Embarrased but back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: anywhere, USA
Posts: 136
Embarrased but back
Ok so I had a great month in October and then fell off, though I had this licked and boy was I wrong. I had a moment of weakness and feel off so hard, I tried to come back after a week but then kept telling myself ok October was easy so I can drink another week and then start well that was three weeks ago. I am basically back to where I started and perhaps even deeper in this than when I started. I was worried what everyone was going to think and though that I might not log on again but I realized that I need this community so here I am. i have never been as successful as I was when I was posting every day.. feel like I let everyone down but I guess tomorrow is another day.. great to ready the postings again..
Editor
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Posts: 1,516
ED
You are back! That says a lot. You will see this on here many times........It is not if you fall down......it is if you get back up and wipe the dust off that matters. We are human and will fall. One step at a time. One day at a time.
Dave
You are back! That says a lot. You will see this on here many times........It is not if you fall down......it is if you get back up and wipe the dust off that matters. We are human and will fall. One step at a time. One day at a time.
Dave
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Ed, you didn't let anyone down. As stated it takes great courage and honesty to admit you relapsed. Obviously, you want to stop drinking or you wouldn't have posted. We have ALL been down that road before. Try and examine the triggers that led you there and relapse prevention thinking that may help with the trigger situations. For me, it truly is one day at a time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: anywhere, USA
Posts: 136
Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement
I am going to go down this road again. I am going to revert back to my initial plan using the tools I did before. I found insperation on this site and in some videos. I am also going to exercise every day and make my recovery a priority. I am going to walk and execrise. I am foremost hold myself accountable.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 1,149
Keep trying, don't give up.
I've relapsed too many times to count but am coming up to 4 months now.
I am constantly adding to my 'toolbox' of tricks to remain sober and am finding the longer I go being sober, the more pathetic that addictive voice is becoming.
I've relapsed too many times to count but am coming up to 4 months now.
I am constantly adding to my 'toolbox' of tricks to remain sober and am finding the longer I go being sober, the more pathetic that addictive voice is becoming.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 325
Originally Posted by EDHARLEY 
I am going to go down this road again. I am going to revert back to my initial plan using the tools I did before. I found insperation on this site and in some videos. I am also going to exercise every day and make my recovery a priority. I am going to walk and execrise. I am foremost hold myself accountable.
One of the hardest things at first was opening up to anyone, but once I was able to let others know of my recovery I was able to start building a foundation and get support.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: PC
Posts: 148
Ed,
Its great that you posted. I think I had the same sobriety date as you - Oct 2nd give or take. I made it exactly 4 weeks and then went down, like you very hard. My ex wont let me see the kids cause she thinks I will drive drunk with them even though that hasnt happened. Then I met this wonderful woman on a fluke and had to sneak a of drink vodka. She of course smelled it. The thought that vodka doesnt smell on you is nuts. So Dee and all I have a plan. There are morning meetings, noon meetings and evening meetings every 24 hrs within 15 miles. I can do this.
Its great that you posted. I think I had the same sobriety date as you - Oct 2nd give or take. I made it exactly 4 weeks and then went down, like you very hard. My ex wont let me see the kids cause she thinks I will drive drunk with them even though that hasnt happened. Then I met this wonderful woman on a fluke and had to sneak a of drink vodka. She of course smelled it. The thought that vodka doesnt smell on you is nuts. So Dee and all I have a plan. There are morning meetings, noon meetings and evening meetings every 24 hrs within 15 miles. I can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: anywhere, USA
Posts: 136
Thanks Simple
it has been good to know that people are supportive, and I am sorry that you are having a hard time. If you need anything let me know.. Your plan sounds like mine which is to use the tools we have.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Present Moment
Posts: 646
EDHARLEY ~ "I was worried what everyone was going to think and though that I might not log on again"
Aren't you glad you did? We're not here to make you feel worse, I'm sure you can do that just fine on your own
We care about you...re-focus and get working on that plan. You can do it.
Aren't you glad you did? We're not here to make you feel worse, I'm sure you can do that just fine on your own
We care about you...re-focus and get working on that plan. You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: North America
Posts: 162
Welcome back ED. It takes a ton of courage to admit you had a slip up. I really admire you being honest with yourself. I think the big take away is how you will gain strength going forward with a plan.
Welcome back. Please keep us posted on going forward. Lots of support.
Welcome back. Please keep us posted on going forward. Lots of support.
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