jgray1978

Greetings. I am new to this. I am a 33 y.o. man who started drinking heavy at around 26. By heavy I mean drinking vodka or gin straight every night until unconsiousness and many weekends being around the clock binges. Anyway, I am a couple of months into this sober living thing but have some questions/strange feelings. First off, I am a computer engineer and while I can still mentally function a technical job, I find semi-often that I can get cloudy in my thoughts. I might not be able to find the word that I was wanting to use or may be as precise in my wording as I once was. Maybe it's that I am aging or maybe it is alcohol damage. Anyone with any insight?

My more recent problem is that I almost feel like my inner fire is being extinguished. Where I once was very passionate about certain things in life like politics, technology, relationships with others, high morals and ethics, I find that I still hold my values but feel more "Blah" in my attitude.

Does anyone else have any experience with this?

Programmer27

I know exactly what you're talking about. I have felt/still feel the same way. The longer I abstain from drinking the clearer my thoughts get though. My generally blah attitude however, does not change.

I'm being treated for depression by my doctor now, so that combined with sobriety will hopefully help.

least

Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies


Sounds like PAWS to me. It's the body and brain getting readjusted to functioning without alcohol. I noticed it after my last quit date, but it seemed to fade away over time and by a year sober I didn't notice it much anymore.

jgray1978

Wow! Just about every symptom is highly applicable with the exception of disturbed sleep. After about a week out from drinking my sleep reregulated itself. Usually a day or two after getitng past the throwing up.

doggonecarl

At one time that may have been your passion. But in you own words:

That sounds like what you were passionate about. I was the same way. I loved to "think deep thoughts." But there is something hollow about the intellectualizing of a drunk. Make your passion your recovery...then you will be in a position to live your other passions.

aussieblue

Hi jgray1978 welcome to SR glad you found us.

Shygirl

Hi Jgray1978, stick to your sobriety.......relapse is HELL>>>>>>>>

Welcome,
Shygirl

EmeraldRose

Welcome jgray.

I think we all have a shift in passion at one time or another. There is alot of things I used to like to do or think about but things change and I find my thoughts are ever evolving.
Actually, I'm having a hard time finding a passion for any one thing lately. I recently moved and think I should be driving around this big wonderful city taking in the sites...but here I sit. Blah! LOL

Dee74

Hi and welcome jgray

I found drinking extinguished those passions, not recovery.

It took me a while for my mind and body to heal themselves but I definitely got my 'inner fire' back.

None of us are Drs. It might be PAWs...it may not - it could be depression or any number of things too...

please check with your Dr if you're worried

D

eJoshua

Hey jgray, welcome to SR!

I, too, experience the brain fog still. Sometimes I forget what I was going to say before I start and other times I just have a really hard time expressing myself verbally. I'm usually a pretty articulate person, so it is embarrassing to find myself struggling with words occasionally.

Hang in there, I know it's improved a little bit in my case, but I'm only at 7 months so I'm guessing it will get better after my body and mind continue to heal.