that limbo between wanting to be clean and wanting to use is pure hell. I was addicted to alcohol, but I think the beast is pretty similar.

I'm glad you're posting now, I hope you keep it up. There's a lot of great support here and a lot of wisdom.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time Bittersweet- I hope you keep coming back for the moral support. We all want to see you win this fight.