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About to Hit Bottom...

Old 11-21-2011, 02:38 PM
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About to Hit Bottom...

...or maybe I already have, I don't know...

To keep things short, here are the Cliff Notes:

Been a member of AA for the past three months. Picked up my desire chip, got a sponsor, got a home group, went to a meeting every night (started on the 90 in 90), got my one-month chip, started doing service (making sandwiches), etc...

Then I relapsed. Big time. Lost my sponsor. Went out last night and got drunk, then got mugged. Lost my driver's license, health card, phone, bank card, credit cards, cash and house keys.

I have a home group meeting tonight. Open meeting. I have to make the sandwiches. Only thing is, I don't have any way of doing so. The one thing I have left is a credit card I never take out of my apartment. And it's an AMEX--not accepted at the grocery store.

So, yes, while I realize this is certainly not my biggest problem, it is the most pressing one at the moment...

Is it okay to buy three or four pizzas, and bring them along, instead of sandwiches? Or is that incredibly bad form?
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Old 11-21-2011, 02:44 PM
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Bring pizza, but most importantly show up and get some help...
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Old 11-21-2011, 02:48 PM
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I'm not sure if the question is pizza or sandwhiches...I think the question is what will you do next time to minimize your chances of a relapse?
Hopefully you have a successful meeting...keep us posted.
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Old 11-21-2011, 02:52 PM
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Thanks. As I said, I realize the problem is much bigger than menu choices...lol. I am so close to hitting bottom I'm about four inches away from the pavement. But just for tonight, I really need to know if it's okay to bring pizzas instead of making sandwiches. The only alternatives are not showing up, or showing up but bringing nothing for people to eat after the meeting.
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Old 11-21-2011, 03:07 PM
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Hi melancholia
I'm sorry you got mugged - I hope you're ok.

I think the main thing is you show up - if bringing pizza will make you feel better about doing that - by all means, do that...I can't see anyone complaining, myself

D
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Old 11-21-2011, 04:14 PM
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Hitting bottom originally began in the 1930's when alkies were on their deathbed...

Call sponsor BEFORE you pick up a drink.

Sobriety is an action.

Get honest and I'm glad you're alive!
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Old 11-21-2011, 04:34 PM
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I've never been to a meeting that had sandwiches. It supposed to be about recovery. I'm sure pizza is ok.
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Old 11-21-2011, 04:35 PM
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melancholia - just want to send you some love and support. You sound ready to do this thing. You can have a new life - no more insanity & uncertainty. Every time you pick up, dangerous & unpredictable things can happen. You don't need to live like this any more.

Let us know how the meeting goes - we care about you.
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Old 11-21-2011, 04:39 PM
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Go to the meeting. Whether or not you bring pizza is up to you, it's really a pretty minor consideration at this point.

It could be worse, maybe this isn't your bottom.

Don't try to find out, go to the meeting while you still can.
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Old 11-21-2011, 04:43 PM
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Yeah, I can't see why that if you showed up without either anyone would complain. Explaining the situation and the loss of your crudentials/credit cards I'm sure they'd just be glad to have you there!
I've never been to a meeting either where they had food unless it was a birthday or special area meeting. I think I'm going to the wrong meetings! *grin*
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Old 11-22-2011, 03:20 PM
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Thank you, everyone. I truly appreciate your comments.

Well, good news and bad news....lol.

Good news first, I picked up a desire chip for the second time.

I met a woman who's celebrating her ten-year medallion on December 5th, and while she's not a sponsor per se, she gave me her number.

The pizzas were a hit--a nice break from the sandwiches, I was informed. I brought three, two meat and one veggie (for the vegetarians, whom always seem to be forgotten during fellowship).

So, onto bad news, I definitely did hit bottom. Knew I would, even as I wrote this post. I needed to go to the meeting, but I knew telling my family that would let them know I was drinking again. My ex-husband, the absolute love of my life, told me he was not coming home, as 'home' would never be a place where his only companion was a compassionless, lying drunk (and I quote).

Fair enough. He's right. I know he is. It still hurts like a son of a female dog.
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Old 11-22-2011, 03:51 PM
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I have no idea about the pizza, but I'm glad you're back working on your recovery.
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Old 11-22-2011, 05:14 PM
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Melancholia,

Sorry to hear that you were mugged. I would often get robbed when a bit drunk but strangley enough when I was not really drunk. This is the longest I have had the same mobile phone and purse.

Thankyou for taking vegetarians into consideration, lol.

So what happened? You sounded like you were going great guns, what sparked the relapse, this is the important bit in your recovery this is where you learn about yourself.

I think there are milestones along the way in recovery where we have to be more viglilant.

All the best.

PS Melancholia I think of the Van Morrison song
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Old 11-22-2011, 08:58 PM
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Thanks, CaiHong. It's not an excuse, it's not a justification, it's not a rationalization, but if you're asking what the trigger was, it was having to put my cat down.

I really thought I was on the right path until then. I didn't think I was 'cured' or even 'recovered', but maybe just recovering and coping.

But almost as soon as I left the vet's office, I stopped at a bar and had a couple of glasses of wine. The next day I said to myself 'what the hell, you've already slipped', and stopped off at the booze store to get more.
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Old 11-22-2011, 09:30 PM
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There is no bottom, alcoholism is a bottomless pit. Death may even be freedom from this loathe-some disease. [trying to make this somehow sound uplifting] everybody always speaks of a bottom, frankly, there is no bottom in sight. I'm glad you didn't get injured when you got mugged. I have been jumped by a gang in a bar and I was beat up pretty badly. I tried to call the cops, but when they found out it was at a bar, they were like "then you had it coming" That was years ago.

You should really stop drinking before you get hurt.

Last edited by cuyootoo; 11-22-2011 at 09:39 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 11-22-2011, 09:36 PM
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I'd never complain about pizza, lol.

Glad you're taking steps to escape that trap once and for all. You'll find a lot of support here, too.
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Old 11-23-2011, 06:53 AM
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Melancholia, things have been difficult for you lately, but I've never met a problem that couldn't be made worse by drinking.
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Old 11-23-2011, 09:29 AM
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Melancholia, I admire your decision to dust yourself off and get back up. It would have been much easier to blow off the meeting, use the Amex card to buy booze, and get drunk. Instead, you did the best you could, admitted you fell off the wagon, and jumped right back on. With all of your issues in your post, you have inspired me. Good luck!
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Old 11-23-2011, 09:50 AM
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The only true failure is staying down, lying in your bottom and doing nothing. You got up, and went to a meeting. Seems like your head is in a good place, one that will eventually learn to live within the disease. Surrender to it, give up, the fight is over, alcohol won, and start stepping into a different direction according to the steps and to the plan of your higher power. The fellowship will always be there for you, especially when your down, get lots of numbers, and call them often. Think about it, if someone in troublew called you, you would be more than willing to help, right? That is the wonder of the fellowship. Best of luck to you.


And pizza, really? I would f(**&^g kill for pizza at a meeting. Stale ass donuts are the best my groups can muster.


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